I SMOKED 
MANY DIFFERENT 
BRANDS DURING THE 

WARTIME SHORTAGE. 
CAMELS SUIT ME 
BEST! 

~J 
/#ore peOfJle are smoi11Y eamels tnan ever b~re 

• Experience? Yes, rhar warrirne cigarerre shortage was a revealing experience to smokers everywhere. 
You smoked one brand one day ... a dif­
Your"T-ZONE.11 
ferenr brand the next ... whatever was 
will tell you .. .
available. arurally, you compared brands. 
Thar's how million learned rhe meanino­TFOR TASTE •. . 
of th phra e, "Camels suit me ro a 'T ! " T FOR TH ROAT... And, now rhar you can get any brand of 
that's your proving cigaretrcs you a k for, more people arc sm k­ground for any ciga­re tte. See if Came ls
ing am cl rhan vcr before. Try Camels 
don't suit your
your If. And, when you smoke chem, re­
" T-Zone" to a " T." member th i facr: 11/y choice tobaccos, pro/1erLy r1ged, and bLe11ded in the time­ho11ored ameL way, are used in Camels. 
i 
R. J . Rcynolda Tobacco Co. 
WinsLon-Snlem, N . C. 
,. Three nationally known According to a recent Nationwide survey: independent research or­
ganizations asked l 13,597 doct0rs tO name the ciga­
MORE DOCTORS SMOKE CAMELS rette they smoked. 
More doctors named Camel than
than any other cigarette any other brand. 

TEXAS RANGER 
A nice feeling, isn't it, 
to know the Mademoiselle Shoe 
you select is on exclusive fashion I 

4 SEPTEMBER 1947 
' 


_ 
TEXAS RANGER 

King's 

Record 


Shops 
"ON THE DRAG" 
2118 Guadalupe 
Phone 9437 
and 

ENFIELD SHOPPING COURT 
904-B West Twelfth Phone 9004 
* 


Every­
thing m 
Records 
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EXPERT RADIO REPAIR SERVICE  


MEET THE STAF 

Each month this column will introduce some of the people whose work appears in the Ranger. Here are a few words about those respomible for the September issue: 

The fashion pages-definitely something new in the Ranger-were done by the staff of Mrs. 
J. M. Fraser's Advance Advertising Agency. Alma Ricks (wearing the ribbon around her hair) did the art work. Her husband is in Law School. She did advertising for Capwell's in Oakland and Foley Brot:hers in Houston before coming to Austin. Layout and copy are by Marjorie Garza, whose husb:md is a language major. Marjie was formerly with Robinson's in Los Angeles. 
It's good to have Charles Schorre back with us again this year as art editor. His illustrations and cartoons are familiar to Ranger readers, 'cause he's been drawing them since way back when 
Most of the jokes, some of the cartoons, and The Fiendish Mr. Pong are products of George Warmack, our humor editor, who laughingly con­sults and culls exchanges and joke books. His best cartoons are tacked on the Ranger wall, along with others the censors didn't pass. How­ever, we hear the censors had a hearty laugh be­fore saving the morals of Ranger readers. War­mack's from good old San Antonio. 

Drink When I'm Dry was written by Ben Jeffery, our managing editor. Jeffery has written numerous stories for the Texan and Ranger, but he is probably best remembered for his column, The Iron Cage, which ran in the Texan last year. He's a senior English major. 

Ed Miller, our cartoon editor, has been drawing for the Ranger since the Whiskey Harper-Jack Adkins days. He's from Austin a:nd is a junior ceramics engineering major. In the army Miller drew maps, somewhat duller than the art work he turns out for the Ranger. He's the only cartoon­ist we have ever known who gets a charge out of some cartoons other than his own . . . which, we hope, is encouraging to campus cartoonists. 
For a couple of healthy chuckles we suggest you read The Best Circles by John Weber. Another local boy, Weber can turn out serious stories as well as light ones, and quite a few were used last year. Weber was a big help on this issue. 
Liz Smith dug up that informaiion about Lit­tlefield Fountain entitled Masterpiece or Mon­strosity. After reading the story you will at least know that much hell has been raised about the fountain. Ranger readers may remember the Zack Scott story Liz wrote last year. Hail­ing from Gonzales, Liz has graduated and may r.ot be on the Forty Acres this semester, which we hope is just another of those foul, uncon­firmed rumors. 

Many more people burned the midnight oil in the Ranger office, the results of which are in this issue. You'll meet more of the staff in this column next month. 
SEPTEMBER 1947 


BACK TO SCHOOL  
WI TH A TRIO OF TRICKS  
from the  new Goodfriends  
here you'l I find  fashions schooled  
to give you plenty of credit  
Lefi: For those imporlon do es he Gibson girl silhoue e in o s unning new dress. The blouse, crisp white toffe o wi h gold trim. The skirt, block or brown crepe. $49.95  fashions hat rate from campus thru classroom to date.  

Center: A dream cf a dress for cc.ncing, designed by Non y, wi h tiered bouffant s irt. 0 imported whi e net with horsehair braid. $149.95 
Righ : The costume to wear day ofier day, on campus or off. The full-fas ioned sweo er, so es p re impo e-::1 cashmere. Sizes 34·38. In cardigans, blue, bei<;ie, block. In slipovers, blue, pink, beige, w i e. $16.95 
The s irt, Forstmonn's sheer wool overtone pla id with 
k:c pleat in front and bock. Sizes 10-14. $17.95 
TEXAS RANGER 
Gather with the GANG in the Evening at P-K 
Of course, you will find many of your friends hare at breakfast, lunch and dinner time. But the big get-together is in the eve­ning ofter the rest of Aus­tin hos rolled up the side­walks and retired. 
Come in tonight. 
You'll like P-K 
hospitality 


STAYS OPEN ALL NIGHT! 

On 7th Street 
acro~s from the 
DRISKILL HOTEL 
and 
next to t:1e 
STEPHEN F. 
AUSTIN 

Under the new 
management 
of TOM BARNETT 



s 
lo COl.ONY 
0 

c:::J c::::J 
"My, isn't that Fanny Brown 7" 

"Mother, are there any skyscrapers in heaven?" "No, gon, engineers build skyscrapers." -Covered Wagon. 
Prof. Brown: Can you tell me anything about the great chemists of the 17th century? 
June Coon : yes. They're all dead. -Iowa State 
"You say he only kissed you once last night. What was the matter?" "No one interrupted us." 
Don't you EVER read anything but the jokes. 
"'{ou're not going to walk home in that condition?" "Hie! Coursh not. Gonna drive." 
Stern Parent (to applicant for daugh­ter's hand): "Young man, can you sup­port a family?" 
Young Man (meekly): "I only wanted Sarah!" 
Girl: "I'll stand on my head or bust." Instructor: "Jugt stand on your head." -Oberlin Lutefisk 
"Isn't this antique furniture gorgeous? I wonder where Mrs. Batts got that hu e old chest?" g. "Well, they tell me her old lady was the same way." 
::were _you copying his paper?" . No, Sir, I was only looking to see 1f he had mine right." 
Sultan: "Bring me a girl." 
Servant: "Very good, sir." 
Sultan: "Not necessarily." 

-Rammer Jammer 

FOR ALL TYPES 

OF 


RECORDS 

CLASSICAL AND 
POPULAR 

COME IN AND SEE US 

We hove one of the largest stocks of records and albums in the Southwest. 
Also 
RADIOS 
RECORD PLAYERS 
of all types 

We will appreciate o visit from 

YOU 

Ask about our 
FREE RECORD 
DEAL! 



MAURINE'S 

"A NAME TO REMEMBER" 

RECORD SHOP 

819 Congress 
Ph. 2-4679 
Open 9 A.M. 
Close 6:30 P.M. 
SEPTEMBER 1947 


YOU'LL FEEL AT HOME . . . IN OUR NEW HOME! 
We have been serving students and Faculty mem­
bers for more than 57 years. We invite you to open 
your account with us. 

TEXAS RAN&ER 

sweaters 
by 

'nnken 

'--·----­



RAIGllG 

As each new Ranger editor takes of­fice and brings forth his first magazine the usual first statement is: "Here is the NEW, bigger and better Texas Ranger." 
Not to break this tradition the new 
editor claims to have an entirely new 
magazine, much larger than before, and 
he believes (or hopes) with many im­
provements. Of course, we have retained 
a few things such as the title of the 
magazine, the name of this column, the 
Girl of the Month, etc., etc. 
Many of last year's staff members are 
back with us-including Ralph Marks, 
Ben Jeffery, Charles Schorre, Ed Miller, 
John Weber, Liz Smith, George War­
mack, Jess Brownfield, etc. 
But there were also numerous new 
faces at our summer staff meetings and 
some of their work appears in this is­
sue. 
-0­
The editor was elected in last spring's 
elections without any opposition on the 
ballot. (There was some opposition about 
Student Publications requirements, and 
a letter appeared in The Firing Line.) 
We have no political obligations to ful ­
fill, nor do we hold any grudges-though 
we like some people better than others. 
The editor is an independent . . . in 
fact, he hasn't taken a very active part 
in many campus independent organiza­
tions. We don't believe that belonging to 
any certain group is a qualification for 
becoming a member of the Ranger staff. 
-0­
Next month the Ranger will publish letters to the editor. Letters may be on any subject, should be kept short, and must be signed by the writer. Initials will be used if the author so requests. The editor retains the right to select letters in the interest of the Ranger and the University, and excerpts may be used when space does not permit publication of the entire contents. Letters for the October issue should be in the Ranger office by September 20 to meet our dead­line. 
-<>-­
The Vocation Series will continue throughout the year and will take up the various schools of the University. We happened to pick the Law School for the first of the series, not because there are any lawyers who frequent the Ranger office, 'but because we figured it had been some time since that school had even been mentioned. 
Earlier in the summer we planned to take a campus poll to ask people what they thought of the shacks. However, the Regents gave us a much better con­troversial subject in July when the com­pulsory blanket tax was passed. Besides, the shacks were getting to be a common 
(Continued on Page 55) 
CONTENTS 

GEOLOGY A LA STAFFORD................... . ................................................. 2 
MEET THE STAFF.................................................. .......................... ..... .......... b 
RANGING ............. .............................. .................................................. 11 
PERIGRINUS-STORY OF LAW SCHOOL ............................................ 13 
THE FIENDISH MR. PONG ......................................................... lb 
THE WHEEL ... ..... .. .. ....................................... 17 
DRINK WHEN l'M DRY.... ........ ··y··· .. .. ........ .. .................. 18 
WHY I WANT TO ATTEND THE UNIVERSITY ................................. 20 
TEXAS DRESSES UP.... .. ...... ... .... ........ . .. ..... ......... . . 22 
THE CHERRY T FORMATION ................................ .................................. 24 
COMPULSORY BLANKET TAX ...................................................................... 25 
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE STUDENTS...................................... ............... 2b 
WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE PROFESSORS............................................ 27 
FUN IN YOUR SPARE TIME....................... ........................................... 28 
STUDENT GOVtRNMENT .............................................................................. 30 
MASTERPIECE OR MONSTROSITY? ......................................................... 31 
THE BEST CIRCLES...................... ..................................................................... 32 
GIRL OF THE MONTH .................................................... ....... .................... 33 
FASHION WRITES HER OWN LAWS .................................................. 34 
THE CULVER SISTERS .......... ................ ..... .......................... ................... 37 
RECORD REVERIE ...... ...... ..... . ............................................................... 44 
THE DREAM ............ ..................................... .............................. ..... ............ 58 
METHOD IN THIS MADNESS.......................... ........................................... bO 
EDITORIAL PAGE .... ............... ............................................. ................... b4 



STAFF 

ROBERT E. V. JOHNSON, Editor RALPH MARKS, Associate 
Managing Editor: Ben Jeffery. Humor Editor: George Warmack. 
Charles Schorre. Cartoon Editor: Ed Miller. 
Hunter, J . P. Porter, Bill Rips, Lou Maysel , Tony 
John Weber, Bill Sears, E. Gartly Jaco, Al 

Staff: Alma Ricks and Marjorie Garza. 
visor and Advertising Manager: F. R. Moerke. Assistant Advertising 
George Seager!. 

