More people are smoking CAMELS than ever before! 


TEXAS RANGER 

It's 
so 
different 
such an interesting 

place! 
"There's always something new at N~lson's." 
4610 San Antonio Hiway 
NELSON'S TRADING POST 
IS ALWAYS YOUR 
SOLUTION IN DISCOVERING 
"THAT UNUSUAL GIFT" 
handmade ste rling silver je,..;elry with jade and purest turquoise. . .. 
choice potteries and baskets... 
I 
our purses and billfolds have that dis­tinctive something that puts them in a class by themselves. 
handmade moccasins, handmade dol!s from the .Indian reservations, handmade ties, .. . 
HUNDREDS OF ITEMS 
AT THIS NEW 

INDIAN 
AND 
MEXICAN 

STORE 

NELSON'S TRADING POST 
NEXT TO "THE TOP HAT" 
THAT WAS NO LADY, ETC. • • • 

"If there be anyone in the congrega­tion who likes sin let him stand up­what's this, Sister Virginia, you like sin?" 
"Oh pardon me, I thought you said gin." 
I say, old man, I hear you are going to Paris. Are you going to take your wife?" 
"My wife! You wouldn't take a sand­wich to a banquet, would you?" -Green Gander. 

"Well, Ruth, my old bosom friend!" 
"Yes sir! I used to be seen at more first nights than any other man in town." "Oh, a dramatic critic, eh?" 
"No, I was a bell boy Falls." 
A young lady went into a "Have you any Lifebuoy?" "Set the pace, lady," said drug clerk, "set the pace." 
in Niagara 
drug store. she asked. the young 
-Pitt Panther. 

Little dster was entertaining the vis­itors until her mother was ready. One of the ladies remarked to the other with a significant look, "Not very p-r-e-t-t-y,'' spelling the word. · 
Answered the child: "Neither are you, you old w-i-t-c-h." 
Jack: "But, <lading, why aren't you wearing my fraternity pin?" Jane: "All the fellows say that it scratches their hands." 

Coroner-And what were your hus­band's last words? 
New Widow-He said, "I don't see how they make a profit out of this stuff at a dollar and a quarter a quart." 
-Oahanacu. 
Once upon a time there were three coeds: a great big coed, a medium sized coed, and a little coed, who went for a walk in the woods. When they came back they were tired, so they went to their rooms. All of a sudden : 
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed," said the great big coed in a great big voice. 
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed, too," cried the medium sized coed with the medium sized voice. 
"Good night, girls," said the little sized girl with the little sized voice. -Pelican. 
Child: "Mummy, sing me a lullaby." Mother: "Hold my beer for me and I'll try to get one on the radio." 

"Do you think we shoilld tell Junior about humans?" 
"You can't arrest me. I come from one of the best families in Virginia." "That's okay, buddy. We ain't arrest­ing you for breeding purposes." -Record. 
JANUA~'i' 1'148 


Ours alone 

wonderful wonderful f/~~11­... packable ... wearable 
With proper pride we bring you those fabulous suits in Celanese Weathervane tailored by Handmacher . Celery crisp . .. cucumber cool. 

Select from this wide range of colors: 
Black 
Navy 
Brown 
Turquoise 
Grey 
Beige · 

Sizes 9 to 15. Oth­er styles in Misses and Junior Sizes. 

TEXAS RANGER 



A CHOICE MENU 


A good selection of tasty dishes fills the P.K. menu. Whenever you're in town, it's the ideal place to eat. 
If you're rushed for time you can depend on us for courtesy as well as speed. 

STAYS OPEN All NIGHT! 
On 7th Street 
across from the 
DRISKILL HOTEL 
and 
next to the 
STEPHEN F. 
AUSTIN 

Under the new 
management 
of TOM BARNETT 


HELLUVA 

noomm·ArE 

DOES YOUR ROOMMATE 
COLLECT SNAKES? 
IF NOT, READ THIS 
PERSONALITY SKETCH 
BY HARRY· NIXON 
THOSE who know William Farquhar 
McKinney, pre-law student from San Antonio, strictly adhere to the "look­but-do-not-touch" policy when visiting his room. 
It seems McKinney's hobby is collect­ing snakes. 
Not only does he collect snakes, but a generous assortment of spiders, lizards, and others re.ptiles inhabit closets and desk drawers in his abode. 
Before the Austin police department makes a hurried call to 3004 North Guad­alupe Street, let it be added. that said serpents are safely housed in protective glass jars and other containers. 
One has to look out the back window of Bill's room, however, to see the prized specimens. There, in a steel cage are such beautiful but deadly creatures as rattlesnakes, copperheads, water mocca­sins, boa constrictors, coral snakes, and other representatives .of the reptile world. 
The specially built cage is guaranteed to be escape-proof. It had better be, for just one venom-monger would have to make a getaway before Bill would ac­quire the 'title of the gent least likely to succeed in the neighborhood. 
And Bill would not like that. For the tall, gangling lad is one of the most friendly characters that you could hope to meet. 
The handsome Mr. McKinney acquired his monicker "The Snake" while serving as a radar-man in the Navy during the war. He says that on his mine-sweeper in the Pacific everybody had a nick­name. When his fellow-sailors heard of his hobby they immediately started call­ing him "Snake" and the name has stuck. 
Without hesitation, "Snake" will point out that snakes have no eyelids and, consequently, can be awakened by any sharp movement in front of their eyes. He says that they also have no ears and it is believed that their tongue is a highly specialized sense organ adapted to hearing and is used in the same man­ner as an antenna, picking up vibrations along the ground. Bill will tell you also that nearly all snakes have but one lung. 
Koen 
Ten years ago Bill knew no more than the general layman about snakes. He had no special affection for them un­til August, 1938, when a visitor named Sheldon Baldwin moved into his neigh­borhood in San Antonio. Sheldon was quite a snake fancier, having done some work with them at his home in Pitts­burgh, Pa., at the Carnegie Museum. One day he invited Bill to accompany him to the San Antonio River bottoms to look for water snakes. Bill reluctantly accepted this offer and together they started on their search. It proved suc­cessful and Bill decided to forsake the more expensive and relatively tame h.ob­by of stamp collecting for snake col­lecting. 
He recalls that his closest call in han­dling snakes came early in his career after he had purchased a Central Ameri­can boa constrictor from W. A. King of Brownsville, who is known as the "Snake King." He took it home with him and he and Baldwin handled it with leather gloves until they became accustomed to it. That night, Bill removed it from its cage, picked it up and draped it on his shoulder. The boa was not satisfied with this position and coiled its powerful body around Bill's neck. Luckily, he was holding its head at the time and a scalpel was handy on his work table near by. Momentarily forgetting the $25 that he had paid for it, he picked up the scalpel and slit the boa's throat, at the same time unwinding it from around his neck. 
Bill has never been bitten by a poison­
ous snake, but has had several narrow 
escapes. He tells about the time he was 
hunting for non-poisonous snakes down 
in the Louisiana swamps while on liberty 
from his ship. While carefully edging 
his way along the swamps in an area 
that bore every semblance of a snake 
hatchery, Bill happened to glance down 
at his feet and was aghast to see a 5­
foot rattler coiled not two feet away. 
Bill quickly applied the snake-stick he 
held in his hand to the rattler's head and 
held it in check, but this was one time 
when he was "almost scared to death." 
-THE END 
JANUARY 1948 




creates spring enchantment . · . . o dernure but devastating dress of mint-fresh quoise silk, Persian print, with cuffed de­colletoge and whirlpool skirt gently buoyed by on organdie petticoat. 
OURS EXCLUSIVELY 
From our collection of couturier designs for spring. 
"Featuring America's Finest Designers." 
Apparel Solon, Second Floor 

TEXAS RANGER 
SUCCESS DURING THE CO·MING YEAR 

THIS SINCERE WISH IS EXTENDED TO THE UNI­VERSITY, ITS STUDENTS, PROFESSORS AND EM­PLOYEES. WE INVITE YOU TO USE OUR PRO­GRESSIVE SERVICES FOR YOUR FINANCIAL NEEDS. 


THE CAPITAL NATIONAL BANK 

MEMBER FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION 
MEMBER FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM 

CAPITAL AND SURPLUS 
SEVENTH ST. 
ONE MILLION DOLLARS 

BETWEEN CONGRESS AND COLORADO 
8 JANUARY 1948 
\ 




about 



L'Affaire Rou.ge (Cont.) 
MORNING AFTER we wore our new fall jacket to the Range1· office (the one with the red lining) we received via 
U. S. Mail, First Class, a pamphlet from Mr. Wendell Addington, University stu­dent and director of "The Youth Com­mission, Communist Party of Texas, P. 
0. Box 1532, Austin." Included was the 

Pt=1r1C(?RAcy/ PuRoe:} 

following revelation, which we reprint at risk of being investigated: 
The South has the people, the re­
sources, the democratic traditions to 
build a prosperous and free lanq. 
But our people are oppressed. 
Our resourc.es are stolen. ~ 
Our democratic heritage is ig­
nored or perverted. 
We students will graduate into the most impoverished, underdevel­oped, uneducated, unhealthy, un­democratic section of the United States. 

We gave serious consideration, after this soaked in, to transferring our . 273 miscellaneous credits to Moscow Univer-­sity so that we could graduate into a healthier, better educated, more demo­cratic atmosphere. Unfortunately, how­ever, Registrar Matthews was unable to supply any of MU's latest announce­ments for foreign students. Perhaps Mr. Addington can furnish more de­tails? 
2-2475 
SWEET-VOICED young (our guess) 
employee of the Bell System informed us the other day that Midland was call­ing the Texas Ranger. "Put 'em on," we said, with that "we-don't-care-who­we-talk-to" inflection. 
"Is this the Texas Rangers?" said the Voice from the Plains. 
"You won't get us on that entrapment clause," we returned, but admitted that we were "connected with the Ranger." 
"Well I want to report an immoral road-show up here that is breaking the law and I think you ought to do some­thing about it," demanded the wrathful 
V. from the P. 
TEXAS R~N_!SER 
For the nonce we were tempted to grab our opera glasses and go right up, but with the thought that there might be something lewd in that road-show we came to our senses and sadly informed our caller that she wanted the law en­forcement boys out at Camp Mabry 
(3381), not the drop-dead publication at the University ·(2-2475). We_ never have any fun. 
Impasse 

ALL THE TIME we are getting calls 
that ought to go to the other Texas Rangers. Accordingly, we wondered if some of our calls might not be going to the Department of Public Safety. (We're certainly not getting many down here in the Jaybee basement.) In pensive mood the other day we called the Ranger HQ (which is hidden in the directory under the heading "State," sub-head "Public Safety Dept. of Camp Mabry," while we are listed simply as "Texas Ranger." Nothing subversive about us). 
"Texas Ranger headquarters," said 
the operator out there. 

