Rigorous honesty : an ongoing wrestling match with happiness and fear

In my thesis, Rigorous Honesty: An Ongoing Wrestling Match with Happiness and Fear, I will examine the role of fear and ego in my artistic practice and collaborations with other artists. My investigation is based around the concept of The Process vs. The Ticket mentality. At UT, I've committed fully to the process of creating and mounting new work. This has helped to combat the "Ticket" mentality or, thinking of each project as a ticket to widespread success, acclaim of financial gain. Additionally, I have craved and sought out close scrutiny and critique from my colleagues and professors. This commitment to the "process" of UT has helped me find moments of joy, connection and artistic breakthrough. While I still struggle with fear, jealousy and ego, I’ve been able to adopt concrete strategies to keep the focus on my work and my own personal version of success.