SEPTEMBER 1947 VOLUME SIXTY 

Published by Texas Student Publications, Inc. 
Building 5. Business and Advertising Offices: Journalism 
cation for second class mailing permit pending at 

Texas. 

Printed by Von Boeckmann-Jones Co., 
.:....:. 
TEXAS RAN6ER 






PERIGRINUS 

THE STORY OF LAW SCHOOL 
First of a Vocational Series-B'I /. P. P~
JF IT'S mystery you're looking for, or humor, or intrigue, add the word "Peregrinus" to your vocabulary. 
The magical quality of this tongue­twi1ter is that e·ren its casual utterance will transform a seemingly sophistici:.ted, aloof tribe of scholars into a group of collegians who are ~s fond of monkey­shines as the rest of the world. 
Oddly enough, the magic of the word, which may be found in any respectable Latin dictionary, lies not in the meaning, but in a corruption of its pronuncii:.tion. The initiated say "Perry-gri-NOOSE," and Latin scholars can go climb a tree. 
Like other magical abracadabras, the word is potent only in its home environ­ment, which is, geographic:illy spei::king, an ancient, barn-like building on the southeast corner of the Forty Acres. 
A brief consultation of your Rand­McNally should identify this section of the universe as the domain of the Legal Eagles of the University of Texas-more specifically, the School of Law. And this revelation, no doubt, will precipiti:.te a good deal of eyebrow raising. 
"What's this?" you say, extracting the curling from your lower lip. "Legal intrigue? Jovial jurisprudence? Who is pulling whose leg?" 
No legs involved, comes the answer. 
Although some people may think it contrary to the accustomed order of things, recent studies have shown that the lawyer and the law student, away from their books and legal paraphernalia, lead wholesome, undiluted Jives in much the same pattern as the rest of the species. It is actually an oddity when one of them uses the word "whereas" more than twice at the breakfast table, and it has even been said that lawyers pay more fines per capita for traffic vio­lations than any other professional group. 


PERIGRINUS, patron saint of the Law School, is this odd looking papier-mache statue. He {or it) is kept under lock and key by the Chancellors. 
To the average University student, nonetheless, the School of Law remains a never-never land of heavily-indexed volumes of divorces and oil titles, in­habited by a species of natives vaguely identified as "Legal Minds." It is a region of gobbledy-gook language in which any subject is always good for an oration or an argument. 
The Law School has always seemed a little detached-not to say aloof-from the rest of the University flock because, partly, of its position as a graduate­level school, partly because of its con­centrated position in one building on the campus, and partly because the lawyers want it that way. The occupants of the "Law Barn" still refer to other parts of the Forty Acres as being "up on the hill,'' and it's a rare occasion when a lawyer has more than one or two courses that take him to a higher altitude. 
But 'tis more than folly to pass the lawyers off as soulless bookworms, be­cause any first-year legal eaglet can deftly point out that of all the divisions of the University, the Law School has the oldest and most cherished traditions, among the highest scholastic merits, and some of the most active leaders in student activitier. 
LP.t's gc back to Peregrinus, as a point of illustration for that last, lengthy statement. 
"Perry" was created as the mystic patron saint of the School of Law in 1899. The event took place in the lecture room of one of the most colorful and most beloved of the early law profes­sors, Colonel W. S. Simpkins. It was the Colonel's first year of professoring, and his students were intrigued by the way way he pronounced--0r mispronounced­some of the Latin terms. One day he asked a student to identify the word "Peregrinus," which was the name of an ancient Roman official. The student swung too low on the curved pronuncia­tion, however, and guessed, "Wal, I don't know, Judge, 'less it could be some kind of animal." 
That was too good to let die, of course, and in practically nothing fiat another student, the late Russell R. Savage of Corpus Christi, drew a picture of the "animal" on the board. The sketch was later copied in a plaster statuette, which was installed as the idol of all scholars of the law. The small orange and white figurine has also become securely in­stalled in the hearts of hundreds of students thzou~h the years. Since early in the century "Perry" has been the symbol of a feud between the Laws and the Engineers, with the result that he has been captured and taken for a ride several times. It is not known for certain whether the current Perry, which is kept in a top-secret hiding place, is the third or fourth edition of the original. 
Colonel Simpkins has become almost 

A WORD FROM THE DEAN 
I congratulate The Ranger upon it plan for a eries of articles on the various schools, and I am happy that the Law School is featured first. 
A word to tho e who are asking themselves, hall I study law? If you have a better-than-average mind, a keen inter­est both in book and men, a gift of per uasiveness, and a 
real enthusiasm for the saying, hie sed the peace-maker, then I would say, tudy law. 
DEAN CHARLES T. McCORMICK. 

TEXAS RANGER 



U. T. LAW 
as much of a legend in the Law School as Peregrinus. "Old Simp," as he was affectionately called by his students, was the spittin' image of Mark Twain, from his shaggy mane to the white linen suit he sported during the hot summer months. Ile also possessed a sharp wit and a spiced tongue that bore good ,·~sembla.nce to that of the humorist. 
Once the Colonel caught some of his students spitting tobacco juice on the floor. 
"Henry," he demanded sever: ly, "did 


thing?" said the Colonel, raising his 
you spit on the floor?" "No, sir, not me, Judge," said Henry. "Frank, did you do that disgustingBARN-LI KE, the old Law Building houses one of the finest schools of law in 
~he So.uth. Rooms are crowded with as many as 200 attending some classes. 
voice.
il\n estimated 1,000 students will study law this semester. "No, Judge, I didn't,"' replied Frank. Turning to the third student, the Col­onel, his face reddening asked, "James?" "Well, sir, I guess maybe I did spit on the floor," James plaintively admitted. "Then gimme a chaw of tobacker!" the Colonel shouted. The Colonel loved applause, and when he entered his lecture room in the morn­ing the ovation which greeted him could be heard all over the campus. He had a huge green-topped desk on which the boys liked to shoot craps (the Colonel never admitted knowing anything about it), and he drove one of the first motor cars from Austin to Dallas, a 40-horse Hupp with a huge air--horn. / Another of the law school's most fa­mous teachers and a vehement instigator of advancement was Dean Ira Polk Hildebr.and, affectionately called "Hilde" by all. He was associated with Law School from 1907 until his death in 1943. He was the Law School's dean 1924-1940. Dean Hildebrand was re­sponsible for the change from the text­
:UL~ET~N BOARD is checked several times daily by all law students. Information 
/~n .t bre c?ncernh class schedules, assignments, personal notes, veterans' af­book method of teaching to the present aidrs,f 1° It notices, onor roll and countless other items concerning students casebook method (the study of actual 
an acu y. 

cases). Through his numerous connec­tions he placed many a young graduate Law in a good position. 
The School of Law has many other memories, and many years to recall them in-more, in fact, than any other part of the University except the College of Arts and Sciences. Both of these units were established in 1884, and the fifty­four law students that year didn't find the admission requirements too stiff. The announ<'ement put out that year re­quested merely "a fair English educa­tion.... College training is not exacted." 
The standards of teaching, however, were set high to begin with, and they have remained high. Dean C. T. Mc­Cormick is currently upholding the envied reputation which was built up by such distinguished jurists as the late John 
TEX~S LAW REVIEW staff discussing Novem­ber mue of the magazine. Students are Jack 
C. Young, Comment Editor· Clinton F. Morse, Associate Editor; Parker C. Fielder, Editor; and Carl F. Hendrix, Note Editor. 
SEPTEMBER 1947 



SCHOOL 
Charles Townes, who was' the School s first dean, from 1902 until his death in 1923. The School is generally ranked with Duke, North Carolina, and the\ University of Virginia as the best in th I South, and it probably leads the nation in up-to-date· instruction in oil and ~s Jaw. 
The Law Library is typical of the School's academic leadership. Containing more than 65,000 volumes, the Library is the only one in the Southwest which has microfilm records and briefs of the United States Supreme Court since 19.38. The English reports, the reports of all the state courts, of the federal courts in this country and its possessions, and reports for the federal administrative agencies are available, to mention only part of the assets. In addition, students of the School of Law have access to the general library of the University, and to the State Library and the Library of the Supreme Court, which are located in the Capitol only a few blocks away. 
The Law Building, or "Barn," as it~ more descriptively known, is less ade-'<l quate and up-to-date than the School's &~ teaching methods or the Library. It wa constructed in 1908, which makes it the second oldest building on the campus. It was too small even during the decade preceding the war, and now that the enrollment has jumped to an all-time high of over 900 students .a new Jaw plant has become not only desirable but quite necessary. An estimated ·1,000 will be in Law School this fall. Teaching this ballooned enrollment engages seventeen full-time professors with some classes ranging from a cr0wded 180-200 per class. 
Dean McCormick is optimistic about 

legal to anybody to the chances for a new building. Though 
no official action has been taken yet the 
project is on the Building Committee's' agenda, and the Dean hopes that con­struction will begin within two years, The location for the new •law plant has been the subject of considerable speculation. It will most likely be in one of three places: on the southeast corner of the l!ampus near where the Law Barn now stimds; to the south of Memorial Mu­se.µm; or near Lake Austin on the Brl\ckenridge plot. 
Tpe Law School's highest honor organi­zaiion is ·Chan'cellors. Tapping of mem­pers is done in the spring semester of miq-law year or the fall semester of senior year. The usual number is six at each choosing. Scholastic average, quantity and quality of law review work, 
(Continued on Page 48) 
RETREAT for a bull session and a short one is offere.d 'to law students by Hillsberg's Cafe. Students are J. Pat Tenn11nt, Robert C. Lanier, Alfrec! W. Offer, Paul C. Cook (President of Law School). Brad Bourtand (President of Stu­
dent'Ane"lbly), and Parker Fielder. TEXAS RANGER 

hire a lawyer. Clinic is supervised by an Austin attorney. Student above is dis­cussing problem with Texas (that's her name) J. Carter, Pat Mclee, and Jean 

E. Hosey: 

15. 
The Fiendish Mr. Pong 

You'd never think the inventor of the ping­pong ball could cause so damn much trou­ble until you read this story by George Warmack. 
QN the thirteenth of November, 1929, Samuel P. Pong waR hanged by the neck until dead. His last words were: "I fully realize I have betrayed the f::~crcd trust bestowed upon me as an Amt•rican citizen and am ready to pay the priee. There is no one in the world today who is mon• guilty than I of major crime a).{ainst humanity; hanging iR really too goocl for me>." It was only fitting that this beast should die by the rope, for he was the inventor of the ping pong b&ll. Samuel P. l'on).{'s relatives ancl family did not i:;o lo the funcml-they would have noth­ing to do with the disposal of such a monster. They would have no part of the man who hud caused millions of innocent people to endure unmentionable hard­ships and abject poverty. 
\