"This is The Texas Ranger-" we be­gan. 
"This is Ranger headquarters. Who is calling, please?" 
"The Texas Ranger is calling-" 
"This is the Texas' Rangers." 
"Pardon, this is The Texas Ranger." 
"You are speaking to the Texas Rang­ers." 
"But I am the Texas Ranger." 
"Are you reporting?" 
"Reporting what?" 
"To headquarters ., .." 
"What headquarters?" 
"The Texas Rangers-" 
"This is The Texas Ranger-" 
Folded Hands 

WHETHER THE NAACP is looking 
for a symbol to represent their cru­sade to· open University classes to Ne­groes we don't know. But if they are, the Daily Texan printed a natural last month. The following paragraph ap­peared in an article conc:erning a conver­sation between Professor W. A. Kirk of Tillotson College and .Assistant Registrar 
Max Fitchenbaum. Mr. Kirk sought ad­mittance to the Graduate School. 
The short Negro, dressed in a 
gray pin-stripe suit, and accom­
panied by the dean of women at 

Tillotson College, Miss J. A. El­
more, got up leaving Mr. Fitchen­
baum sitting with his hands folded 
in front of him. 

The symbol we see is that of the folded hands. In a sitting position, of course. A symbol of disinterest, of non­chalant refusal. We live in an era of symbolism. Even the era in which we live is symbolic of the symbolism. A symbolic era is-ah, the hell with it. 
Don't Fence Me In 
NOSTALGIC MEMORIES of what we 
thought was a by-gone era returned to us the other day when one of those ex-soldiers living in the FPHA' dorms over on San Jacinto Blvd. came by and rammed his latest gripe down our throats. Seems the University has been over-zealous in putting fences around the dormitory parking areas and the supply of cars now exceeds available parking space. 
With that old nostalgic twinge we 

thought of the fencing mania which 
overwhelmed the University administra­
tion last spring. One incident particu­
larly lodges in our infertile brain. 
Since the paleolithic age, we pedes­

trian peasants had cut across a vacant 
lot behind the women's tennis courts on 
the way to the Home Ee Teahouse, the 
Delta Tau Delta Fratfiat, and the Park 
Place residential section. Until one day 
a steel fence was constructed, for no 
apparent reason, right across the vacant 
lot. 
But there was a gate in the fence, 

and with a little deviation from their 
beaten path the pedestrians overcame 
the obstacle. Then the gate was pad­
locked. 

The padlock was cut and the gate taken off its hinges. The University re­placed it and wrapped it in a heavy log­chain. 
The log-chain was cut. In despera­tion the University welded it shut. (Continued on next page) 
t' 
FOR ALL TYPES 

OF 

RECORDS 

CLASSICAL AND 
POPULAR 

COME IN AND ·sEE US 
We have one of the largest stocks of records and albums in the Southwest. 
Also 
RADIOS 
RECORD PLAYERS 

of all types 
We will appreciate a visit from 
YOU 
Ask about our 
FREE RECORD 
DEAL! 





MAURINE'S 

"A NAME TO REMEMBER" 

RECORD SHOP 



The path deviated once again and the pedestrians started going around the end of the fence, which bordered on a creek bank. Then the University welded steel projections out over the creek. 
For a few days it appeared that the University had won. But one morning the sun's bright rays disclosed a gaping hole which someone with a pair of strong wiresnippers had cut smack through the middle of the fence. The path, so far as we know, hasn't deviated since. 
Record Reverie 
Jane Russell, who sings (perhaps that's not the word) as if she were wait­ing for Jack Beutel to. slip into the hay­loft, strides into the vocalist field this month with an album of eight tunes, Let's Put Out the Lights (Columbia). Miss Russell at least has more . volume than most current songstresses. She sets the mood nicely, has an intimate style. 
Capitol has its tongue in cheek (and an eye on the profits) in a "novelty jazz" coupling of Three O'Clock Jump and Ja-Da by Ten Cats and A Mouse, better known as Peggy Lee, Dave Bar­bour, Benny Carter, Paul Weston, Dave Cavanough, Red Norvo, Billy May, Bob­by Sherwood, et al. This bit of inten­tional nonsense is worthy only for its unorthodoxy-Lee on drums (lays down a nice beat, too), N orvo on piano, Carter on teno'r, May on trombone, all just fill­ing up recording time. 
Gene Krupa takes honors for the best dance coupling of the month with a nice "be-bop" tenor saxing by Charlie Ken­nedy highlighting I May Be Wrong and a cute tune, Please Don't Play No. 6 Tonight. Nineteen-year-old Kennedy's Lester Youngish tenoring shows promise and sticks out brightly over smooth sec­tion work by the band, guided by Kru­pa's heavy beat. Former Thornhill, Dor­sey crooner Buddy Hughes takes the vocal spotlight on the flipover, a bit of danceable nonsense. Krupa sounds as if he used a Colt .45 instead of drumsticks for his heavy rimshots, but he's the boss. 

'John Kirby returns from a long si­lence in a new Crown album erroneously titled "The New Kirby" as John's mu­sical ideas and interpretations are mir­rors of his fine former renditions. · An added feature is the superb vocal of Sarah Vaughn, who handles the lyricE like oil controls Texas politics. Kirby's Raymond Scottish music is danceable, subtle mood music-a balm to much of the current screeching. 
This month's classical selection should sell like The New Masses at a Congres­sional investigation -Aram Khatchatu­rian's Masquerade (Victor -4 sides). This increasingly popular Armenian composer's symphonci suite is made up of fragments of a score which he com­posed in 1939 for a Moscow play of the same title, a satire on the 1.\ndisciplined antics of the social elite in Czarist Rus­sia. 
Khatchaturian's music reminds one of an unusual blending of Tchaikovsky's melodic patterns and Sousa's stin:ing rhythms. Although this suite contains nothing extraordinarily original, its brilliant dynamics and harmonic shad­ings punctuate the melodic pattern in impressive fashion. Arthur Fiedler con­ducts the Boston "Pops" Orchestra hand­somely and Victor superbly records this dynamic work.-E. GARTLY JACO. 

Ph. 2-4679 
Open 9 A.M. Close 6:30 P.M. 
'It's comfortable. It's good looking. 

It's right for any hour of the day or evening. 
It's a Hollywood suit possessing oil the virtues that make you look smart, feel luxurious, plus· giving you a welcome amount of wear. 

HOLLYWOOD SU ITS 

SHOWN ABOVE IS ONE OF MANY FULL-DRAPED DOUBLE-BREASTED 
HOLLYWOOD SUITS AT REYNOLDS -PENLAND .• . AUSTIN ' S FINEST MAN ' S SHOP 

REYnOLDS. PEnLHnD 

709 CONGRESS 

TEXAS RANGER 

' 
' 
,. 





RANGING 

Not that anyone has asked us, but we thought you might like to know how the Ranger gets put together. 
It takes a lot of work, but probably it would take less time if there were more work and less horsing around. Somebody is always trying to get hu­morous, and other staff members knock themselves out trying to outdo that somebody. 
Someone comes in with an idea which he swears would be the greatest thing the Ranger has published. 
Candy Johnson asks the staff for opinions. Ralph Marks says, "Not bad, but how about the angle ._.. ?" Floyd Wade mutters, "It stinks!" Ben J effery screams, "Oh no! Not that!" 
J. P. Porter thinks a second, says, "It would be good only if we could work it into an expose." 
Warmack chuckles, "Who was that lady I seen you with. Lodestone LaToole says, "Buy me a beer." 
By the time the idea appears in the Ranger, it may be changed so much the originator won't recognize it. Which is usually for the best. 
With everybody cramming for pre­Christmas exams, doing their last min­ute shopping, ·eating cheeseburgers, mak­ing love, and getting ready for the holi­days, this issue was hard to put out. So if you notice any of the usual monthly features missing in this January issue, you may attribute it to the fact that we refused to spend Christmas Eve in the Ranger office. 
The jokes, which we are convinced are more widely read than anything else, are quite a problem. There hasn't been a new joke printed in a college magazine in 300 years. We've looked through old copies of the Ranger and have found that our. fathers and mothers laughed at the same jokes we hear now­adays-those rascals. And, it's a funny thing, sex was the subject then, too. 
Students also want to know why we don't run more cartoons. We usually run all the good ones we can get our hands on. The supply, we are happy to report, is increasing. 
Our famous· Polvogt cartoon (the cou­ple dancing) got the following sugges­tion via postal card from a group called The Stag Line: "Why not show the other side?" 
Aw, let's leave a little to your imagi­nation. THE EDITOR 

CONTENTS  
HELLUVA  ROOMMATE  .....  b  
JUST ABOUT EVERYTHll-.JG  9  
THE TEXAS SPECTATOR  ....................... .  14  
JETHRO PIGSTY AT TEXAS  lb  
COLLEGE OF PHARMACY  .  18  
TEXAS 71, VAT b9 .  ··············· .... 20  
INTERMISSION  ....  ···········  21  
GIRL OF THE MONTH  ....  ..... : ....  22  
ARE  Fl NAL  EXAMS  REALb.Y NEC ESSARY?  24  
EDITORIAL  .  40  

STAFF 

ROBERT E. V.. JOHNSON, Editor RALPH MARKS, Associate 
Managing Editor: Ben Jeffery. Humor Editor: George Warmack. Art Editor: Ed Miller. Cartoon Editor: Bill Yates. Feature Editor: J. P. Porter. Make-Up Editor: Floyd Wade. Photographic Editor: Bill B,idges. Exchange Editor: Bynum . Staff Assistants : Sherwin Miller and Pie Wagner. Writer Contributors: Tony Guerra , E. Gartly Jaco, Harry Nixon , Ted Barrett and Bill Hughes, James Vachule, W. Paul Strassman. Art Staf{: Bill Polvogt, Perry Keith, C. W. Nelson. Supervisor and Advertising Manager: F. R. Moerke. Advertising Sales­men. George Saegert and Don Moore. 
DECEMBER VOLUME SIXTY NUMBER FOUR 
Published by Texas Student Publications, Inc. Editorial Office: Journalism Building 5. Business and Advertising Offices: Journalism Building I08. Appli­cation for second class mailing permit pendin g at the Post Office, Austin, Texas. 
Printed by Von Boeckmann-Jones Co., Austin, Texas. 
TEXAS RANGER 


THE TEXAS SPECTATOR 

When Beauford Jester was swon. in 

_as governor of Texas, one publication in the state differed considerably from all the rest in its reporting of the event. 
"That most famous of Texas farm­to-market roads-the People's Path -finally got its load to town this week. 
Huckleberry Jester, the barefoot Kappa Sig, arrived in the governor's office after ~ campaign of thirty­four years. His cheeks were still rosy and unwrinkled, but his future was not..•." 

E.ach week, some 3,300 paid subscrib­ers pluck The Texas Spectator from their ma{lboxes to read with mixed feelings the behind-the-scenes commentaries of this little Austin publication. These feelings, depending on the reader's taste in report­ing, often range from whole-hearted ad­miration to righteous indignation. 
The Spectator tries hard to be the of­ficial spokes~an for Texas liberals, but though such well-known liberals as Hom­er Rainey, J. Frank Dobie, Clarence Ayres, and Walter Prescott Webb have contributed articles, it has thus far failed in uniting Texas !iblilrals in a commqn cause. 
Perhaps the easiest way to dispel the 
BY FLOYD WADE 

notion that the staff of the Svectator is made up of bomb-throwing zealots is to mention that its contributors are all former University of Texas students. 
The first Svectator was dated October 12, 1945, and its masthead carried the names of C. Badger Reed, H. Mewhinney; and Harold Young as publishers. These three men made up the original staff and were responsible for the birth of the paper. 
· Young, a former city editor of the Houston P_ost, served as an Army pub­lic relations officer during the last great conflagration, and was floundering around in the new postwar world when he ran into Mewhinney and Reed. Mewhinney was toying with the idea of buying a Texas newspaper, and had enlisted the aid of Reed who;;e sympathetic views plus considerable wealth made him a valuable partner. This triumvirate finally decided on a. weekly paper which would give them a little more time to ruminate the news. 


Reed guaranteed a backlog of around $30,000 and the first issue, with fifty­four pre-publication subscriptions, was printed on the Capital Printing Co. press. 
In this first issue, there was an edi­torial titled "Our Little Paper and Its Purpose." This credo seems to charac­terize the Spectator ~nd its work. 
"We realize too well that in peel­ing off with this little publication we are getting into a mighty fast poker game with a mighty short stack of chips. We should there­fore like to explain, to anybody who will stop and listen, what we are getting at and how we hope to go about it.... 
Texas politics in recent years has been dominated by a conclave of pre­posterous screwballs. We do not feel 
JANUARY 1948 

The Texas Spectator t'.1(1: 1S CEM« ( lan1'.T0.A!. f'Al:UAATI0. 11<1 THE TEXAS WAY Aggies Don't Like Gilchrist . How To Raise Teachers' Pay  The Texas Spectator V-I l"Rltt I~ CO'TS .\l'STl:-1. ll:US. '1:Hl!Jllf 1.. t?H College of Mines Bans Eco Text 'No New Taxes Needed' -Jester  The Texas Spectator Aggieland Gleams From Whitewash Jim Taylor, Jester's Plowboy Tom Clark's Setting Star  

that the Texas newspapers have treated this phenomenon either can­didly or judiciously. 
The era opened in 1938, when Pappy O'Daniel came boiling out of Fort Worth waving his flour sack and bell()wing his benevolent in­tentions toward the old folks. Year by year, campaign by campl!ign, since Pappy first set the pace, pub­lic debate in Texas has gQt sillier and sillier. But this statewide medi­cine show has been repotred in the daily press with a deferential gravity that might have been accorded the orations of Cicero.... 
A Texan who gets his information from the daily newspapers has just about as much chance of finding out what goes on around him as a blind­folded mule at the bottom of a coal mine. 
It is not that the newspapers don't know what's going on; they just aren't going to tell it. Thefr tone is a distinguished and noncommital reticence. In large part, this effect is achieved by what is known to the trade as o~jectivity. Objectivity means that if Pappy O'Daniel tells a reporter it is raining outside, and and if Jimmy Allred tells the re­porter it is not, the rep()rter is not supposed to have sense enough to go to the window and see for him­self. 
The Spectator intends to look through the window." 

Anticipating later difficulties which twice almost caused the Spectator to toss in the towel, this first editorial had this to say: 
"Friends have warned us that an inevitable fate awaits us. We are grateful for those warnings; but we feel as the poet felt in the invoca­tion to 'John Brown's Body'­

TEXAS RANGER 
Their words are just. But when the birchbark-call 1 s shaken with the sound that hunters make, The moose comes plunging through the forest-wall-Although the rifle waits beside the lake." 

The second issue carried a quotation from Shakespeare's "Cymbeline" which has since adorned the masthead of every issue. 
"Fear no more the frown o' the great . .. Thou art past the tyrant's stroke." 

Young, the editor, attended the Uni­versity for three years in the early twenties, and was a reporter on The Daily Texan. He was city editor of the Houston Post for seven yea.rs. 
In 1922, Mewhinney edited the Long­horn, University literary magazine and predecessor of the present Ranger. 
He remained with the Spectator fifteen months before quitting to take a job with the Houston Post. His facile prose containing tasteful evidence of his in­terest in classical literature added much to the early issues. 
Reed is a native of Austin and also attended the University. He worked as a reporter on the old Austin American, and later joined the predominantly Texan staff of the New York Morning Tele­graph. He is still trying to steady the stumbling Spectator, despite the fact that his interest has cost him around $30,000 thus far. 
(Continued on Page 28) 



"Just call me Piggy, J. T." 


Jethro Pigsty 
at Texas 

BY TED BARRETT AND BILL HUGHES 
Cartoons by Ed Miller 
From his extensive reading of Ho­ratio Montague at Oxford and Dave Swift at Yale, Jethro Pigsty knew pretty well what to expect at the Uni­versity. He was somewhat surprised, therefore, when no one greeted him at the T. & P. depot. His surprise was short-lived, however, for a heavy black limousiiie drew smoothly to a stop and a rotund little man in a black cap and gown bounced from its back seat. 
"You must be Jethro Pigsty from Oozing Springs! I am J. T. Pumper­nickel, president of the University. We are expecting grE!at things from you here, Mr. Pigsty." 
"Just call me Piggy, J. T.," answered Jethro magnanimously. 
"Well, jump right in, Piggy, and we will be out at the school in a trice," said the pedagogue, brushing the tassel of his mortarboard from his face. "You do not have time to meet all the students this morning, but the Board of Regents will be grateful if you will meet them 
before you proceed with more important affairs. They are always eager to get acquainted with the new students and 'chew the fat' about current issues. Helps insure Peace and Tranquillity on the campus, you know." 
A few minutes later Jethro was ushered into a massive chamber where several regents were warming them­selves before a huge fireplace in which copies of The Big Money crackled mer­rily. As he approached the group he overheard one inquire, "Are we firing anyone interesting today?" 
"No," answered the other with a bored grin, "just the routine log, an English professor and a few liberals from the Department of Economics." 
"Oh, ·shucks," replied the first with a crestfallen air. 
"Gentlemen," announced the president, allow me to present Mr. Jethro Z. Pig­sty, who, as you know, is going to be with us this semester." 
After a busy fifteen minutes during which the regents listened attentively while Jethro expounded his views on liberal education, Dr. Pumpernickel whispered in his ear, "It's five minutes of twelve, Piggy. You'll just have time to dash down and register before we lunch at the Commons." 

After extricating himself with diffi­culty from the admiring people at regis­tration, Piggy signed his cards and learned the time and room number of his first Tecture. 
In the Commons a French waiter in dinner jacket conducted Piggy and pr. Pumpernickel through a quiet magnifi­cence of snowy napery and gleaming crystal and silver. A hidden orchestra furnished a soft background of dinner music. 
Several hours later 'Jethro reclined on a deep leather sofa in the drawing room of his air-conditioned suite in the lux­urious men's dormitory. Suddenly a tim­id rapping broke the silence. "Come in, come in," cried Piggy hospitably. 
A hulking figure shyly lumbered into the room. "I'm Coach Nailface, sir. Aren't you Piggy Pigsty, triple-threat left end of the Oozing Springs Musk­rats?" 
"Well, yes, I am," replied Piggy mod­estly, reaching for his fountain pen to give the coach his autograph. 
"Piggy, we'll be seeing you out for the Varsity team this fall, won't we?" asked the coach, riffling suggestively through a thick stack of currency. 
"No, Coach, no, I don't think so," said Piggy firmly. "You see, the way I figure it, there just isn't room for me and Layne on the same team." 
"Perhaps if we move Layne to second string...." 
"It just wouldn't work, Coach. Layne is a family man. Ethics you know, even in football." Sadly the coach stuffed the wad of bills back into a bulging pocket and shuffled out of the room. 
The following morning Jethro attend­ed his first class, American Government, a course strongly recommended by the legislature. The professor, a dignified old gentleman named Bloat, donned his mortar-board and began his lecture in an impressive gibber. 
"Students, as you may have learned in high school, the Declaration of In­dependence was divinely inspired, and the Constitution was written on tablets of stone with rays of sun from Heaven. The roots of our divinely-ordained sys­tem, however, go all the way back to the discovery of America. Now which of you can tell the class when and by whom America was discovered?" 
The class was silent for a moment. Then a voice answered, "Americus Ves­pucius, in 1776." 
"No, stupid," the professor roared. The class trembled. Several incorrect 