\ 0 \ 
In the fall of 1923 the Feder&! In­dustrial Economic Negation Department (FIEND) of the Commodity Credit Corporation issued an order which was destined to upset our entire national economy. This order seemed to be harm­less at the time of its origin, but it hus now shown its effect to be far reach­ing and devastating. The order wi:.s en­forced by the Federal Industrial Eco­nomic Negation Department and re­ceived its teeth with the passage of the Haveldorf-Slitz bill two months later. The CCC purchased 420,000,001 pounds of ping pong balls in order to keep the m:!rket price from falling. The FIEND was given the problem of deciding where to store the purchased ping pong balls. 
The problem was solved by Senator Raymond Gallup (D., Poteet) who, as head of FIEND, was able to secure 198,000,000 unused banana boats. These boats were docked at the piers and wharves which lined the eastern banks of the Sava) River. The boats were im­mediately pressed into service and the ping pong balls were shipped to the Northern Shan states of Eastern China. 
The loading and unloading of the ping pong balls took six years. This could have been done in less time, but govern­ment inspectors, supplied by the CCC, had to bounce each ball at every foreign port to insure their safe transfer to China. While the long and tedious job of unloading and ball bouncing was tak­ing place in China, the CCC, in coordina­tion with FIEND, had secured permis­sion to use the old Williamson bill, with an amendment added by the House to bring the price of foreign ping pong balls up to the same level reached by the. United States. 
The head of the CCC instructed the President to impose a special import fee, additional to the tariff, because im· ports were reducing the amount of do­mestic ping pong production by 27.8 per centum. The people of the United States were paying ten cents apiece for ping pong balls in 1922 and the price had jumped to fifteen cents by 1924. The natives in Eastern China revolted against the CCC and stole every ping pong ball stored in their part of the country. 
The result was simple, but disastrous. There were 420,000,001 pounds of excess ping pong balls released at one time. 
The foreign market could not tolerate such a blow. The sudden flood of ping pong bails caused the immediate crash of the ping pong industry in South AmP.rica, supplt•mente>d by a complete shutdown in Siberia. The United States was called upon to subsidize these para­lyzed industries. This led to the passage of the Farnsworth-Pabst bill which called for a complete investigation of the Williamson bill and a subsequent inveRti­gation of the Haveldorf-Slitz bill. . 
Two months later (June 7, 1929) tl}e l!nited States ping pong ball industry crashed. With ping pong ball econopiy on the rocks the stockholders of the Acm~ Ping Pong Paddle Corpontiqn were scared into se>lling their stocks in order to reinvest in a more secure po­sition. This apparent run on the APPPC forced the Federal Reserve Board to allow loans to corporations ostensibly interested in programs of the ping pong paddle production. Between July and September of 1929, borrowings for spec­ulation on the ping ponic situation rose fr0m rne-thirrl to eigM. and one-half billion dollars. Prices of stocks soared upward to an apparently permanently high plateau. As a result many European 
(Continued on Page 50) 

SEPTEMBER 1947 

THE WDEE·L 

A SHORT STORY IN VERSE BY BILL RIPS 

arson 
black 
Clarence stopped to bu 

The glare from Lundgren' sh,..,wglass cut his eye With harp incisions from the naked bulbs. The pottery maiden in the gingham dress (Four fifty-eight, brought down from five) Leered out at Clarence a he hunched his head Into the night that frosted Market Street. Young Lundgren hit it lucky, Clarence thought. He died before the years ate out his brain And siphoned off the cream of his desire Into the slop-trough of this dingy store­Buying and selling, when his hands were full Of brilliant canvases, rh thmed designs 
(Continued on Page 38) 
TEXAS RANGER 


TEXAS RA!llGER 1941 I 


SEPTEMBER 

The green corn stood the heat well. Better than he did, sweat seeping through the khaki shirt and uncomfortably down his leg where the Luger pistol rested in his pocket. It might rust. But he wanted to get rid of it. 
He could see Joe Tyler come out of the corn at the far side of the field, then vault the fence, holding the tight bundle of the towel in his free hand. Bastard! he thought. Takes two legs to jump a fence that way. 
Watching Joe Tyler from behind the green spear blades spreading thick across the rows. The erect ears of young corn full of sap, their tassels burnt gold the color of Ellen's hair. I'll wait for you, she said. 
He stumped along in the soft clodded furrows. The sun hot and the glare hurt his eyes, like the blinding sand and rocks in North Africa. Sand was good for fleas and land mines. Watch for land mines, sometimes it's worse than a leg they take off. They were m-0re to worry about than the Wops and Krauts. Italians make willing prisoners, Germans defiant ones. Never take prisoners, men, if it's too much work getting them to the rear. The skinny Major chain-smoking and mopping sweat from his neck. Shoot first and take prisoners afterwards. 
He came to the barbed wire fence, and pushed down the bot­tom strand to crawl through. Squatted there, his good leg over to the other side of the fence in the dead leaves. A barb caught at his shirt, and he pulled, the barb digging into his back. He lunged forward, the shirt ripping as he dug into the leafy mold. Lay there whimpering, remembering pain on the hot sand, pain on the white sheets at the hospital. 
Take it easy, General, .the nurse had said. Nerves a little shot, but you're okay. Take it easy, this will fix you up. The scream­ing of that sandy-headed kid in the next wa~d-all night. Can't sleep with that going on. Take it easy, General, the war's over. Some guys learn to walk so you can't tell it's not a real leg. That movie actor most people don't even know about it. They had called you General, reading Male Call, that Miss Lace stuff. Feel better, General? The nurse with soft hands who had massaged 
his back and read to him. The funny papers, books .... When shall we three meet again, in thunder, lightning or in rain. ·No 
rink when Im, dr~ •••• 

By BEN JEFFERY 
rain in Africa, but hot sun that hurt his eyes. When the hurly­burly's done, when the battle's lost and won.... The war's over, General. 
He struggled up, his leg creaking. Walked through the thick underbrush the way Joe Tyler had gone. He and Ellen had liked this part of the creek bottom, hunted black haws. There's a haw tree, Ellie! Pulling down the branches for her, sucking the black sweet bunches. I'll wait for you, she said. 
Of course he wanted her to have a good time, and he knew she saw Joe Tyler at church. Hard for Joe, staying to work in the fields, but Joe's mother and the younger children couldn't break the land and hoe the corn. Food will win the war. The 
home front. Those filthy propaganda leaflets on cheap paper the Germans dropped behind the lines .. In civvies, crouched over a soft blonde, with eager hands. That's not just a girl, Joe. That's YOUR girl. Sure, it was silly, they wanted to worry you. Joe see Ellen. They were old friends. (Continued on Page 46) 
aWa1-it to atte1-id 1k U1-iioe1tsit~ ot 1exas 

By HEMAN MARION SWEATT 

The Ranger believes that the racial problem in educa­tion should be openly discussed by all intelligent people. This story, exactly as written by Hemon Morion Sweatt, is published as information for Ranger readers, and opin­ions stated ore those of the author. Letters regarding this story are welcome and the best will be published in an 
early issue of this magozine.-THE EDITORS. 
S EVERAL months following my appli­
cation to enter the University of 
Texas Law School, one individual who 
interpreted this action as one suggest­
in~ the Negro's claim to equal national 
achievement, raised the question: "If 
Negroes think themselves equal to the 
White man, why doesn't one of them 
make an atomic bomb?" 
It is unfortunate that the implication 
of that question falls so tragically short 
of including the real issue involved in 
my suit, and injects in its place one of 
the major errors to be noted in the 
"capacity theory" of "racial differences." 
Advocates of this line of thinking con­
clude that differences in group achieve­
ments are wholly a matter of capacity­
that there is a hard and fast line divid­
ing Negroes and Whites along patterns 
of such inherent qualities. They fail to 
understand that whatever native capac­
ity the mind of an individual in either 
ethnic group may possess, it must be 
stimulated by productive opportunity be­
fore it can possibly develop to its high­
est. And it is this latter fact that makes 
it unsound for anyone to expect names 
of the first degree of luster to rise 
among suppressed and submerged classes 
who are denied this basic opportunity. 
Indeed, with pre-empted advantages 
for doing so, Texas University is much 
more likely to produce atomic scientists 
than Prairie View College, where many 
of the Negro's potential scientists are 
discouraged by innumerable circum­
stances from such fields of study, and 
others misguided into the study of mat­
tress making. 
Not many years ago, I read a study 
of "ability" distribution in the United 
States in which the conclusion was 
reached that "native capacity" alone has 
accounted for the little state of Massa­
chusetts producing more men of distinc­
tion and achievement than all of the 
south combined. Please note that in this 
study the southern White man is placed 
in the same status of capacity inferior­
ity to northern and eastern people as 
many of them are generally apt to as­
sign the Negro. 
Now, only a bigot of national sec­
tionalism could take material of that 
nature and conclude that the southern 
White people are inherently inferior to 
the people of New England. We south­erners know better. What differences in demonstrated achievement exist between southern Whites and other sectional groups in this country must be attrib­uted wholly to the bracing tones of the respective environments. 

And yet the insistency of many peo­ple to believe in this capacity theory focuses one of the most glaring incon­sistencies in contemporary American society-that of the error in easy gen­eralization. This is expressed in the will­ingness of too many individuals to con­cede in one breath the national dem­ocratic premise of "freedom of thought" which makes possible the varied ideolog­ical camps into which the mass divides; and then in the next breath, proceed to interpret incidents stemming from any one of these camps in such generalized terms as "The People." 
Thus, too many people of today have permitted themselves to shape such dis­torted pictures of life in this country as: The Labor movement being composed of innumerable prisoners chained to a few labor leaders who are hell-bent upon stealing management's last shirt; as New Dealers assuredly seeking political dic­tatorship; and as White men sleeping with one eye open to protect their homes from the assumed ravish nature of Ne­groes, while thirteen million Negroes are viewed as being incapable of harbor­ing any ambition higher than dancing at the Waldorf-Astoria in the embrace of Lana Turner. And-for each Qf these fantastic assumptions there is a "poll" designed for taking among "the people" to statistically prove its "facfualness." 
It is thoroughly consistent with this consistency, then, to find that my appli­cation to enter the University of Texas Law School has similarly picked up its fair share of dogmatists who have not only refused to view my action in terms of anything other than an abstract racial crusade, but have denied the most remote possibility that the application is one of good faith. 
It cannot be denied that the implica­tions of this matter are destined to af­fect the lives of many other Negroes. But I am responsible only to the extent of an application-and there were hun­dreds of entrance requests made at the date on which mine was filed. Thus, I can only reaffirm my application as a concrete expression of my individual in· terest in the study of law. I cannot con­cede that there could be anyone (save myself) who could know whether I sin­cerely wish to enter Texas University Law School. So I again say that study­ing in this institution is yet my hope, and leave the dis-believer to think as he may. 

In similar fashion to the conclusions assumed regarding the motive behind my application, there have been others offered in connection with "the people's reaction." For example, there have been individuals who with one hand boldly prepared to snatch a pay envelope from a disadvantaged Negro's hand, poses the question, "Would you like to attend the University of Texas?" And when the instantly self-protective answer of "No" is given, the ridiculous conclusion is reached that "the Negro people" just LOVE the system of educational segre· gation. For obvious reasons, however, such investigators have a keen ability for screening "the Negro people" in· cluded in such "polls." 
So it is not my intention to promote the idea that I voice the unanimous opinion of the Negro community in wish­ing to enter Texas University. It is, to stress the fact that-even to the extent of dividing into varied ideological camps of opinion on all subjects-we exist in identical reaction pattern to all other Americans. 
Evidence of that fact can be demon­

strated in the past gubernatorial elec­
tion of Georgia, in which the late anti• 
Negro Eugene Talmadge boasted of hav­
ing a Negro High School principal ( ?) 

as co-manager .t his campaign. And 
quite obviously, the current charge of 
the congressional Un-Ame:ican Commit­
tee that "the Negro people" affords one 
of the major national hot-beds for Com· 
munism illustrates the other extreme of 
opinion existing in the Negro commu· 

nity; that is, if the Un-American Com· 
mittee itself isn't guilty of over-general­
ization. So it would be as dishonest as 
it would be absurd for me to claim rep­
resentation of "the Negro people." But 
of course, if my interest in the legal 
profession raised any measure of doubt 
regarding my capacity for being hon­
(Continued on Page 40) 
SEPTEMBER 1947 




LET'S HAVE A LAUGH 

"Who was the blonde you were out with Wednesday and Thursday?" "She was the brunette I was out with Monday and Tuesday." 
"I don't like the way that blonde across 
the street dresses." "How does she dress?" "In the dark." 