guesses  were  hazarded.  Finally Jethro  
spoke.  
JANUARY  1948  

"America was discovered," he said casually, "by Christopher Columbus on October 12, 1492." 
A collective gasp of admiration and astonishment came from the class. 
"I think you are"going to be very hap­py here, young man," said Dr. Bloat, delighted to have received the correct answer to the question for the first time in his career. 
After the class was dismissed a pert young blonde, listing a bit to the left under the weight of platinum and dia­mond sorority pin, broke through the circle of admiring students. 
"May I drive you to your next class?" she said. "I think it was just wonder­ful the way you showed up all those silly old boys. Of course I'm only driving last year's Packard 'cause my old one's in the shop. . . ." 
Reluctantly taking leave of his new­found friend, Jethro entered the ivy­clad walls of Classical Hall. There he found his English class already assem­bled. The professor was speaking, "... fifteen-minute class theme on "Why I Came to the University." 
Jethro sat down at once and began to write. "Why I came to the University was that not everybody lives in a coun­try where they can go to the University, like I am. ..." 
After avidly reading J ethro's essay, the professor exclaimed excitedly, "Class is dismissed! I must wire this essay to the Atlantic Monthly at once! It will make all current anthologies obsolete! It may even make the Ranger!" 
That evening after an informal din­ner with his dean, Jethro was returning to his quarters when he chanced upon a group of students gathered about the school memorial fountain. In the eerily flickering torchlight a darj;:-cloaked char­acter was haranguing the students from his vantage point on the head of a bronze horse which was spewing liquid from its nose in a most revolting manner. 
"We have nothing to lose but our chain's! We have a world to win! Work­ers Unite!" shouted the man, giving a clenched-fist salute. 
"Unite," echoed the students. J ethro grasped the situation at once. Leaping up beside the speaker, he snatched the torch and held it above his head like Liberty's · own. 
"Four-score and seven years ago our forefathers brought forth on this conti­nent a new nation, conceived in liberty. But already the clanking of the chains of slavery can be heard on the fields of Lexington and Concord. I know not what course others may take, but as for me, I regret that I have but one life to 
give  for  my  country.  Long  may  she  
wave!"  
A  hoarse  shout  of  approval  burst  

from the throats of the multitude. J ethro 

figure slunk away towards the Econom­ics Building. 
An hour later Jethro was carried to his dormitory on the shoulders of a group of students who chanted, "Piggy for President!" 
The following night, after a quiet evening of conversation with a few dis­tinguished faculty members, Jethro was accosted by a sultry blonde wearing a gleaming black satin evening gown, who stepped from the dark recesses of a mas­sive Dusenburg. 
Beckoning to him mysteriously, she whispered in his ear huskily, "Here, Big Boy, something for you." She dis­appeared in a puff of petrol fumes. 
Homer looked down at his palm. In it lay a Slop-Up, popular campus candy bar. Smelling a rat, he quickly opened the wrapper, tossed its contents down his gullet in a gulp, and read the note scribbled in purple lipstick inside the wrapper. Cryptically it stated: 
IGMA STIGMATA 
announces 
CLIQUE MEETING TONIGHT!!! 
Your presence is requested. 

R. S. V. P. Just then a heavy black sedan drew to the curb. A burly footman opened the door and neatly tripped Jethro into 
the 	back seat. Blindfolded and nearly, (Continued on Page 26) 

continued his speech. The dark-cloaked "Layne is a family man. E thics, you know, even in football" 
TEXAS RANGER 

PHARMACY STUDENTS must spend many hours in lab with the bottles, memorizing jaw-breaking drug names. 
• FIFTH OF A VOCATIONAL SERIES 


LAST year two determined young men decided that if 
the College of Pharmacy were ever to get a new build­ing, or any building at all, somebody had better start doing something about it. So Mark Jones and Mike Gazis, Pharmacy assemblymen, turned out to be the somebodies. 
Mark and Mike hit on the idea of calling on President 
T. S. Painter once a week--every Friday afternoon-to ask him how and when they would get a building and if they could do anything to help the project along. 
They didn't quite make it every Friday, but their almost­weekly missions number more than they care to remember. 

BY 


JAMES 
VACHULE 

Photos by ¥1oody 
PHARMACISTS must also learn which mixtures produce satisfied customers and which produce corpses. 




'.l'he purpose of their visits, to procure a new building, is the fondest hope and the first and last theught in the minds of pharmacists from the freshest freshman to newly­appointed Dean Henry M. Burl'lge. 
Transplanted in 1927 to Austin from Galveston, where it was a part of the med school, and finally nailed down for good here only last year, the College of Pharmacy, because of the uncertainty of location and small enrollment, has nev-er had a building of its own. It didn't even acquire autonomy until it came to Austin and began expansion of its curricula from two to four years. 
This expansion is viewed by Dr. G. C. Albers, who joined the faculty before the College was moved from Galveston, as the greatest milestone in the history of the College. But Dr. Albers agrees with Dean Burlage and other faculty members that an even more significant milestone is to be passed soon with the inauguration of graduate work. 
A committee has been appointed to study the request for an MS degree with majors in pharmacy, pharmaceutical. chemistry and analysis, and pharmocognosy. In his outline for a future program Dean Burlage has included plans for specialization in hospital pharmacy, retail pharmacy, phar­maceutical journalism, veterinary pharmacy, and research. But, says the Dean, everything hinges on a TIElW building, including our capacity to draw outstanding men here as faculty members. 
Speaking of his staff, Dean Burlage says six new faculty members have been added since last year but that' there is a d.efinite . need for more, especially men holding Ph.D. degrees. 
The College of Pharmacy, though scattered from the Bi~l­ogy building to antiquated B hall has its headquarters in 
' ' 

the basement of the Chemistry Building, where the deans office, a storeroom, and two labs are located. Additional space to care for the postwar overflow of 739 students has 
been allotted  to  the college  in. two  of the  tempor~ry pre­ 
fabs, X Hall and C.P. Hall.  ·  
JANVARY 1948  


DAVID GR~ENBERG, pharmacy instructor and winner of the Kilmer ~ 
DR. ·c. C. ALBERS, associate professor of pharmacognosy, chac\:' 
Award in Phaqnacognosy, in his research lab. 
ing the results of 'an experiment. 
0 








Over in C.P. Hall instructor Joe Nash is busy setting up equipment for a new pha~·macology lab. Mr. Nash says, "We need this lab badly. . . . It will enable us to see the effect on animals of the crude drugs studied in pharma­cognosy." Students can acquire a much better understanding of the effects of a drug if they can see how it reacts on animals of different 'characteristics, he says. 
Last spring, passers-by paused to observe and chuckle at a cartoon posted on the door of a basement room in the Journalism Building. The cartoon depicted two mothers attending a College of Pharmacy graduation ceremony. Said one to the other, "My son won first prize in sandwich making!" Behind that same door in a room scarcely larger than a closet, instructor David Gre<mberg was in the process of winning a prize of a serious nature-"A Quantitative and Qualitative Evaluation of Official and Texas Species of '.syllium Seeds and Their Mucilages." Mr. Greenberg's work . 10 proving Texas psyllium seeds equal if not superior to all o~her known species is commercially important to the state smce the seed is used by the ton in medicine cosmetics hair
d . ' ' 
ressmg, and in the textile industry. ~r. Greenberg and Dr. Alpers make frequent trips to vari~us parts of the state in search of plants that may ~~msh them with some new crude drug to be studied in armacognosy. 
No picture of the College of Pharmacy is complete with­~tu\w. F. Gidley, the dean and guiding hand from the time ~ ecame autonomous until Dean Burlage took over in pep~ember. Mr. Gidley, who once taught his successor at s:.r ue University, requested to be relieved from the dean­s Ipt~ome two years ago. Pharmacy students are quick' to aYyh. at he is their favorite lecturer. This spot he has won
b
IS f · ' 
gr h re mng manner and dry, witty remarks. Mimeo­st:dp ed copies of his lecture notes, which he distributes to ents are t · t
' punc uate? with puns and humorous commen s. 
(Continued on Page 37) 
TEXAs RANGER 


Dean Henry M. Burlage 
Ex-Dean ¥1. F. Gidley 



Depwe 

OVERCROWDING has become quite a problem in Gregory Gym, graph of a recent basketball game was snapped by Stanley Hurrell, not only for the spectators but for the sportsmen. This candid photo-only a few minutes-after the second touchdown. 
TEXAS 71, VAT 69 

; "Basketball gets more complicated every year," we heard someone muttering at Gregory Gym the othet'night. The flabby-muscled Ranger staff queried further into this statement, found that what spec­tators need _is a diagram (right) enabling them to better follow the sport. 
We were told that the unlimited substitute rule 
0 

is -partially responsible. When someone taps Coach Jack Gray on the shoulder during the game, he invariably says, "OK-go on in." And the other coaches have been taking advantage of Gray's gener­osity to allow their own athletes a little more practice. 
Then too, the overlapping of the seasons causes part of the trouble. Participants are allowed on the gym floor in accordance with a rigid schedule care­fully guarded by the gatekeeper, a cousin of D. X. Bible. The Ranger learned that this man had stepped downstairs, ostensably to ransack the lockers, just before this picture was snapped. 
The diagram shows exactly what happened in a few action-packed minutes. When the drum major 
(14) blew her whistle, the cowboy (8) started march­ing toward the basket. This so unnerved the Long­horn forward (22) that .he dribbled momentarily. Seeing his chance, the referee (11) eased toward the door. But before the baseball player (13) knocked out the trombone player's brains (77), the fencer (29) ran through a number of people, and the tumbler (61) scored two points. 
You should have been there. 

20 JANUARY 1948 




INTER 

e With a wild and brassy climax "Two O'Clock Jump" came to an end. The bandleader wiped the sweat from his face, acknowledged a small round of applause, and announced an intermis­sion. The musicians put away their in­struments and music, took off their coats, wiped their faces, and left the band­stand. The couples who had been whirl­ing with frantic enthusiasm walked back to their tables, exhausted. The boys had loosened theil' ties and opened their col­lars. Their shirts were wet with per­spiration. The girls were perspiring, too, and it began to show on their make­up. 
Howard Stevenson leaned back in his chair and yawned. There was cigarette smoke drifting about in the yellow and orange light from the low ce-iling. Even a typical little freshman brunette at the next table was smoking. She held her cigarette proudly and pretended to en­joy it, gesturing with it as she talked. ''.Why should I be tired, Bob?" she was saying. "Why I've never had a better time in my life!" 
Howard looked at his own. date, and she was smoking a cigarette too. She was doing it calmly and gracefully, and she seemed far away. Barbara had a way of doing things that made her dif­ferent. 
The two other couples were comin_g back to their table now. There was Al with his hand-painted necktie and Joe with his cowboy boots. Their dates wore identical white chiffon dresses patterned with red and green triangles and circles. 
Howard watched the two boys push the chairs under the girls as they sat down. He tried to remember whether Jeanne was the blonde and Mary Anne the brunette, or the other way around. He wondered whether Joe and Al thought the girls looked alike. Probably it had never occurred to them. After all, typ­ical co-eds were as much a traditional part of college life as torchlit football rallies, political campaigns, and sorority formals. 
"All right, everybody!" shouted Al suddenly. "Let's get this show on the road! The evening's still young and we got a long way to go!" He reached for the half-empty bottle of bourbon, held it up, and looked around. 

"Who wants some?" 
The triangle-and-circle girls shook their heads, but Joe held out his glass. Al poured it half full. "Thanks, pal," said Joe. "This is my medicine for a hot night!" "Well, don't forget-it ain't Social­ized Medicine! Who else wants some?" 
"I'll take some, please," said Barbara and passed her glass to Al. The tri­angle-and-circle girls exchanged glances. 
Howard looked at his glass. It was still full, but the ice had melted. He reached for the bowl of crushed ice, dropped a few pieces in his glass, and stirred them with his spoon. 
What a way to spend an evening, he 
thought. You sit around a table and drink and sweat, and then you take your date into that jostling crowd and try to dance to discordant music. It just didn't appeal to hi111 anymore. He'd gone to all the football games, dances, picnics, and parties. He'd been in on all the bull sessions and made the same time-worn wisecracks everyone else made. It didn't appeal to him any more, but there was nothing he could do about it. He couldn't even get interested in his studies. Who the hell cared about Fiduciary Accounting and Budgetary Control. And who the hell wanted to spend the rest of his life in a monoto­nous office juggling statistics and ac­counts for stockholders and tax collec­(Continued on Page 34) 
A SHORT STORY BY W. PAUL STRASSMAN 

TEXAS RANGER 
21 


Felder, Austin 

Pert Nelda Hand, RANGER'S December Girl of the Month, in a delightful forecast of Spring I Beou­tifu\\y-detoiled Swonsdown suit of pure worsted glen plaid by Miron, featuring full hemline skirt 
Miss Hand's hot is a Vero Whistler original of 
shiny block Saturn straw, with open crown. Cos­
tume and accessories from our exclusive selection 
of Co-ed rnernorables. Classic patent pumps, cour­
tesy of Leon's, Austin. 

A RANGER POLL BY TONY GUERRA 

e Like so many other questions, the problem of final·exam­inations has its pro and con. Outstanding educators and psychologists throughout the country have made extensive studies and reports on the question. Th.e Range?', in cooper­ation with the Student Opinion Survey, conducted a poll among the student body on the following three questions : "What do you think should be the purpose of final examina­tions?", "Should final examinations be given in all courses?" and "Should every student in a class be requirec! to take a final examination regardless of his av,erage in the course?" 
e On the first question, of the 213 women interviewed 46.31;-10 said that the purpose of final examinations should be to test the knowledge of a course. In the second question 78.5% of 121 women polled said that final examinations should not be given in all courses, and in the third question, of the same 1,21 women polled 58.7% said that not all students should be required to take final examinations. 
e Of the 396 men polled, 45.9% said that the purpose of final 


"Un_doubtedly the top 10 to 15% of the students in many 
.courses could be exempt from finals with little or no change in their term grades. However, changing the old fashioned final examination would take a good 
deal of organization, and it is doubtful that those depart­ments without even the leisure to make up new departmental exams each year will ever find the time." Jack Skaggs, Chief Justice of the Student Court. 


"I am not in favor of final exams in their existing form. Trends in the history of our American education show that our schools must change with our changing society. The first 
purpose of exams was to help the teacher know how much she was teaching her students. They have long since lost this purpose, and in their present existing form test how much a student can 'cram' the night or two before the exam." Mary Jim Jones, junior s1>eech education major. 


"I am in favor of final exam­inations, but not as they are handled now. A final examina­tion gives the student a chance to review his course and relate the material he has studied all 
semester. However, I do not think so much stress should be placed on the final, and that an exemption method should be worked out. Finals should be for the purpose of helping the student, and not for hurt­ing his semester's work." Frances Nichols, Arts & Sciences Assemblywoman. 
examinations should be to test the knowledge of a course. Out of 407 men 74.4 % said that final examinations should not be given in all courses, and of 406 men polled on the third question, 60.6% were against all students being re­quired to take final exams. 
e A total of 519 men and women were polled on the first question and 46.5'% said that the purpose of final examina­tions should be to test the knowledge of a course. On the second question 528 students said that 75.3% of them were against final examinations being given in all courses, and in the last question out of 527 students interviewed 60.2% said that not all students should be required to take final examinations. 
• The results: the majority of students interviewed think that final examinations should be to test the knowledge gained in a course, they think that final examinations should not be given in all courses, and they also think that some students should be exempt from taking final examinations. 

."Unfortunately, yes. In our under-staffed University, a con­scientious well-qualified profes­sor cannot adequately gauge the quality or quantity of the work done by a large number of stu­

dents, without using some arti­ficial means such as the final exam-which is a mockery of learning, and at best a poor substitute for personal knowl­edge of the student and his ability." James S. Mahon, pres­ident of Tejas Club. 

"Final examinations are very worthwhile and should definite­ly be given when they present the student with an opportunity to summarize a course in its entirety and over-all meaning to 

him. However, they are not worthwhile when they continue to stress small fragments of the whole course, the good grade dependent on memory work and the ability to 'parrot' a teacher's notes." Evelyn Gertz, president of Panhellenic. 

"If the instructor does not know after four months what the student has learned, then three more hours of rote mem­ory work is not a very accurate indication; and it is very doubt­

.ful if the student retains as per­manent knowledge very much of that which he crammed on for finals. Term papers or problems would, I think, be a very definite asset to both the faculty and student, but finals, as we know them, are of little value to either." Ken Cochran, president of Campus Guild. 
JANUARY 1948 


BE THRIFTY 
BUY YOUR BOOKS AND SUPPLIES 
FROM YOUR OWN STORE 

/ 
• 

Save your cash register receipts-turn them in during Dead Week in May and shore in the savings, paid in cash during exam period in May. 
• 

20 /~ dividend hos been paid lost five years. Ask for convenient envelope to keep your re­ceipts in. 
• 


@UNIVERSITY CO-OP8
Ir 

Operated by Students and Faculty for mutual benefit 
TEXAS RANGER specialists in the Examination of the Eyes and the Fitting of Glasses. 

Where the Students 
Get Their Glasses 

Fer your winter and spring pleasure 
WE'RE 
dancing 
happy to offer Name Bands ... Sammy Kaye, Desi Arnez, Dean Hudson, Chuck 
Foster, Van Kirkpatrick, each 

GIVING 
you an evening's entertainment find hard to beat. You save 

MONEY 
by buying the best. Buy a band us and chase your worries 


AWAY! 
You just can't beat· quality! Tom McElroy 
you'l l 
from 


"You'd think he surely would give us a walk today." 


JETHRO PIGSTY 

(Continued from Page 17) suffocated from the position of the foot­man's foot in his teeth, Piggy rode through the devious byways of the city. 
The car drew to a stop. Looking un­der the blindfold as the footman dragged him up the stairs by his ankles, Jethro perceived a row of liveried servants lined up along the entrance hall of th~ Igma Stig House. 
Jethro was pushed through a door and his blind-fold removed. He was in a smoke-filled back room. Surrounded by his henchmen in blue pin-stripes and saddle shoes sat th'e Boss, aggressively jangling a loaded key-chain. 
"Piggy," snarled the blue-jowled boss, 
flashing a fanged campaign smile, "we'll 
give it to youse straight. If youse run 
for Student President against the Clique, 
we ain't got no chanct. Either youse 
run on the Greek slate or we'll have to 
give youse the woiks." 
"Yeah?" replied Piggy subtly. Sud­
denly his massive fist lashed out. Single­
handed Piggy took on the brass-knuckled 
flower of Clique manhood. 
At the Health Service next morning, 
while being treated for a slight cut 
above the left eye, Piggy was inter­
viewed by Spike Scooper, ace i;eporter 
of the Texan. 
"Mr. Pigsty," said Spike, adjusting 

his tie in the mirror, "haven't the events of the last few days seemed fantastic, unreal, and a little bit dream-like? Just answer 'yes' or 'no'." 
"Well," replied Piggy impressively, "to tell the truth, I had a pretty good idea of what it would be like before I came...." _:_THE END 

86169 




SPECTATOR 
(Continued from Page 15) 

Shortly before the departure of Me­whinney, Hart Stilwell began contribut­ing regularly to the Spectator. Before coming_to Austin, Stilwell was editor of
I
I the Brownsville Herald. He has been do­ing free-lance writing for many years, and his latest book, Uncovered Wagon, was published recently by Doubleday. Stilwell was a night editor on The Daily Texan in 1922 at the same time Young was a reporter. He is not a member of the staff, but contributes his weekly column .free. He has at least two pet hates-the Henry Luce publications and the present administration of the University-but he always states his views in a take-it­or-leave-it manner. In a recent article, he suggested a new school for Austin. 
"What I want to see is a univer­sity, even if it is only a vacant lot, where men such a!! J. Frank Dobie can meet with students who are anx­ions to learn. I want to see a Uni­versity where young writers can meet with older writers who have never learned to bend the knee, where journalism students can meet with experienced newspapermen who do not think the Chicago Tribune is a great newspaper and the As­sociated Press the chosen agency of God.••. 
We teach young people how ' to write and sell advertising. I think this is wrong. We should teach them how tQ struggle against the growing influence of advertising on the news, on the public mind. 
We teach them the tricks of pub­licity. We should, instead, teach them how to detect and avoid publicity. 
We teach them how to write what are called colorful leads on stories. But when all leads are colorful the result is uniform dullness. 
We teach them to measure the stature of a newspaper by the lines 1of classified advertising it carries, and they go to work for the Dallas News and think everything is fine. 
Then when a real story breaks in Texas, it isn't covered." The only paid staff members, other 

than Young, are Bob Eckhardt and Henry Fox, also University exes. 
Eckhardt draws the cover cartoons which he signs Jack-a-Diamonds, and Fox mails in his syndicated column, The Navasot Philosopher. 
Eckhardt was editor of the Ranger in 1936-1937 and did quite a bit of cartooning then. One of his cartoons is 


still in the Ranger office, probably in the same spot where he left it. He is now an Austin attorney and very active among local liberals. His ability to caricature politicians an_d other public figures is well suited to the irreverent attitude of 

the Spectator and provides a neat wrap­2404 Guadalupe ping for the package. 
JANUARY 1948 


Fox spent two years at the University before going to work for a Texas news­paper. It was while working in east Tex­as that he began his column written in the language of a shrewd but uneducated Texas farmer who masks his common sense in a shroud of bland naivete. The Navasot Philosopher has an unerring ability to pick the wheat from the chaff in matters which reach his attention in old newspapers fished from the Nava­sota River. 
His first column for the Spectator, written in November, 1945, contained among other things these two para­graphs: · 
"... I understand President Tru­man ain't gonna get no degree from Baylor University until he stops drinkin and playin poker or the newspapers stops mentionin it and while I per!lonally ain't no graduate of Baylor myself, I know some men in town who are and what I want to know is if thousands of other Baylor graduates is anything like the ones I know in tastes and recreation habits while otherwise bein ordinary gentlemen, what are they gonna do with the degree they already got? Baylor is liable to be swamped· with degrees bein returned on account of some folks has peculiar tastes, which I personally think is a shame and liquor is too high anyway. While I aip't no Baptist myself, I sympathize with em and would like to suggest they not get too all-fired positive about turning out any member from the president on down who drinks or plays poker, as any church ought to ha've at least a quorum left.... 
I notice the new cars are out but they won't tell you what the price is. You just go ahead and buy one and find out later what it costs. It's just like gettin married." 
(Continued on next page) 
',~!, ~~~­
-=­
~ 

AS YOU LIKE IT­
• 	
The material-You choose from our exten­sive collection of qual­ity goods. 