Robin: "What's that spotted egg do­ing in the nest?" Mrs. Robin: "Oh, I just did it for a lark." -Jackolantern 
He-·Do you neck? 
She--That's my business. 
He-Oh, a professional. 
Visitor: "Where are the monkeys?" Keeper: "They're in the back making 
love."  
Visitor:  "Would  they  come  out  for  
some peanuts?"  
Keeper:  Would you?"  -Sundial  


Doc: "Hey, stop! Don't you know that kissing is a good way to transmit germs!" 
Coll itch Feller: "Good? Hell, it's per­fect." -Texas Ranger 
"Dear, am I the first man you ever loved?" "Yes, Hugh; all the others were fra­ternity boys." 
"I think your husband is wearing a new kind of suit," said Rose. "Not at all,'' said Lily. "We], he looks different," persisted Rose. "It's a new husband,'' explained Lily. 
"Gosh, that girl is built like a hou:c." "She's plastered, too." -Medley 

Chaplain-"My man, I will allow you five minutes of grace before the e!ectro­cution." 
Condemned Man-"Fine, bring her in." 
-Ohio Green Goat 

There was a very young Teke pledge who, upon answering the door, hurried to the actives. "Sir, there's a woman ped­dler at the door." 
Teke Active: "Tell him we got plenty." 
-Ski-U-Mah 



"Frankly, Mac, do you think drinking c!ieapens a lady?" 
Socialist Father: What do you mean by playing truant? What makes you stay away from school? 
Son : Class hatred, father. 
-Ohio Wesleyan Sulphur Spray 

She (coyly): "You bad boy, don't you try to kiss me again!" He: "I won't. I'm just trying to find out who has the bourbon at this party." 
I can't bear children Who are scrawny and pale. I can't bear children Because I'm a male. 

"Who was that lady I seen you eating with last night?" "That was no k.dy, that was my knife." 
Love makes the world go round; but then so does a swallow of tobacco juice. 
"I was shot through the leg in the 

war." 
"Have a scar?" "No, thanks, I don't smoke." -Urchin 

"What kind of a dress did Betty wear to the party last night?" "I don't recall all the details, but I do remember it was checked." "Boy! That must have been some party." 


Baby Stork: "Mama, where did I come from?" -Kangaroo 
College Boy : "Do you pet?" 
Co-ed: "Sure-animals." 


C. B.: "Go ahead then, I'll be the goat." -Yellow Jacket 
texas dresses up 

Registration Week ... campus crowded ... thousands of new anc.l old faces . .. new people registering with old questions ... olc.l hands iu 11ew dot.hes .. smart clothes on smart men ... men who have been places ... men who are going places ... here are a few who know how to pick courses and clothes ... who know where they're going ..• how to g·et there 

•orris parker 

Austin, ex-Na,·al .\ir Corps pilol who was rried the first of this monlh to d1armi11g n Bucher of Cle,·cland, Ohio. and who is joring in Ard1i1ect11ral Engineering. \!orris iearing a two button, single hrcas1cd. hrowu ped unfinished worsted wi1h a soft roll ~l from Schwartz Tailors. 
james turpin 

English Major of . .\ustin, formerly Junior l>eck Oflil:er wi1h 1he \lerchaut \farine wears a lounge drape model in a double hreasted gray flannel with a chalk stripe. Smart. too. is the wide spread rnllar of Jim's while Oxford shin and his original hand-hlot:ked Damon tie. all from The Toggery. 
george seage 
l'ittshurgh, l'ennKylvania, .-\dvertising Major: former Navy Aerial Photographer wears a I corduroy jacket with leather l>11ttons and Ii tan doellkin gahardine slacks from S. v. ~ wood and Son. Incidentally George hro11 in m6st of the ach·erti~ing that you sec in record-hreaking Ranger. 
SEPTEMBER 1947 
billy stacy 

of Austin, late of the U. S. Navy's Amphibious Branch. a Phi Delta Theta, majoring in Air Transportation. likes this Hollywood double breasted Ritz full draped model. Note the full blade and shoulder lines, the smart suppressed waist line and the new long roll lapel. It's a smart hrowu headed stripe flannel from Reynolds-Penland. 
TEXAS RAN&ER 
Photograph• by Stanley Depwe 
Word• by Ekreom 
wallace gullahorn 

senior from \\'id1ita Falls, ex-stick jockey of a 1'-51 in E.P.O., l'uhli,· .\l'rnunting '.\(ajor wears a double breasted tuxedo with the popular lounge drape, piped pockets and full trousers from :-.:olan Sims. \\lallace is married to a n:ry charming girl from Louisiana and is accountant for the Texas St11dent Publications. 



A well-known faculty member (who prefers to remain The other side of the story. A senior student anonymous here) with over 25 years at the University (also anonymous) who has observed many professors tells what he thinks is wrong with the students. ... for many years gives his opinion of the faculty. · 
The above title is not a question but the classes they attend. The teacher has ing techniques, that they do not hav1 This article isn't properly titled. It wash-especially the part about the a subject, one that I have thought on to pitch his instruction at the average, time to become or remain educated. Whal should be called "What's wrong v,.;th "weed-out program." at intervals over a long teaching career. and this low group keeps the instruc­is worse, many of them develop a big. some professors, and why, with various Well, to get back to Dr. Addlepate A. In this discussion I shall divide the stu­tion at a lower level than it should be in otry-something an educated persoi. theorizings on cause and effect." But we Binge-if he hates students, why doesn't _ 
should never have-about their own p111• wanted a short, simple title. We also
dents into two groups, undergraduates 	a university. This raises the question of he sell insurance? Because Pr. B~'nge ,; .c whether the teacher should aim at the fession. They come to believe that it ii wanted to get you excited over the pros-
and graduates. has a consuming interest in Economics · The chief trouble with undergraduates ignorant mass in the hope of bringing the most important thing in the world pect of finding Dr.. So-and-So (whose research-he's an expert on hardwa is that they can not read. Actually, all them up or at the better students who and thereby lose perspective. The law. guts you hate) sef~ down in caustic ,prices from 1910 to 1912. The Un~e s1ty education consists of reading, and the , are equipped to go on with the processes yers put on a wing collar, speak of thi prose as a horrible e~ample. D<r'. ,,.,.So-lS't_he best place to carry o research, ability to acquire education consists of of learning. Because of the conditions I constitution authoritatively, and perhap, and-So is probably a good euphemism, but' unfortunately (for. and for us) the reading with understanding what is have set forth the standards of the Uni­v,.;th some encouragement from tho too, for what some faculty members are he has'to teach in o to get paid. What set down in the books. The teacher's lec­versity of Texas are lower today than who should know better, deprecate thi called by University of Texas students. it's hi!! research (arid publica­tures are supplementary to the books, they were thirty years ago. The return time wasted "on the ·hill." The engineen We're not just going to verbally barbe-ed journals) that gets him useful for emphasis and for points of of the G. L's with their experience and go in-or used to go in-for he-mat cue Dr. Addleipate A. Binge, whose r~,._,...umn and advancement in the view, but the real stuff that education is maturity has altered the situation some­stuff. They loathed English and ·kepi sophomore course in Economics olarly world. This is almost uni­made of is in books, not in lectures or what, and has enabled the faculty to open season on laws all the time. IL on so many cases of combined versally true-,-_not 'just at Th~Univer­the spoken word. In order to read the raise standards after a long period of conversation with cultured people-an~ iness and nausea among cam sity of Texas:'<~.President Painter, in a student must know the meaning of lowering them. What will happen when an engineer sometimes needs to con· votees of higher learning. report to-4he-fatl~l~ last October, listed words, must have a vocabulary. Most the G. L's have gone, and waves of im­verse with them in order to get con-talk abo.ut, some of th reasons Dr. the following qya1ml:ations for advance­students, as they come, have no vocab­mature people who have never learned to tracts-they were a washout. I under Binge i~--~~~-:, e i ~it's not ju.st: the ment, which are Jlf£1t at all peculiar to ulary, and do not have time to acquire read dominate the campus again remains stand things are taking a turn for th1 professor~,'·; l . . o the system. --~· ·~ The University -~f:/,l'exas: one in the first two years of college to be seen. better, and that culture and general Co~p . ; __a mst ?ur ~capego~!,:he'te, 1,) Teaching abili~ ... 2) productive work. The vocabulary itself is developed The chief hanqicap of the graduate learning are being sp. oken of v.-ith mon~-~nge, ~:re not unJustified. The, Do:C-research, as contr~ted v,.;th what may by reading, by constant reading wi.th respect in engineering circles. is one~f _that class of teach.prs:·Who be called contemplative research which
students as a class is that they have not 

some attention to the words used. 	As for B.B.A. students, they have no ·egard !Jie1r freshman and se>pl)omore all too often I have observed is non­
learned to think. They can read, and 
Reading seems to have gone out of 	yet been differentiated. This trade school students as · comple~ely hopeles~ and a productive; 3) us~i:ilness on commit­
they do develop a familiarity with the 

style. Let some sophomore, or junior, 	is still on the make with more ambitioP waste o.f valua.~e time. Dr..Emge no_t tee and other . admi~strative assign­
special field of their investigation. They 
only thmks this-he makes 1t clear to
say honestly how many books he has 

tend to bury themselves in their subject to integrate with going 
busine_s~}han t1 	ments. ... 
his classes. He delights in .exposing the

read in thG past twelve months. 'rhe 	rathe1· than to encompass it and see its understand the significance of' it President Painter also told the faculty
ignorance of the little blonde on the 

good teacher, in spite of the time-con­
average glances at the headlines of the 

relation to other fields of knowledge. 	social and ·political world. that-
back row who irritates him by chewing 

suming nature of both occupations. He
newspapers, but does not read the news. 

Many of them are trained but not edu­The physicians are not i@r 	if you have ambition to attain distinc­
gum while he lectures. He also has the 

is a good teacher because he under­
He may read the sports or fashions, de­

cated. They become clerks of informa­worse, trained on t · 	tion in your chosen field, and the abil­
habit of covering about half the text 

stands his subject. Specialization does
pending on sex, and take a turn at the 

tion pertaining to their sub'jects tather ·fore have no1L. •~<01.on•.v 	ity and perseverance that is required
during a semester and announcing a

funnies which are on the moron level. 	not prevent him from acquiring a broad
than masters. They bear about the same may be with medical student& 	in order to bring researches to a con­
few days before the final that the. exi.:m

Then he turns to the radio which is sub­	understanding of related fields-this un­
relation to general knowledge that 
a file The sel!"m to list a bit heavily to scien~ 	clusion, you have come to an institu­
will cover the whole book. 

derstanding is almost necessary to a
moron. He, the· average student, up to 

clerk in a Ford office bears to the oper -to derive all their knowledge of s~ 	tion where you may expect your efforts
Dr. Binge is a great one. for dates 	really capable specialist. 
the senior level, never exercises his mind 

tion of the Ford Motor Company. 	cial relations from the publications ol to be rewarded....
and figures. Not the kind you think 	Dr: Binge, of course, doesn't look on
on the tough fare of the real writers. 
the American Medical Association. 	In making the above remarks, I do
Graduate students in the field~ 

about all the time, but the year the claw it in this way. He resents anythingand sciences are character' too much
Therefore, he never learns to read any 
What I seem to come out with is ru 	not wish to belittle your value as a 

more than a boy who never runs or ex­
hammer was invented and the number or (especially a class) which takes him by timidity. They "li'l....-1~1'h 
illiterate gap in University education 	teacher.... On the other hand, com­

rat tail files produced in 1910.·He·speaks · 	away from hardware prices-1910 to
ercises his muscles can become quarter­
The average student comes here no' 	petence in research is a rare attribute 

back or shortstop. Until a student learns afraid of their p rs, and want to do 1 in a low flat voice, tob, which "is fine for 	i912. This is a com~o~ enough failing to
kn9wing how to read simple English. H	and as long as our institutions are or­

something taat pleases the professor. the nappers but hard on those who try to 	bring forth ·:·the· "~on;plaint from one
to read, he can never be educated. He 
spends two to four years learning in 1 	ganized as they are at present, the 

may get a degree which can be had by One never do an indenpendent or maintain an interest in what is being graduate stu'cfeiif that the atmosphere serving time rather than by studying. .-c._...,.·...al piece of work in this attitude. limited way to read, and then he tak~ said. productive scholar will almost inevi­around the University was "Pagan." up a speciality which absorbs so mud tably be advanced more rapidly than 
These illiterate students, a cons~er­student should not have a master. He Many complaints have more to do 	"There are too many little gods," he 
· of his energy that he never has the op 	the·.man who is content simply to acquire
should seek to become one on his own 	says, "each in his own image." That is,
able percentage of0n~~n and 	portunity to become educated by rea& with the student's grade in the course and impart knowledge and does not desire
hook, taking what he can get from vari­

sophomore class, c~ drag on 	than with the qualifications of his pro­there are some specialists who are not 
ing, thinking, conversing, and tying to 	to add to it.