• 	
The style-you select from our pages that offer the latest in mas­culine design. 

• 	
The suit-is tailored to your specifications and combines all the fea­tures you've been seek­ing. 


The best dressed men 

on campus keep coming 
to Norwood's. 
CUSTOM-TAILORED 
FROM $52.50 


S. 	V. 1Vorwood ·and Son 
2548 Guadalupe 
ON THE DRAG 
TEXAS RANGER 


The college man of today wants quality! Sub­standard merchandise ... so prevalent during the era of shortages is taboo! When men buy suits, from now on, they will demand good tailor­ing, good styling, good fit . . . but above all, 100 % all wool fabrics. 
If you really want to enjoy a suit ... have it tailored to fit your particular measurements. Each button is correctly fitted to allow freedom of movement and a smooth fitting appearance. Each seam is double-sewn to give longer wear . ... You can't go wrong with a hand-tailored suit from Schwartz. 


CUSTOM TAILORS 
LOUIS N. ROSE 
Phone 4945 609 Brazos 

SPECTATOR 

(Continued from Page 29) 
Fox now lives near Taylor and mails his syndicated column to the Spectator and to other publications. 
It is Young, however, who does the lion's share of the work on the paper. Each week, he decides what should fill the fourteen pages between the front­page Jack a-Diamonds cartoon and the sixteenth-page Navasot Philosopher col­umn in order to give the customers their fifteen cents worth. 
He writes a large portion of the copy himself, and is usually concerned with sketching in the background of news in Texas papers. 
Harold Ross, editor of the New Yorker, who like Harold Young, seems to be responsible ,only to himself in the pub­lishing business says, "All I know about getting out a magazine is to print what you like-or as near what you like as you can get. If enough readers think as you do, you"re a success; if not, you're a failure." 
The Svectator has almost failed twice. The first time was in February of last year when Reed's original $30,000 had all been poured into the paper. Young then undertook a campaign among sub­scribers to raise $8,000--enough money estimated to continue the rest of the year. This "Blood Bank" was to consist of cash donations and subscription money. There was q~ite a rallying-round of subsl!rib­ers, for, in a month, the circulation doubled (1,900 to 3,800) and the Svec­tator had $9,100 in its till. 
But the money did not stretch quite as far as anticipated, and in August Young made plans to cease publication. 'He had promised subscribers that no further campaign would be made. So when the money ran low,. a list was prepared show­ing the amount owed each subscriber, and the paper got ready to pay off and quit. 
It was at this point that Jack Carter, 
Fort Worth attorney and former head 
of the Young Democrats of Texas, vol­
unteered to try to keep the Svectator 
alive. He toured the state, talking to a 
number of subscribers in Texas towns 
containing the most readers -Austin, 
Houston, Fort Worth, Dallas, San An­
tonio, Denton, and Borger. 
His one-man campaign resulted in 
the formation of Spectator Associates, 
an unincorporated group of interested 

"Now see what you've made of yourself!" 
JANUARY 1948 




KRUGER'S 

YOUR SILVER CENTER 
ON THE DRAG 
37 STERLING PATTERNS 
• 
WALLACE GORH/\M ALV IN HEIRLOOM INTERNAT IONAL LUNT WHITING MANCHESTER 
6 PC. PLACE SETTING 
FROM 

$22.63 




KRUGER'S 

o./ cou!Ue 

2236 GUADALUPE 
Owned and Operated 
By 
TEXAS EXES 


readers who in effect guaranteed to sub­
sidize the paper for a year. The Spec­
tator set its minimum operating ex­
pense at $1,000 a month, and readers 
agreed to furnish this amount for one 
year. J. Frank Dobie is chairman of 
Spectator Associati'!s. No single contribu­
tion was more than $100, and most were 
from loyal readers intensely interested 
in keeping the paper alive. 
This second transfusion has boosted 

Young's hope for success. But money, no 
matter how patiently supplied by loyal 
readers, will not keep the Spectator alive 
indefinitely. It's most serious trouble 
seems to be that, at a time when the 
liberals in Texas are searching for a lead­
er, it has never discovered how to be the 
real voice of the group. 
This may be because it has never been 

clear in pointing out the real needs of 
the liberals. 
Or it may be that it has never given 

the liberals a solid platform which they 
can translate into political effectiveness. 
Or it may b that its subtlety of style 

has a very limited appeal among earthy 
Texans. 
Or it may be that customers just don't 

thin.k they get their fifteen cents worth. 
The Spectator has been criticized by some dissatified readers in its letters­to-the-editors column, but seldom with such finality as one subscriber last sum­mer. 
Sir: 
Seldom have I come across so 

·many errors in fact and interpreta­
tion as were found in your article. 
... After having read this job of 
irresponsible reporting, I question 
everything that I have read in your 
magazine, but on one point there is 
no question-whether or not to re­
new my subscription. Drop it. 
The Spectator's highest circulation 

figure was reached last May when sub­scriptions totalled 4,000 and newsstand sales 500. Very few newsstands outside Austin will handle the paper because of its limited sales appeal. 
Texas lawyers compo.se the largest reader group. Approximately 500 Uni­versity students and faculty members subscribe. 
It is now printed at Long Publications, Inc., an Austin job printing shop owned partly by Young's wife. 
The Spectator almost died premature­ly when it was saddled with the term, "campaign paper," during the 1946 gov­ernor's race. Although it was started in October, 1945, the Spcetator's active part in recomrnending Homer P. Rainey to its readers caused many to believe the paper would fold after the election. 
While· looking through the window at Texas and its citizens for more than two years, the Spectato1· has squeezed in a variety of features. Such articles have been printed as "A Capitalist Looks at Labor" by Cyrus Eaton, Cleveland bank­er; Spending, Saving-and Employment, 
(Continued on Page 33) 

For Parties • • • 'Danees .•. Graduation 
WHEN YOU WANT THE RIG HT FLOWER 
FOR THE RIGHT GIRL .. . LET 
DOLLY MAUD E HARRIS 
HELP YOU MAKE YOUR SELECTION. 

FLOWERS ARRIVE FRESH DAILY 
FOR EVERY OCCASION. 
FOR FLOWERS AT 
THE LAST MINUTE... . 
SEE YOUR UNIVERSITY FLORIST. 

UNIVERSITY 


'Jlo7.lit 
"WE WIRE FLOWERS" 

Phone 23"8 Guadalupe 3594 

FINE CLOTHES 

DESERVE 
Good treatment 
TAKE CARE 
of your wardrobe by having it cleaned regularly with painstaking methods 
Try our special process for formals 
CALL 3847 
FOR DELIVERY SERVICE 



LODGHORO 

CLEANERS 
2538 Guadalupe 

TEXAS RANGER 

In Your Own Home 
Learn to Speak Another Language 



by LINGUAPHUNE 
'This amazingly simple method trains you to speak, read and write another lan­guage in the shortest possible time. You hear the voices of six to nine native teachers. They re peat to you as often as you desire. You learn by LISTEN ING. 
It's as fascinating 
as learning a new song! 

Endorsed by educators, used in thou­
sands of schools and by more than a 
million home-study students. 


·. 
Speak Spanish or 
Portuguese German 
French Russian 
Chinese Italian 
Norwegian Japanese 
Or any of 21 other languages 
• 

J. R. Reed Music Co. 

SINCE 1901 
805 CONGRESS AVE. 
Phone 3531 



"Waldo! Crush me in your arms!" 
"She aays it cheers everybody up just to be reminded of Dentyne Chewing Gum's delicious good taste-and the way Dentyne helps keep teeth white makes it really worthwhile to smile!" 
Dentyne Gum-Made Only By Adams 
32 JANUARY 1948 
SPECTATOR 

(Continued from Page 31) 

excerpts from a book by H. Gordon Hayes, professor of economics, Ohio State University; and foreign news analyses by Richard Watts Jr., New York Post staff writer, and Darrell Ber­rigan, commissioned by the Saturday 
· Evening Post to report from China. In addition, the Spectator has often been the only Texas publication to print letters and speeches of possible future historical significance, such as the Hen­ry Wallace speech in Austin last spring, and the recent D. B. Klein letter to Dr. Painter. Recently it printed the following NAM excerpt: "Henry Ford entered the automo­bile busines& with $200 earned by selling the first car he made, with his own hands. His company grew to a giant out of earnings. .. No man, starting in 1947, can re­prQ<luce the tremendous success of Henry Ford. The power to accumu­late is nullified by the collector. Today, taxes are one of the main ob­stacles.... National Association of Manufacturers 
Not to mention Ford Motors, Gen­eral Motors, and the Chrysler Corporation. 

The Spectator is not the first Texas publication to wander away from the most profitable, standardized path of journalistic endeavor. BTann's I cono­clast in Waco at the first of the 1900's was a free spirit if there ever was one. The Iconoclast, however, was a great deal more vitriolic than the Spectator. 
Brann was eventually shot in the back. on a Waco street, but it is doubtful if Young will ever provoke his readers to commit mayhem. Those whom he at­tacks as being most un-Ghristlike in their public dealings seem never to be disturbed. The liberals, after all, are not considered a very potent force in Texas, so his targets choose to ignore him. 
The paper has never been sued for libel; however, a good part of the rea­son may be because of its dissimilarity to the Humble Oil Company in cash on hand. 
Although it now has enough money from readers to last another year, the future of the Spectator is still very un­certain. If more and more liberals be­gin clustering around the paper, it may eventually get a firmer toe-hold. 
The first editorial concluded with this quotation: 
"If not, the dry bones littered by the way May still point giants toward their golden prey." 
-THE END 


PRESENTS 

LONGHORN THROW RUGS The famous Longhorn throw rug, an exclusive Saegert item, is in traditional orange and white of narrow gauge, short tt1fted make, from cotton grown in your own back yard. Made in Texas by Texans. Special designs available to order. 
30 x 50 -$14.50 36 x 60 -$16.50 
A SAEGERT SPECIAL 
FLUORESCENT BED LAMP 
A real light for hours of leisure study without eye­strain. Convenient and perfect for dormitory use. Com­plete with 8-watt bulb for: 

Saegert Bros., home of Majestic Radio, Mighty Monarch of the Air, also features study furniture, electric appliances of all kinds to add to the comfort of College. 

YOUR CAMPUS FURNITURE STORE 
1710 La-vaca Phone 9409 
TEXAS RANGER 


'~/~~~fr~~-­
,. ;;; r·j. ~'*--?f: J -~V ~.J_.,,, 
rt ~ , . 

~~ Pure gabardine I OO o/o wool. .. .

'j )-';::,,:
'. ~"::"~'·'.'"'. 

brilliantly accented with those 

: l~~: 
style details so widely acclaimed 
:: . in the new fashion mode. 
In the loveliest 
spring tones. 

2322 Guadalupe 

"We ser-viC:e all makes" P. K. WILLIAMS NASH CO. "On the Avenue" CONGRESS AT SECOND  8-4688  

INTERMISSION 

(Continued from Page 21) 
tors? Not Howard Stevenson, he sup­posed, but what difference would that make? 
He was still stirring his drink. The ice was melting fast. Howard laid his spoon aside and took a few sips. Bar­bara was lighting another cigarette. 
Al had just finished telling a funny story, and the others were leaning back in their chairs, laughing. Al smiled modestly and mixed himself another drink. He looked up and saw that How­ard and Barbara had not been listening. 
"Say, you bum, why so glum?" he said loudly. "You getting exiled to Si­beria or Alaska?" 
"And what's the matter with Alaska? Ever been there?" Howard said. "That's not what I mean. I mean-" 
"Alaska is all right. Sure, it's cold in winter, but the summers are fine. And you've never seen such scenery-mountains with glaciers and snow .. . forests ... clear streams with fish ..." 
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Howard Stevenson of the Chamber of Commerce!" said Al, standing up cere­moniously. "Spe~ch!" The triangle-an<l­circle girls tittered, and Al was pleased. 
Howard sipped his drink and said nothing. "I'd like to hear more about Alaska, Howard," said Barbara. 
"Were you there during the war?" 
"No, during the war I was in Europe. This was before the war. I worked up there one summer. A friend of my father's-he was connected with this construction company-he got me the job." 
"What kind of job was.it, Howard?" 
"We were surveying for the govern­ment. They were going to build a road connecting the Fairbanks-Anchorage highway to the coast near Ellamer. We started at Copper Center in June and tried to find the best route south through the Chugach Mountains." 
"Do many people live there?" 
"Not when we were there. It was nothing but mountains, forests, and more mountains. No one around for miles but the four of us. At night someone al­ways had to stay up by a fire outside the tent and stand watch. Otherwise there'd be bears coming around to prowl." 
Howard thought it over. "Well, don't know," he said after a while, "I hear quite a few veterans have settled in the Chugach foothills and in the Copper River . valley. Of course, it's rough living for a young wife used to hot and cold running water. Out there you're on your own and by yourself. It's just the two of you, and at times it gets a little rough." 
A tall blonde in an amber, drape.­sleeved dress came to their table and 

34 JANUARY 1948 
smiled brightly. "Hello, hello, every­body!" she said in a loud, singing voice. "How're you all doing? Isn't the music and everything wonderful tonight? Our table's over t9ere and you all have got to come over! Jack Hale's th.ere now, and is he ever a scream!! Will you come? Don't forget now! Bye!" Still smiling, she turned around and waved to a group of people sitting at a corner table. Then she rushed off in another direction. 
Howard thought she must be one of those girls with a good personality. That meant she talked all the time. 
"... But it must be worthwhile for 

those who go there," said Barbara slow­
ly. She had tilted her head back and 
was looking at the ceiling. From her 
cigarette a thin stream of smoke rose 
and mingled with the slow, fog-like 
masses of smoke drifting along the 
ceiling. 
Howard thought about Alaska. It had been a long time, but he could still re­member how crisp a flickering camp fire could be, and how warm and contented a guy could feel in a good leather jacket. But in the noise and confusion of a crowded nightclub it was hard ';~think about the sound of wind in far-away pines and the vast silence of mountains. Howard finished the rest of his drink with one long swallow. 
With a sudden blast of trumpets, the band began a rumba. The intermission was over. Al, Joe, their triangle-and-· circle girls, and couples everywhere, stood up and struggled through barri­cades of tables and chairs. Howard watched them go. He reached for the bottle of bourbon, poured some in his glass, and drank it straight. He felt it burn inside. Then it settled and became a warm, pleasant glow. He listened to the music. It sounded pretty good. 
"Come on, Barbara," he said. "Let's go dance." -THE END 


a wide variety
if it is 


of well-cooked and pleasant­
ly served food that you want 

1s really reason­able prices that you seek in these days of high costs and meager portions 
if you wont the place 
where you eat conveniently located near school or down­town shopping center 

then___ 
the answer to all your quests is 
TWO AIR-CONDITIONED 


MILAM CAFETERIAS 

CONVENIENTLY LOCATED 21ST AND WICHITA 8TH AND CONGRESS 
"Step down, please." 

TEXAS RANGER 
IT'S A PLEASURE 


To open your drawer and find a stack of fresh, ~moothly finished shirts by the Austin Laundry. We launder them care­fully so that they last long and look well. 
Save with the 15% cash-carry discount Campus Location-21st & Wichita 


It may not satisfy the mathematicians, but the married couple with nine chil­dren is ample proof that one and one make eleven. -Sundial. 
Huckinmire-"Terribly sorry you bur­
ied  your wife  yesterday."  
Vandercleave-"Had  to ­ dead  you  
know."  
"Well, Doc,  was  my  operation  a  suc­ 

cess?" "Sorry, old man, I'm Saint Peter." -Chapparal. 


An eldedy lady driving along non­chalantly, turned a corner and ran over a poor inebriate crossing the street. Without change of emotion, she stopped the car and rolled down the window and called, "You had better watch out there, young man." 
Rising on one elbow, the drunk said: "God, lady, don't tell me you are gonna back up." 

"And have you noticed how my little Fanny has grown?" 
An absent minded grave digger dug the hole so deep that he couldn't get out. Came nightfall and the evening chill, his predicament became more and more uncomfortable, his cries for help at la~t attracted the attentio.n of a passing drunk. 
"Get me out of here," he shouted. "J'm cold." 
The drunk looked into the grave and finally distinguished the form of the un­comfortable grave digger. 
"No wonder you're cold," he said, "you haven't any dirt on you." 


'VARIETY-
FnR SCHOOL OR DATES 

Drop in to look over our as­sortment of skirts for every occasion. You can choose from either flared, semi-flared, or straight styles. You'll like the many lovely shades. 

ON THE DRAG 
2516 Guadalupe 82798 

Policeman: "Where ·are you going in such a hurry?" 
Student: "I just bought a new text­book and I'm trying to get to class be­fore they change the edition." 
She: "How dare you! Papa said he would kill the first man who kissed me." He: "How interesting. Did he do it?" -Record. 



PHARMACY 

(Continued from Page 19) Mr. Girley says they aren't humorous at all; nevertheless he thinks they keep the students awake and reading. They agree. Typical is his advice to students on how to procure a human kidney for study, "Borrow one from your neighbor," or his definition of a black eye, "Some people are born with them, others have to fight for theirs." 
Looking back over his first years with the College (he was with it as a student in Galveston) Mr. Girley recalls that the pharmacists were quartered in a base­ment even then. He points with pride at the ever-increasing enrollment and num­ber of graduates of the College since its authorization by legislative act in 1893. 
Four students graduated in 1895 and in the first thirty-three years a total of 533 degrees were conferred under the two-year plan. This contrasts with a total of 642 graduates since the course was increased to four years in 1932. 
Director of the school in Galveston 

days was Dr. R. R. D. Cline. Known to 
his students as 'Daddy," Dr. Cline also 
held a warm spot in the hearts of young 
pharmacists, and for much the same rea­
son as his successor. Though his jokes 
were sometimes of a more practical na­
ture. Once to discourage students from 
promiscuous use of medicinal alcohol, 
their favorite Saturday-night drink, he 
spiked the stuff with croton oil, a potent 
laxative. Failing to heed the venerable 
Daddy's warning, one bright young 
pharmacist failed to last through the 
first dance that Saturday night. 
In storage at present, because of the 
shortage of space, is a model drug store, 
donated to the College by Fred A Mai­
lander, president of the Mailander Store 
and Bank Equipment Company and Wil­
liam Oschse, president of the San An­
tonio Drug Company. 
Designed to aid instruction in com­
mercial pharmacy, the model store con­
tains medicinal and instrument cases, 
show cases, an ice box, soda fountain, 
and a show window. A wide assortment 
of drug store merchandise and sick room 
equipmept is available for study pur­
poses. The model store would enable 
students to get actual practice in sales­
manship, decoration, advertising, buy­
ing, discounting, inventory, sales slips, 
show-card writing, and air-brush work. 