ous professors, but aping none of them. 	particularly good as researchers (and
fessor. There is a lot of folklore to ex­
gether the various particles of knowl 	So why should Dr. Binge try to· .teach

Graduate students, in their anxiety to plain away F's to friends and parents. 	certainly not as teachers) because they
edge that he may have picked up. 	you anything ? ·

"get through,'' are afraid to tackle big The flunkees claim that certain teachers don't attempt to bring their resei'~ch subjects, worthwhile subjects, those that Several years ago members of tb1 are by their natures (or by the fact . The professor who takes this emphasis into focus with any broader field of will have some results at the end. The faculty undertook to provide within th1 that they have unhappy home lives) in­on research as an excuse for not spend­knowledge. professors, for their part, hesitate to college of arts and sciences an opportun capable of giving A's. They just delight ing any time on students is an excep­Dr. Binge is never going to be a good approve a big subject. They prefer some­ity for young people to become educatet in handing out low marks to large seg­tion however. It is true that the de­teacher because he can't establish con­thing small-about the size of the stu­in a general way. Faculty membef. ments of the student body. Or they take mand for productive scholarship cuts tact with his students. He can't because dent, or the professor. The result is that noted for their teaching ability we~ an unreasonable dislike for certain stu­down on the time he feels he can de­he doesn't like and won't make any effort not much original work comes out of the chosen to handle Plan II which consistet dents-perhaps because they disagree vote to classroom preparation and con­to understand his students. He alter­graduate schools. of about 100 students of high scholasl!I with their political views. This goes ferences-you might think of that the nately confuses them by the use of his next time you waste an hour of your
Along with graduate students should attainments. These students continuet over especially well in Houston. Then technical vocabulary as proof of his be mentioned the professional students, more or less together for about foui there's the famous "weed-out program" professor's time explaining that you erudition and insults them by watering worked three whole hours on· that paper down his subject to the point of sheer
lawyers, engineers, doctors, and of late years.· It was noted that many of th< employed by many departments (so the 
vintage the devotees of business admin­young people who regist ered for plat F-makers would have you believe) which and wondering why you didn't ·'make boredom. He only asks questions to em­

. 	~ 

istration. The chief thing wrong with II were children of old graduates VI gti:arantees that a certain percentage an A. barrass an inattentive student -real them is their narrowness. They are have specialized in law, medicine, etc will automatically fail. This is pure hog The good researcher is usually the (Continued on Page 52) driven so hard in their training, in learn-(Continued on Page 53 
TEXAS RANGER 
2b 
SEPTEMBER i9l' 




STUDYING-You can do much better, we think, studying on the grass. It is much softer than library chairs, and, be­sides, they might postpone the quiz. 

MOVIES-Most of them are pretty sad these days, but an air-conditioned theatre is still a good place to eat pop corn and discuss things. ­


PICNICS-Good, whole.some food in the outdoors builds strong bodies. Ordinarily ·it is preferable to have a large crowd and cha~eron. 
' 

SWIMMING-Fine exercise to make you healthy. Be sure to stay in the cold water all the time, and have your water wings along, just in case. 


DANCING-!-lso good exercise and a fine time to meet many new friends. Dancing is definitely' an art and should be treated as such. 
REFRESHMENT-of course, you need a good soft 'drink on a warm afternoon. You'll find the fountain room wiitLquench your thirst and refresh you. · 
FUN IN 
THE DEAN RECOMMENDS: 

MOVIES-Heartily recommended are the interesting movies 
in Austin. You'll find them so enjoyable and exciting, you'll 
hardly know you have a date. 

MODELS: 

~;ude Lindsay and Bob Adcock * Cookie Gri.sham a.nd Wagner * Joyce Bell and Johnny Bohn Gloria 
Wilson and Bob Wheeler. 
Rufus Guthrie * Mary Mae McDonald and Ann Carter and Sterling Steves * Beverly 
THE RANGER SUGGESTS: 


PICNICS-Don't worry about the food. You can always grab a quick snack before eleven. A Navajo · is not ab­solutely necessary, but it helps. 



~'t'NCING-Nuts to 
the other people.. Who cares if you ar1 Ginger Rogers or Fred Astaire anyway? Make the most of an opportunity to have fun! · · 

ALL PHOTOGPRAPHS BY STAN LEY DEPWE 




If there is a single spot on the campus where one finds concentrated the great­est amount of love, hate, admiration, and astonishment, West 21st Street and Uni­versity Avenue is the place. 
Here stands the $250,000 Littlefield Memorial Fountain, with its lily pads, its silent bronze giants, its nostril-spew­ing seahorses, its floodlights, its verbose engraving, its flowing waters. One of .the most controversial pieces of art in the State, it is sought out by sentimental­ists, pranksters, paint-smearing vandals, camera addicts, freshmen, waders, visi­tors, lovers of statuary, and persons feeling its fatal fascination without cause. Here is the University's most obvious and colorful spot, like it or not. 
The Fountain came into being through 
trial and turmoil. No one wants to be 
quoted, but rumor has it that the Re­
centa accepted Major George Littlefield's 
gift with a measure of fear and trem­
bling not unlike the emotions of those 
receiving Christmas neckties. Unwilling 
to offend the Littlefield heirs, they never­
theless were afraid of adopting a "white 
elephant." 
* * 

Yet unknown to many, the Memorial 
was not created haphazardly as a hodge­
podge of ftgures to stun the eye and be­
wilder the brain. Each quirk of bronze 
by the Italian sculptor, Pompeo Coppini, 
baa a meaning which Major Littlefield 
intended would perpetuate in artistic 
form the id91lliam of American youth. 
When the Memorial's installation be­gan in November, 1932, the six portrait statutes, originally intended to surround the fountain, werti already in the State Capitol Rotunda. The figures, which took three years to complete, were shipped from New York and came by truck from Galveston. Coppini personally placed the statuary. 

In an editorial, The Daily Texan greeted the installation with the words, ". . . the artistic point of view can be accommodated ... to make the Univer­sity more than just a large collection of buildings to make the campus dis­tinctive. The campus with this great gateway will become something that Texans will be proud to point to." 
But one Texan was not proud to point to the Fountain except with the finger of scorn and ridicule, and so fre­quently and bitterly did he do this that his temarks became legend. 
In a burst of stinging oratory, J. Frank Dobie said of the Memorial: "It is a conglomerate of a woman standing up, with .arms and hands that look like the stalks of a Spanish dagger; of horses with wings on their feet, aimlessly ridden by some sad figures of the male sex; and of various other inane para­phenalia. What it symbolizes probably neither God nor Coppini knows." Broach­ing the subject of "meaning," Dobie said, "It is a classical because it is neither natural nor real." 
In 1943, he worked in a war theme, 

saying, "Scrap metal is badly needed. 
This is a good time to get rid of those 
idiotic riders and amorphous horses." 
The folklorist's objections to the Foun­

tain became so well known that the first­
place winner in the 1940 Round-Up Pa­
rade was a float showing "The Fountain 
as Dobie Would Like to See It," with cowboys and Indians replacing the bronze statuary. 
The Ranger in 1942 ran a cartoon showing two drunks in top hats and tails floundering around in the Fountain. One said to the other, "But they told me somebody sunk $250,000 in this thing." 
Despite the long-continued rumpus about whether the Memorial was or was not ART, it was there to stay and stu­dents began accepting it and utilizing for their own purposes. It became a traditional meeting place for picnics and outings. Many a club or fraternity took it to their heart, dunking their pledges in its limpid waters. During the pre­war elections, it was customary to duck would-be politicians after election speeches. Once the students went down to dunk "Pappy" O'Daniel, but he fili­bustered them out of it. 
With the advent of war, senior Rotcees 

began taking swimming lessons before 
graduation. And more than one Air 
Corps man, flying too high, was reported 
to have sobered up under Columbia's 
upraised arms. 
The portrait statutes made the news 

too, as the years rolled by. Campus 
politicians were using Governor Hogg's 
ample abdomen to hold their signs in 
1938. Woodrow Wilson was painted 
mow-white in 1940. General Robert E. 
Lee acquired a wasp's nest under his 
coat-tail. Governor Hogg got a rosy 
glow from an application of red paint 
by admiring Aggies. Columbia herself 
suffered this same indignity. 
The Fountain, along with the six 

bronze portrait statues up the walk to the 
Main Building, symbolizes the fusion of 
(Continued on Page 88) 
TEXAS RAN6ER 

THE BEST CIRCLES 



Tho sogo of Murgotroyd Q. Costloborry, whose nome rose from "report lo tho Deon" cards lo bocomo o byword among semanticists of this ago. 

Aft r Murgatroyd Q. a tleberry re­
iv d his dis ha1·g and xhaustecl hi,; 
r clit in th s 1 ct 52-20 club he decided lo g t an du ation. anything but th very b st, he enrolled in the Huntsville R form chool, only to find that it had not b en approved by th Vet ran's Admini tration or the N ~1­lional ouncil of Phi B ta Kappa. Mul'­gatroyd cl cid d to do the next be t thing and nroll in th ni r ity of T xas, rn h drov to Pflug rville and tood in lin for the registrar'. offic . Eventual­ly h guc cl in nrolling and took ver th quart rs vn ot d by th lot -lament cl 

lfonPo chultz. 


loboratory, including 
iant" h mistry t and n 
Er tor . et. Bored of Rea­
on 
n 
was an engine '" 

II wa. much chargrin cl when h found out that English I (whisp r the name) wa required of all fre hmen, good, hr.cl, or engineering. He dismi eel the our e with a hrug, however, since h had all his old high school themes, as well a tho e hi i ter had turned in b fore being evicted for quoting the Daily Worker in EBA chool. 
32 

Murg soon realized his mistake, since none of his themes passed the mark. He tried everything, even pledging a fra­ternity, before he found out that none of his brethren had ever pa sect English the first time around. 
Being a man of originality, Murga-r· l royd soon hit upon a solution. He num­bered the word on each page of his Web ter's Dictionary and loosened the clamps on hi slide rule. Each time he needed a word, he thumped the slide on hi rule. The r acting under th hairline gave th page number, and the reading n xt to the index gave the word num­ber on that page. Of course it took time to look up the words, but, since Murga­troyd wa. a fraternity man, he had one of the pledges do the strong-arm work. 
Murgatroyd's grades immediately be­gan to ri e, due, no doubt, to th ex­t nd cl Yocabulary he employ d. He oon had a reputati n for b ing a deep think-
r, and one of the Engli h prof was 
h ard comparing him to James Joyce. A 
kind of T. . ver ion of Joyce, that is; 
on with all th four-letter words de­
1 t d. 

But there wa sti ll some difficulty. Sometime when he thumped the slide it would sail across the room and he would have to go over and pick it up. So one fine day he went over to the book store and purcha ed a circular lide rule. It didn't \?<>rk too well until he looseneCI the center nut and scr wed the disk to the wall, but after that it proved su­p rior t the straight ver ion. It soon g-ot, to th p int wher , just for a lark, h hand d in, verbatim, a copy of page 126 of . S. A. and had it l·eturned with a grade of A. Which just shows what 11 r putation can do. 
One balmy Saturday night two of Murgatroyd's fraternity brothers, in f<ea rch of a week-end supply of embalm­ing fluid, broke into hi room. In their twilight condition, they mistook the slide rule on the wall for the dial of a safe, and promptly twisted the damn thing off. In fact, they tore down the wall be­fo1·e giving up the search for the afore­mentioned embalming juice. 
When Murgatroyd return d, he took quick stock of the ituation. The wall and both pointers on hi slide rule were irreparably damaged. It became neces­!'<ary to screw the di k to the table top and substitute a pair of heavy pointers for the celluloid scales. The change w11M H 11 for the better, however, since the termitizer, a he called it, wo1·ked much smoother than before. It soon became a popula1· diversion around the fraternity hou e to place bets on the next number, which accounts for subsequent Ti e in 
popularity of a device commonly referred 
to as a roulette wheel. 
atumlly, Murgatroyd' ·chool work 
suffer cl a a l'esult of hi pr occupation 
with the business of collecting and pay­
ing off bets on the wheel. Well along 
on the road to success recently traveled 
by th::it bird in the gilded cag (Y. A., I 
believe he is called) , Murgatroyd soon 
did an ·abrupt about-face and tarted 
dov.-n hill. Although he . till ha the name 
of a wheel on the campus, he is in im­
minent danger of leaving this institu­
tion for a more favorable location to 
the north of the campus. 
(Contintled on Page 55) 
September 
GIRL OF THE MO NTH 


A junior speech major from Big "D," Pal is a Delta Zeta and is ready for a big rush season. She is in the Orange Jackels, YWCA, Forensica, and tho Dallas Club. Asked about her plans for the fu­ture, Pat said, "It all depends on tho fellows I meet this year." She was a Bluebonnet Bello Nominee, 
naturally. 
SEPTEMBER 1947 
.. 
, 
• 


• 




LAWS 



. . . and if you're watching the fashion story, you're seeing longer skirts, sloping shoulders, cinched-in waists and the rest. In other words, come foll, there'll be a BIG departure in feminine fashion-and the brood-shouldered, lean look that turned masculine eyes only yester­day will be strictly for the annals of seasons post! 
Sketched here is an exciting offering of campus clothes from some of Austin's fine fashion stores. You'll see that clossics remain good; that you're to look as noat as the pin for class hours .. . and in the so,ial whirl, as feminine as a flounce; in feet, you'll see that fashion writes her own laws, yes; cut with a wonderful, lenient and varied hand! 
FASHION WRITES IN A DASHING 
make in 
\ FASHION WRITES IN A LONG HAND Note the long-slim skirt and the ti9htlt buttoned treatment. For excitement, this two-piece wool dress is a virtual holid~ for str.ipes-multicolored ones going crosswise, alternated with quiet gray. From Marie Antoinette. 
~ \ 
i 
I 


ION WRITES IN A FREE HAND : 
coat ever hod flare, this is it! and yards of swash-buckle in the generous, deep-cuffed sleeves . . 
all, a face-flattering hood. yet, it's fine wool gobordinel 
T. H. Williams 
-ilON WRITES IN A PRETIY HAND 
pet beads wonder in o graceful motif 
the pink crepe top of this a#ernoon , ... a gently draped black skirt gives it ove manner. Perfect for tea-time, dote-time, time after noon. From Goodfriends. 
L 10N WRITES IN A LAVISH HAND:
I1~veliest lady of them all-
in • black marquisette boll gown oppliqued lace top. Flesh-tint olk actually makes it • drop shoulder , heralding on important fashion trend . 
Yoring's.
~ 
I 

i 
Assembled and produced 
for the Ranger by the Staff of the ADVA CE AD1 ERTISI G AGE CY 

-· 

FOUNTAIN 
(Conliuued from Page Jl) 
national life, disrupted by the ivil War, but brought together by World War I. 
The ship of a united and victoriou. 
America carries two ma siv male fig­
ures, depicting the rugged Army and 
avy. The winged center figure of o­
lumbia, holding aloft the torch of en­
light nment and fruitful labor, is sym­
bolic of America in victory. The eagle 
signifie. the nation undivided. 
Th ship is being drawn across the 
oc an to give democracy its place in 
ivilization. The center eahor e is 
riderless, r pr . enting the uncontrolled 
I recs of mob hyst ria, while th two 
r maining horses, ridden and controll cl 
by Triton., d pict the value of man­
power. 
The Memorial is dedicated to the men 
and women of the Confederacy and to 
those of the nation "who gave of their 
poss ssions and of their live that free 
governm nt be made secure to the peo­
pl . of the earth." On the wall at the 
rear of the fountain are the names of 
th 96 Univer ity dead of World War I. 
Th~ Latin quotations, from Cicero, are 
translated: "The life given us by na­
ture is brief, but the memory of a life 
well . pent is everlasting" and "Oh, happy 
iR that death which nature demands of 
;tll providing one falls in serving his 
country." 
* * 

Three thousand gallons of water a minute flow from the underground mo­tor room over the cataract of the Foun­tain, cascading from one pool into the next. Economically enough, the water returns to the motor room through large pipes and i used over and over. 
Thus Major Littlefield's sincere and 
11:a1·gantuan Memorial has come to be a big part of University life and indica­tions are that it will remain o. The sea­h rs s will continue to rare and spew water, Sunday sight-seers will stop to marvel, and it will remain a best-seller on the Austin postcard racks. Da ring co-eds will climb out on the hip Amer­ica to fe 1 the massive bicep of sol­d i r and sailor. Lover will be drawn unfailingly to the vicinity despite the floodlight . Some tudents may insist again, as they did in 1944, that there is an alligator making hi home there. 
A few will remember what Major Lit­tlefield wanted the Memorial to mean, and many will never know or care. Yet even its critic know that the campus would seem barren without it now. 
And de pite her decorous appearance, 
olumbia will probably appear again 
ome morning as she did before the war, shocking the 8 o'clock clas -goers in an oversize bra siere, put on her by omc student thoughtful of the cold. 
3b 


CAMPUS PERSONALITIES: 

THE CUL~1ER SISTERS 
BEAUTY RUNS IN THE FAMILY 
These charming and talented Culver sisters, Dollye and Sallye, are a true product of "The Friendly City," having resided here all of their 'teen year's. Taking them one at a time, we discover the following: Dollye, 18, i.; a . ophomore and majoring in costu me lcsi~ning with a yen to do court reporting. Vitalized :tatistics read: height 5'7", weight 125; she's a brownette with sparkling gray­green eyes. Her interests range from hor eback riding, wimming and tenni , to fashion modeling, stenographic work and dancing. 
Of men Dollye wants "a variety of personalities; they must be peppy, and have other interests besides school books." 
Dollye placed second in a recent "Miss Austin" bathing beauty contest. Bu ily engaged sketching Dollye is 
Sallye, 19, al o a sophomore, and who is an Art Major with a definite flair for fa hion advertising. 
She'. a well-constructed 5'9" grcen­cyed blonde. 
As to hobbies, Sallye Ii ·ts as her fav­orites "all active sports." While on the !;crious side, he leans to drawing fash­ion ad and modeling for local fashion shop .. She thinks men should try to be "tall, since1·e, ambitious and good danc­cn;. A sense of humor help too." Last spring, Sallye repr-e~ented Texas as "Miss otton" at a Memphis cotton 
festival. 
Neithe1· girl would reveal which has the better luck at handling men. The Culver sisters seem to always have 
plenty of men on hand to handle. BILL SEARS 
SE PTEMBER 1947 

Lovely Dell 8rodford, Texas University's Sweet­heart of \946-47, models Swonsdawn's fol\ suit classic of Mtron pure worsted beige tweed Unique
stnpe treatment tn brown accents the suit's decidedly new, 1mpeccoble toilonng details Miss 8rodford's 
hot 1s o Vero Whistler ongmal. 809, by A. Sonner 
Gloves, by Hansen. Gold-metal "Peltcon" cltp, b; 
Cohn From our exclusive collection of campus fashions. 

A THRILL TO 
OPEN! 


It's oxciting ' to open a corsago box that contains distinctivo flowers arranged in an original design 
from 
l NI VEHSITY  
'3-foii1t  
2348 Guadalupe DO LLY MAUD E HAR,RIS  Phone 3594  
Manager  

A TREAT IN STORE 

at 

specializing in fine Italian foods 
Just off the drag at 23rd 
• 
Steaks 

• 
Omelettes 

• 
Mexican Dishes 


Open Closed 
11.00 a.m.-8:00 p.m. Wednesday 
THE WHEEL 

(ContinU«l from Page 1'!) 
Flickered uncertainly above the bobbing heads. 
Professor Burton f on died in his hand 
A travel folder-"Storied Land of Greece," 
And put a hundred chips along the board, 
And watched them go: the red and black 
Dream of tomorrow, ever unfulfilled. 
Losing, he held the rumpled folder up 
To his old eyes, then put the thing away 
Inside the thick book underneath his arm 
And turned and left the door for Market Street. 

Along the wind-whipped street, the time of year 
Clattered at Clarence's bones and clacked his 

teeth. He felt the winter tugging at his face And fingering the collar of his coat, And, never changing step, he passed the walk Which turned directly into Blackburn House. He saw the cold, blank windows of the roo~11, Remembering the clothes sprawled on the floor, The bed unmade, the six-bit gin left out. Tomorrow, as he thought, they would tear down The time-streaked door and then call in Chief 
Grimes To hunt him down. But, barring some bad luck, Clarence would be two hundred miles across the 
state. This is the way he planned the wheel to turn, Watching the players hunched along the board, Kissing the chips with desperate, shaky hands. The take was heavy. Clarence watched it pile Into his coffer-neatly banded bills. Early that evening he had set his mind Into the gamble, and at two o'clock, When Borden started closing up the place, Clarence wrapped the neatly banded bills Into a package. Locking up the safe, He waved the boss goodbye and made the street Sunday at three a. m., and cold as ice. 
Clarence the croupier bit down a cough, 
Stopping to contemplate the time of night 
Held for a second on the jerking dial 
Of last year's Ingersoll, then made his way 
Up the platform where the trains came in. 
He pressed the package to his other hand, 
Fingering nervously the ill-tied string, 
Shifting his tired feet. 

The three-fifteen Whined in the darkness, coming in to town . 
. ·---·· -·-· ----------------------------­
The scene was in the reading room "All this stuff you read in college of a large public library. A man was magazines is a bunch of hooey. I'm a reading birth and death statistics. Sud­college girl and I haven't smoked, necked denly he turned to the man on his right or drunk beer yet." and said, "Do you know that every time "How long yuh been in college?" I breathe a man dies?" "I just registered." -Sob 
"Very interestinit," replied the stran­ger. "Why don't you chew gum?" 
"Madam, may I see your daughter?"-Frivol 
"No; get out and stay out!" "But madam, see this badge. I'm re­He : "I've loved you more than you spectable. I'm a detective." know." "Oh, I'm sorry; come right in. I She: "How dare you take advantage thought it was a fraternity pin." of me when I'm drunk!" -Drexerd 
Drunkard-"Aw, lemme alone. No­An old-fashioned girl blushes when body cl!res if I drink myself to death!" she is embarrassed, but a modern girl Host-"I do; you're using my liquor." is embarrassed when she blushes. -Punch Bo"! -Exchange 
SEPTEMBER 1947 

REYnOLDS. PEnLAnD 

AUSTIN AND DALLAS 

6WHEN YOU ARRIVE ON THE FORTY ACRES 
. . . the Eyes of Texas are upon you . Our ~usiness, of course, is keeping in sight (on you ) the latest and smartest of campus-styled clothing that is setting the pace on the University campus. Drop in to see us and do some trying on soon. We'll be looking for you . 
Sketched, a campus-bound Reynolds-Penland outfit featuring a gabardine suit and topcoat by Renwood. The suit and topcoat each $50 
TEXAS RANGER 

"FAMOUS BRANDS" 


Make the Toggery your campus headquarters for notionally advertised merchandise 
ARROW SHIRTS , TIES  INTERWOVEN  SOX  
CATALINA SWEATERS  BERG HATS  
MICHAEL STERN SUITS  BOTANY TIES  
VAN HEUSEN SHIRTS  WEMBL Y TIES  
CROSBY SQUARE SHOES  HICKOK BELTS  