Part of this equipment is now being set up in the newly-established Pharmacy in B. Hall. Formerly known as the dis­pensary, the Pharmacy will offer pre­scription service to students, at a nomi­nal charge to cover the cost of materials. The prescriptions are compounded by senior students under the supervision of Wm. R. Neville Jr. or one of his assist­ants, who are graduate registered pharrn­icists. 
Before the pharmacy student can work in the dispensary he gets extensive practice in compounding all types of medicines, along with lipsticks, powder, perfume, and other cosmetics. In addi­tion to the pharmacy courses students are given a fundamental grounding in chemistry, physiology, bacteriology, bot­any, math, and the cultural arts. 
Working closely with the College and Dean Burlage on expansion andn modern­ization is the dynamic executive-secretary of the Texas Pharmaceutical Association, Robert G. Dillard. Mr. Dillard confident­ly says, "We are going to build the greatest College of Pharmacy in the world." 
In order to achieve this end he has rallied supp~rt from druggists through­out the state to aid the champaign for a new building and an adequate faculty. "This has been the Association's number­one objective for the last three years," he says. 
Dean Burlage and his staff members agree with Mr. Dillard that the College of Pharmacy, being the only one in the state, has great possibilities. Because of the proximity to Mexico and Latin Amer­ica they visualize a fertile field for study in the numerous undeveloped plants and drugs of our neighbors to the south. 
And here again they will pause to say that a new building is the key to the entire expansion program. Dean Burlage has many points from which to argue. One of his favorites, and he likes to em­phasize it, is that approximately 90 per cent of all UT pharmacy graduates re­main in Texas. He says that he knows of 
(Continued on next page) 



Gut~eaJuu; ~ 


. tJue fl-~p"4ce to 90. 

2116 GUADALUPE 

DOLD IT! 


During the coming semester hold on to those good times with pictures. Call Stanley to photo­graph your party or campus ac­tivity. 


STANLEY 
DEPWE 

2418 Guadalupe Phone 2-2752 

~ai o#o~. !Jti 


TEXAS RANGER 
PHARMACY 

(Continued from Page 37) 

INVITATIONS 
COME FIRST 


And first among all wedding invitations are those that bear the mark of Crane. We invite you to come to us for your invitations and all the papers needed to make your wedding the event it is in your life . .. to give added dignity to your new prefix of "Mrs." 
INFORMAL 
YET CORRECT 


Informals by Crane are a happy combination of correctness and convenience. Ideally suited to all manner of acknowledgments, invi­tations to formal or informal parties and for messages accompanying gifts ... they express your good taste and compliment the recipient. You are invited to see our complete selection. 
von eoEcHmAnn-JonEs co. 

no other school with such a large per­centage of its grads staying in the same state. "Therefore," says the Dean, "it seems that, since professional education is expensive to the state, those who re­main here deserve the very best in equipment and training." 
Though many pharmacy majors are not altogether satisfied with the new program being planned by Burlage, they all agree on one point-yes-a new building. Through their Student As­semblymen they have been beating the drums for a long time and Jimmy Dean and Hernan Alvarez will tell you that many students who planned to graduate in June or August are plenty irked be­cause several of the advanced courses they need are not being taught in the spring semester. 
Dean and Alvarez haven't continued the missions to Administration Head­quarters of their predecessors, but Dean Burlage has. In fact, he says he came here only on the promise of a new build­ing and he intends to get it. 
As things now stand the proposed pharmacy building is very high on the faculty building committee's list of urgent needs that have not already been author­ized by the Board of Regents. Dr. Painter says the building is definitely recognized as a must, but that the time it is built will depend on construction costs and on whether or not the Constitutional building amendment passed last summer is validated by the courts. -THE END 
Mrs. Dracula was having a baby, and Dracula was pacing the hall as nervous­ly and as eagerly as any other father. 
The  nurse  came  in  and  handed  him  a  
little bundle.  
"There  you  are,  Mr.  Dracula,  a  fine  

big baby boy," said the nurse. "You can take him home now." "No, no," said Dracula, "I'll eat him here." -Covered Wagon. 
There was once a butcher named Sutton Whose wife was a glutton for mutton He sneaked up behind her, pushed her 
in the grinder, No Sutton, no glutton, no ·mutton-no nuttin'. 
ON THE COVER 
Final examinations. Ed Andrews, recently voted Ugliest Man on the Campus, finds it hard study­ing for forthcoming finals when there are so many finer things to think about -namely the Ten Pretty Girls of "Time Staggers On." They're Peggy Bullard, Mary Ellen Montgomery, Charlotte Nel­son, Dot Paull, Martha Kilpatrick, Fran­ces Dixon, Billy Faye Johnstone, Pat Smith, Joyce Mcintire, and Betty Bohn­ing. Get your mind back on your books~ Edi 

STATIONERS -PRINTERS 
110 EAST NINTH ST. TELEPHONE 2-1163 
JANUARY 1948 
MERCURY 
LINCOLN 

Convenient, friend(' Service ... 
• 	
Reasonably priced 

• 
. Promptly handled 


· • 	Courteously rendered 
• 	Just four blocks from the heart of downtown Austin 
• 









HOWARD KUHLMAN

' 
Austin's Exclusive Lincoln-Mercury Dealer 
• 501 West Sixth St. Phone 8-9346 
TEXAS RANGER 

Depwe 
' 
MUD, SWEAT and TEARS 

Parked cars create more situations than any­thing. Especially where University students are involved .. Somebody is always getting into a jam And it's usually easier to get in one than out. Al­though with some types of cars-it's easier than with others. 
Look at the pictures on this page. You see what we mean. It sure is a condition, all right. Can't blame the people who park cars. It's the work of Nature-the pictures show that. Nature is bigger than the both of Us. 
Nobody can say we didn't see it coming. Every year at this time (you know the old saw) a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of parking places. Nine months of the year things are fine, everything goes smoothly. But when Nature gets busy there'll be situations like the one pictured here, just as sure as little green apples. 
•
The younger generation is not entirely to blame. Granted, most of the actual damage is theirs. But their elders must share responsibility. Guidance is their duty. They must pave the way. 
We cast a baleful eye at the School Fathers. Into what mire have they let Bewildered Youth fall? Will they be able to cover their folly? Can they fill in what they have neglected? Let us hope that not all is yet lost. Already two Fords, a Chevvy, and seven pairs of saddle oxfords have been. 


We can't figure out whether we're soft­Send your gags, with your name, addres•, hearted or soft-headed. Anyway, Pepsi­school and class, to Easy Money Depart­Cola Company pays up to $15 for jokes, ment, Pepsi-Cola Co., Box A, Long Island gags and stuff like that there for this page. City, N. Y. All contributions become the Below we list some of the characters who property of Pepsi-Cola Co. We pay only hit the jack-pot in Septemher. What have for those we print. (Getting"Pepsi-Cola" they got that yon haven't got? Right­into your joke may not keep that rejec­Easy Money! tion slip from your door. but it might 
So climb on board the gravy train now. help. Who knows? Certainly not us!) 
1 
I I I I I I I I I 1 I 1 I 
LITTLE MORON CORNER 

Dubious Dave "Michaelangelo" ;vtoron, the wo11ld-l1e arti•t who never believeJ what people told hillt, was discovered one day pouring Pepsi-Cola on his paint hoard. "Ther, told me it would tickle my palett e,' he exclaimed, scowling fiercely, "hut so far I haven't heard a si11gle laugh!" 
The two bu.cks for this classic went to William D. Blair, Jr., of Princeton. What conld be simpler, if anything? Send i11 yo1tr Moron gags ... S2 eachfortlwse we buy. 
1---­
1 
I 
JACKPOT
I 
At the end of the year, we're going
I 
to review all the stuff we've hought,
I 
and the item we think was I.est of all is going to get an extra
1 1 fl00.00 
~~-~--------~~~~------------~ 


GET FUNNY••. WIN MONEY•.. WRITE A TITLE 
This is really a soft detail. Three bucks 
for just kicking it back and forth be­
tween a Him and a Her. Duck soup! 
Three-dollar bills were sent to Barbara 
Fram, U. of Texas; Ira Gurney, ew 
York Univ.; and Forest M. Cruse, U. of 
Texas, for these gags which limped in 
during the September contest: 

* * * 
She: When I get in a drug store, I feel 
like an anarchist. 
He: Me too: Down with Pepsi. 

* * * 
She: 	When you go to a restaurant, why 
do you always flirt with the wait· 
ress? 

He: I'm playing for big steaks. 
* * * 
She: So long ... I'm going on a Pepsi 
party with my two beaux. 
I-le: Beaux? 
She: Elbows! 

* * * 
That's it ••• $3 each for any ofthese 
we print.
·--------------.--­
\)affy\)efinitions 

''
We'll probably have to cut out this de­
-----------------------------------------------------------------" 
Here's a cartoon that needs something. Possibly adrenalin. Or maybe just a ning to sound logical to us. Until that 
partment soo_n. T~ese things are .begin­
title. :For cartoon captions we buy, we pay five bucks each. Or send us an day, however, any Daffy Definition we 
original cartoon idea. $10 for just the idea . .. Sl5 if you draw it-if we buy it. buy rates a fast buck. Like these: 
Easy Money for September cartoon captions went to Cadet R. ]. Berte ofthe U.S. Military Academy, Laurence A. Ingwerson ofBerkeley, Calif.,
Oboe-a cockney tramp. 
and Tom Brody of C1tlver City, Calif. 
Plenty-what Pepsi-Cola's your best buy by. 
HASH ON THE HOUSE 
Barber shop-clip joint. 
Here are a couple of miscellaneous gags we You-what Pepsi's the drink for. dredged up in the September contest. We couldn't classify 'em, hut we thought they
Oyster-a fish that's built like a nut. 
ought to he worth something. So we kicked in $2 each. Are we a soft Louch! 
* * * Little Susie, at her first basketball game, At $1 apiece for these, your con· overheard someone say that the home team science shouM keep you 1tp nights. was ~fred hot," so she immediately ran out 
But that's what we payfor those we 
on the floor with 5 bottles of Pepsi-Cola! 
Senl in by Mr•.J. B. Kennedy, of Urba1•a, Ill.
pri1i.t. 
Robert's uncle bad just returned from Africa and paid a visit to the college lad. "'Bob, my hoy," said the uncle, '"I've brought )OU a trinket." With that, he took out a Pepsi-Cola and handed it lo his nephew ...But this is a Lottie of Pepsi-Cola," exclaimed the boy. te" Thy, sure it is," said his uncle, eeso .•• trinket!" 
Sent in by Leo1uird Blo•tein, of Wa•hington Square College, New York Univer11ity. 
"THERE'S ONE THING CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON WITH CHESTERFIELDS 
... THEY SATISFY" 
STARRING IN PARAMOUNT' S 
GREAT TECHNICOLOR PICTURE 

"UNCONQUERED" 
Copyright 1948, LIGGETT & MYERS TOBACCO Co.