SWANK JEWELRY 
THE TOGGERY 

at the University of Texas 
SWEATT 
(Continiud from Pa.ge ;20) 

est, then by the same token it seemingly would sustain me in any choice which would exclude absurdity. 
I have readily consented to expl9re this subject in the Texas Ranger for several reasons (and bear in mind that up to this point in the processing of the case, I have been perfectly content to remain silent). As nn initial reason and in keeping with my legal ambition, I welcome this opportunity to plead my own case. Ho,...:ver, I hasten to attri­bute any error in my technique to the fact that events thus far have forced me to the reversed training schedule of taking my laboratory experience BE­FORE I have had the privilege of taking any basic theory. 
As a second reason, I feel perfectly free to accept the advantages offered by the Texas Ranger as a source for ex­pressing these views. This strikes me as a very decided advantage in that the facts advanced are much less subject to having distorted interpretations placed upon them here than they would have in other sources that have been offered in recent months. I hasten to qualify this second reason not upon any assump­tion that "the University of Texa:< stu­dent body" can be solidly herded into either camp of negative or positive re­action, for to assume such would find me a victim of the generalizing that I have criticized. It is qualified rather, upon the greater degree of mental objectivity to be found in a university center. 
Indeed, as far as attitudes regarding the problem of segregated education are involved, unanimity of opinion does not exist anywhere. Very assuredly, I did not find such a state at Michigan Uni­versity during my study there toward the master's degree. And yet, I did find a sense of self-discipline expected in any educational center, and which permitted individuals to place a greater degree of importance upon one's immediate edu­cational interest than upon the race or color of the person sitting in an adja­cent seat. To be sure, they were (at least) less inclined to plant tacks in each other's seats. So right or wrong, I am inclined to feel that truth is subject to a fairer hearing in institutions where the quest for truth is stressed (so I am told), than in a less self-conscious area of society in which a lie can be believed with a clear conscience. 
As a final important reason for speak­
ing out now, I welcome the opportunity 
to confine the subject to its limited scope 
of educational segregation. And for what 
it might mean in this connection, I 
would want it frankly understood that as 
far as I am concerned, this problem 
cannot be resolved by any answer given 
the scapegoat question, "Would you want 
your sister to marry a Negro?" I am 
already happily married-and there are 
(Continued on Page 42) 
SEPTEMBER 1947 
I I I I 
I ! 

BE THRIFTY 

BUY YOUR BOOKS AND SUPPLIES 
FROM YOUR OWN STORE 

• 


Save your cash register receipts-turn them in during Dead Week in January and share in the savings, paid in cash during exam period in January. 
• 


20 % dividend has been paid last five years. Ask for convenient envelope to keep your re­ceipts in. 
• 


8 UNIVERSITY CO-OP@ 

Operated by Students and Faculty for mutual benefit 
TEXAS RANGER 

QUALITY FABlllC 
Distinctive Tailoring 
Men who want their money's 
worth buy here. Right now is the 
time to select your fall suit. 
Outstanding styles, superior fob­rics, unsurpassed workmanship and tailoring -at the right price. 

Let U• measure you today. 
• 

SCHWARTZ 
CUSTOM TAILORS 
• 
LOUIS ROSE 


b09 Brazos Phone 49-45 
SWEATT 
(Continued from J'age 40) 

laws against bigamy in this country. My personal concern with segregation does not exceed my immediate interest in a ti1·st class legal education. This directly :ind necessarily involves only those areas of society which will extend basic ECO­NOMIC OPPORTUNITIES completely unlimited by the characteristic and in­herent discriminations of segregation. And uftt•r eight years of married life, I have come to know positively that the color of a wife has nothing to do with those features of one's life. In direct contrnst, how much one receives for lal:or, and educational preparation for meeting life's 1·espectable responsibil­ities are basic interests and necessities. 
The very fact that the state provides fumls (though tragically inadequate) !or Negroes to study the professions in northern and eastern schools justifies my conclusion that their reason for do­ing so is wholly void of the social fears often expressed. This is to say that the race or color of the student who is to sit beside them up there is obviously of no concern, but the dollars and cents saved Ly sending them there IS. 
As a twin reason for this fundamental­ly siamese, there is a definite relation­dlip between the persistency of mass ig·norance in the South and the type of economy upon which the section operates, And I might add that I refer anyone in­terested in a thoroughly readable analy­sis of this latter charge to a series of speeches delivered by Senato1· Benjamin Harvey Hill of Georgia (1870). Funda­mentally, the facts yet apply. 
Having thus stripped the subject of it. related trappings, and confined it strictly ' to its limited reference to education (and equally important-to Heman Marion Sweatt as an individual applicant), I can now give you my reason for wanting to study law at Texas University. 
My answer simply and conclusively is: For the same reason that there are other Texans studying there. It is the best law school in Texas, and the only one that can offe1· me equal training to that available for other students. 
Please remember that I asked fo1· Edu­cation-not NEGRO EDUCATION. And facts will unquestionably demonstrate a vast difference between the two. In fact, sufficient difference to guarantee that Prairie View will never find itself faced : with an entrance application from a nor­mal White student. 
"I'll give a million for your thoughts." 
"My thoughts aren't worth a dime." 
"Whd ue you thinking about?" 
"You!' 

Oh, dear, I've missed you so much­and she raised the revolver and tried again. 
42 SEPTEMBER 1947 




There'll be Lotsa 
TIMES--­
• 
FOOTBALL GAMES 

• 
DANCES 

• 
BIRTHDAYS 

• 
THAT SPECIAL DATE 


When fine flowers give th e right 
Stort the yeo r with o florist unusuol in design & price. 

Son Jocinto ot 26th 


America's Foremost Musical Attractions 
TOM McELROY 
Exclusive Agent for 

TOURING NAME BANDS VAN KIRKPATRIC 
Rob't E. Lee Holl Telephone 8-oIo9 
touch. 

Today's record collector is, like every­one else, a victim of musical inflation. Never before in the history of the re­cording industry have so many people paid so much for such poor music. Therefore, it is the sincere purpose of this column to aid in selecting the best musical values from the current crop of recordings every month. 
Before proceeding with this month's supply, let us state the criteria used in making our selections of so-called popu­lar recordings : 
(1) The music should have good jazz feeling, expression and taste; (2) orig­inality of solos, tunes, and arrangements should be present; (3) high quality of musical expression, technique and tone should be maintained; (4) over-all pres­entation should assemble these qualities in a harmonious pattern, and (5) the quality of the recording and high fide!­
Bringing to You 

ity of reproduction of the music itself should be considered. 
I have just listened to the latest out­put, and a brisk concoction of aspirin and castor oil would still fail to remove the bad taste in my mouth. Frank Sina­tra, Perry Como and Crosby are still tonsiling the same old tripe. Dinah Shore and Jo Stafford are still putting the recording engineers to sleep. Only Ella Fitzgerald and Frankie Laine have kept the vocal department worthwhile. 
Such big-name bands as Harry James, Frankie Carle, Tex Beneke, Gene Krupa, Tommy and Jimmy Dorsey, and Kay Kyser, to name a very few, are still just musical riveters on the Tin Pan Alley assembly line. Lesser-known outfits such as Ray McKinley, Claude Tohrnhill, Stan Kenton and Billy Butterfield are attempt­ing to maintain a high standard of music, but are bucking territ\c obstacles, too many of them being created by the big, ultra-conservative recording com­panies. 
Recorded jazz has been selling today as never before, and the "big-four" firms, Victor, Columbia, Decca and Cap­itol, with few exceptions, are simply not producing, or allowing their bands to record, good jazz. As a result, in order to revive recent heavy sales slumps, many firms are re-issuing old platters from their forgotten archives. Colum­bia's mammoth and impressive list of old-timers should be available at "drag" record shops now. 
With this in mind, we have only a couple of records worth mentioning in our recorded reverie this month: 
Ella Fitzgerald has recently released two of the most stimulating vocal discs of the year. Ella does a masterful job of phrasing in That's My Desire, and turns her voice into a horn in a vivid version of Gershwin's Oh, Lady Be Good (Decca). 
The only orchestral offering worthy of mention is former Benny Goodman, Tommy Dorsey star trumpter, Ziggy Elman's And the Angel's Sing and Three Little Words coupling (M-G-M). Ziggy's M-G-M version of the former is a r,peat performance of the samj! solo which brought him much acclaim with B,nny Goodman on Victor. Ziggy's trump11t is a bit too close to the mike on his solo and clouds his tone. Virginia Maxey's vocal chorus falls short of Helen For­
(Continued on Page 56) 
SEPTEMBER 1947 

SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUTI 


by 
NOLAN SIMS 

DRISK ILL HOTEL 
12'4 E. 6th ST. 
TELEPHONE 
or off Driskill Lobby 
2-71>63 

SU ITS SPORT COATS TUXEDOS 

CUSTOM TAILORED SHI RTS 
TEXAS RAN6ER 
'45 
S pecialists in the Examination of the Eyes and the Fitting of Glasses. 

Where the Students Get Their Glasses 


DRINK 
(Continned from Page 19) 

Come on, they said in that little dump in North Africa, it's a long war, and you might get knoC'ked off tomorrow. All cats are grey in the dark. No thanks, I'll stay hen• with some wine or a pint of bad likker, whatever they have in this hole. I've got a girl waiting for me down in the forks of the creek. I'll wait for you, she said. Milking the cows and go­ing to church. Three years waiting to see Ellen. But Joe Tyler was doing nil that hard work in the fields. 
He came to the last of the trees where the bank sloped to the white sand of the creek. Keep under cover. He dropped down behind the trunk of a large tree with roots spreading over the ground. Keep your head down, soldier. He took the Luger out of his pocket. Well, no­body here knew he had it. He had taken it out of the stuff one of those three Krauts had left on the bank of the ir­rigation ditch, and wrapped it in his khaki socks. They had known at the hospital, of course, but the nur:;;es didn't give a damn what you took for sou­venirs. Take it easy, General, we're• shipping you hack to the States to get you fixed up.... 
.Joe Tyler had put down the little bun­dle of towel and soap, and kicked off his heavy shoes. Stepped out of his denim 
"MY IDEAL 

SHOP" 


for the latest in campus fashions at reasonable prices 

on the drag 
25 1b Guadalupe 


pants and blue shirt and dropped his shorts. His back was muscled and tan, down to the waist, from working in the field. Used to be young men on the farm had a criss-cross pattern on their backs from the straps of their overalls. Stepped into the vrater and splashed him­self, lathering with the soap and sing­ing.... Rye whiskey, rye whiskey, know you of old . . . 
It had always been good swimming here in the old days, where the high bank on the othl'r side of the creek turned buck after running straight for the length of the field. Cool, clean. .. . You rob my poor pockets of silver and gold. No water like that in North Africa. Never take a drink until you've doctored the water. But when you walk for miles in the hot sand, and hell, the next step's always the last one. Dirty water in the inig~tion ditch where the three Krauts were bathing and washing their clothes. Shoot first, and don't take prisoners if it's too much trouble. . . . The blood spurting from the tan backs. One of the Krauts had run a little way, screaming in German. The jarring of the auto­matic ... 
The Luger was in his hand, the metal warm. Jo<' Tyler's hack, tan under the creamy soap, and the sun bright on white sand. Ellen and Joe, they said. Ellen and Joe ... I'll eat when I'm hun­gry, I'll drink when I'm dry ... 
He shifted his weight. Keep your head down, take cover. The pain shot up into his groin as he straightened his leg, lying tense, and he remembered the hot sun off the rocks, and the next step. ... Sand exploding under him, and the 0. D. pants ripped off bleeding flesh, his own. Screaming, screaming.... If rye whis­key don't kill me, I'll live till I die ... 
Shoot first and ask questions afte1·, squeeze the trigger easy, don't jerk at it ... easy. 
Joe Tyler fell forward, the milky suds washing off into the green pool. Drifted from the middle of his back and spread at the top of the water. Cool, clean ... The Luger dropped from his hand. Pain easier now. 
I'll wait for you, she said. 

"But who wenh to?" 
SEPTEMBER 1947 



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with these understanding officer . 
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E. P. CRAVEN . Vice-President WALTER BOH . Vi e-President l.EO KUHN, ashier W. . KE NEDY, Asst Vice-President 
A 	G. DeZA Y ALA. pecial Represent-JOE S. DUNLAP. Assistant Cashier ative WILLIAM K HN. Assistant Cashier 
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KAY-VET-YOUR BEST LISTENING BET 
1300 

ON EVERYBODY'S DIAL 

(Continued from Page 15) 
and likelihood of being a credit to the 
profession are qualifications considered. 

The honorary fraternity is Phi Delta Phi. An honor organization known as the order of COIF, which is the highest scholastic honor attainable at gradua­tion time is made by about 10 per cent of the class. During the last year, an­other national legal fraternity has started a chapter here at the University -Phi Alpha Delta. 
In step with modern educational trends, the Law School tries to tie in as much practical experience as possible with the lectures and classroom work. The three main ventures in this prac­tical field are the Texas Law Review, the Legal Aid Clinic, and the Moot Court. 
The Law Review is a periodical edited six times a year by a handful of the outstanding undergraduate students. To be selected by the faculty to fill one of the editorial posts is one of the highest scholastic honors attainable in the school. The Review contains cuse notes, commen­taries, and book reviews. Parker C. Fielder, editor-in-chief for the current year, estimates that 100 hours of work are required to write a comment, and at least 40 to turn out a case note. All work is done under faculty supervision and the Review, which has the largest circulation of any such publication in the nation, is widely read in the profes­sional world as well as in other schools. 
The Legal Aid Clinic gives students practical experience in working with actual clients. The Clinic is conducted for persons needing legal aid and advice who are unable to pay for the services of an attorney. The law students, under the supervision of Woodrow W. Patter­son, a practicing attorney in Austin, help to gather information, draw up papers, and prepare cases for court if necessary. Although they are not per­mitted to argue a case in court until they have passed the Bar examination, they usually are permitted to aid in the proceedings. About half of the Legal Aid Clinic's clients are University stu­dents and the most common concern housing and evictions, divorce proceed­ings, v.;lls and property suits. 
The Moot Court is under the direction of S. T. Morris, who is, at 27, ttte youngest professor on the staff. A grad­uate of the Law School in 1946, he holds the rank of Assistant Professor. The Moot Court is somewhat of a cross be­tween a classroom recitation and a relay race. Students argue cases in the court during the year, four persons at a time, and at the last of the semester the four best case-handlers are awarded prizes. 
As to the future of the Law, most per­sons who were questioned on the sub­ject seemed to think that Laws are here to stay. As long as man must have rules to live by there 'must be those who can 
SEPTEMBER 1947 


interpret and apply the rules fairly. The Law, like other phases of our civilized existence, is constantly becoming more involved, rather than the converse. Every time someone invents something or has a new idea there must be a new law or a new interpretation to govern its use. 
One of the lucrative fields for lawyers in the Southwest, and one in which Texas specializes, is the study of oil and gas law. Students are coming to the University from all over the nation for instruction in this line. 
The study of law is no longer an ex­clusive male occupation, no more than geology or engineering. There are to­day about a dozen young women delving into Blackstone, among them the Sweet­heart of the University of Texas, Del Bradford. Most of the girls who go into law do so with the intention of practic­ing, because getting an LL. B. isn't something you do just to be different. 
Besides Del, there are enough other 
law students who are taking a very ac­
tive part in University social and polit­
ical affairs to squelch any intimation of 
reticence. First on the list, of course, 
is Brad Bourland, president of the Stu­
dents' Association. 
Other names which are well-known 
all over the campus are Fritz Lyne (who 
possibly holds some sort of record for 
being appointed to high student offices); 
Orrin Johnson, president of the Univer­
sity Bar Association last year, and Paul 
Cook, president this year (this office 
corresponds to being class president of 
the entire Law School). There are 30 
members of th~ Fiftieth Legislature who 
are University students, and 24 of these 
are law students. 
Peregrinus governs them all. He, or 
it, is omnipresent in every classroom. 
He is in the line when students walk 
t.hrough the Dean's office to get their 
femester's grades. He attends the grad­
uation ceremonies and takes the Bar 
examination with each University can­
ditiate. He goes into law offices all 
over Texas and the nation, wherever a 
University graduate settles. It is not 
frivolous to say that Peregrinus is the 
symbol of the integrity, efficiency, and 
the spirit of a job well done that makes 
the University of Texas School of Law 
proud of its repuation, and makes the 
students proud of their school. 
An impetuous young Williams student named Wimpfheimer negotiated a date with a pair of Siamese twins one night. "Have yourself a good time?" asked his awe-stricken roommate later. "Well," re­plied Wimpfheimer, ~·yes and no." 
Father: Has our daughter read "What Every Girl Should Kr.ow!" Mother: Yes, and she sent seven pages of suggestions to the author. -Yellow Jacket 
TEX.'.S RAN.jEa 

Lady, take a bow. 
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Come and see Carlye's all wool flannels and jerseys, men's wear worsteds, 
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2404 Guadalupe 
SAVE THOSE 
MEMORABLE 
MOMENTS ­
WITH PICTURES 
by 
STANLEY 
DEPWE 

2418 Guadalupe 
Parties 
Fashion 
Commercial 
Baby Pictures 

Father : Say, it's two o'clock. Do you

Phone 2-2752 think you can stay all night? Frat Man : I'll have to telephone home firAt. 


By Johansen 

the style shop of Austin 
b18 Congress 

MR. PONG 
(Continued from Page 16) 

holdings were dumped on the market, and pricP.s began to sag. On Thursday, October 24, 1929, 120,800,000 shares of International Ping Pong Preferred were unloaded. That did it. 
Prices dropped, foreign trade fell, fac­tories curtailed production, or closed their doors never to reopen them, real estate declined, banks went under, wages were cut drastically and unemployment figures began to mount. Foreign nations fell into the abyss of depression and the natives in the Northern Shan States of Eastern China were forced to eat ping pong balls instead of fish balls. 
The CCC blamed the entire mishap on the Federal Industrial Economic Negation Department, whic}\ in tum placed the blame squarely on the shoul­ders of Samuel P. Pong, the er-stwhile inventor nf the ping pong ball. 
A senate investigation wae conducted 

and on the twelfth of Novefllber, 1929, 
Samuel Pong was sentenced by the Su­
preme Court to death by han~ing. 
A complete and detailed ~escription of the events leading up to the depres­11ion was printed in the December 26 issue of the Congressional Rec:ord, with ample praise heaped upon on the head of the CCC. The CCC in turn heaped praise, as well as several volumes of fiowery memoranda, on the head of FIEND. 
The b:>dy 	of Samuel P. Pong, with a 

stake through the liver, lies in an un· 
marked grave in southern Michigan. 
R. 	I. P. -GEORGE WARMACK 
SEPTEMBER 	1947 


iJnuitation to .-flaminj 
Your lesson for today 1s simply this : If you want to look glamorous, have your pictures made where your personality is studied and dramatized ­where you are made to look as you ho e dreamed, where advice on mo e-up, hair-do, and clothes is cheerfully given. 
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On the Drag 
Opposite 
Hogg Auditorium 

PROFESSORS 
(ConMnued f rorn Page 27) 
classroom discussion i. difficult to bring 
off. One professor says, for instance, 
"When I'm too tired or lazy to teach, I 
lecture." (Some of our best teachers u e 
the lecture method exclusively, of course 
-you can't make any set rule. At lea t 
we're not going to try.) 
onsidering the illiteracy of most high school graduates, g tting the majority of univer ity students to read and think for themselves (which most ducators agree is the object of higher education) is a large order, even for the qualified teacher. For the unqualified, it is an impossibility. Yet most universities have almost no way of judging a teach­er's competence. The University of Chi­cago makes sizeable awards for out­standing instruction, but that's rare. In research, the amount of material-pub­lished may serve as a quantitative if not a qualitative indication, but there are too many people around who, like Dr. Binge, teach because it's part of the job. Jacques Barzun, discussing The Teacher in America, said: 
Many people who pass as profes­
sional teachers are merely "connected with education." They live on the fringes of the academic army-campus followers, as it were-though too often it is they who have the honors and emoluments while the main body lives 
on short rations. 
Dr. Binge, who publishes reams of ma­terial on hardware prices from 1910 to 1912, is doing fine. 
Considering the fact that your profes­sor gets so little out of it, the wonder is that there are any good teachers around. So if you have a professor who puts his heart and soul into his classroom performance, rejoice. You ain't never had it so good. 

Small Boy: "Dad, is Rotterdam a bad word?" 
Dad : "Why, no, son. It's the name of a city." 
Small Boy : "Well, sister ate all my candy and I hope it'll Rotterdam teeth out." 
52 
SEPTEMBER 1947 

STUDENTS 
(Continued from Page 26) 

Why did the e parents want their chil­dren to get a general education? Plan II till goe on, but it may eventually drown in the sea of specialized medioc­rity. 
ote: The vtriter i not and never ha been a member of the Plan IT staff. 
MEOW 

The boy was prob.ably mentally defi­cient and an examination was being conducted. 
"How many ears ha a cat?'" queried th p ychologi t. 
"Two," replied the lad in tantly. 
"And how many eyes ha a cat?" 
"Two." 
"And how many leg has a cat?" 
" ay, Doc," asked the boy, "didn't you ver s a cat?" -Drexerd 

Minister: · "And how my littl lad today?" Little Lad : "Ssh l ot o loud. Dad might hear." 
Murgatroyd 
Wa a cow more athletic than 
Mudd rly 
h hopped a picket fence and was 
Destroyed. 
dderly. -Pup 
It wa th first time she had been to 

dinn r with th m, end they smiled indul­
gently a she refu sed a whiskey and 
·oda. 

"I never touched it in my life," he ex plained. "Why not try it?" urged her ho t. " if you like the ta te." 
he blushed and hyly con nted, and he poured h r out a mixture which he d licately put to her lip . 
After the first wallow, he grimac d and placed the gla on th tab! . "This isn't bourbon; it's Scotch!" 
-Flot am 

Fri nd : see your on i home from college. Father: Oh, I thought someone had :tolen the ar. 
He: Your hu band i a brilliant look­ing man. I uppo he know everything. She: Don't be illy! He doe n't us-P ct a thing. -The Owl 
Co-ed: "I don't think hould get zero in this exam." Prof: "I know it, but it' the lowest mark there is." 
TEXAS RANGER 

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high I. Q.* 

There's an amazingly high Interest Quota• in this classic done in the new manner by Junior Guild. Its smooth top gently molds your young figure, the skirt has a graceful walking flare ... and the Buster Brown bow and waist-diminishing wide belt play up ybur own special prettiness. Done in wonderful rayon gabardine. 
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FOR THE COLLEGE GIRL 

"on the drag" 


for dinners and luncheons of perfection invite your guests to the Georgian Tea Room . 
For entertaining a special friend or a sorority, club, organi­zation or fraternity, the handsome back­ground, perfect service and excellent food are all that you could desire. Telephone 5532 for reservations. 
In the beautiful Federated 
Women's Club Building 

~EOR~IAN 

cyBA RooM 
Hth AND SAN GABRIEL 


GOVERNMENT 
(Continu d fro1n Pag<J 30) 

committ r at d and appointed by the president and a mbly. The recent driv to improve the University Health 
ervice, which terminated in desirable, though not complete, improvement, is an xampl . 
Little mor than a month has passed 

·inc comp! tion of two brand new fire 
scap n the Journalism building. A pot ntial d ath trap partially eliminated. Before fire scapes wer in tall d the only mean of scape was on narrow and wholly inadequate stairway. On this project two branches of student govern­ment united forces. Administration of­ficials 1·emedied a deplorable situation only after a strong editorial campaign by The Daily Texan, supported by an As­sembly investigation. 
Another Ass mbly committee is now exploring the po sibility of expanding Univer ity Co-operative housing. Hav­ing determined that University-owned hou es are not available, the committe ha turned its efforts toward procuring privately-owned real estate. Whether or not the committee will ucceed i·emains to be een, but its objective is admirable in that it proposes not only to improve existing conditions but al o to provide for the future-when the day of veterans ha pa sed and more and more students will be eeking economical housing. 
When a student enters the Co-op Book Store to make a purchase he is dealing with an establishment partly owned and controlled by students. Management of the tore is directed by a board com­p d of four administration m mbers and four students, who are responsible to th student Pre ident and Assembly. 
Each year the Assembly elects one of its own members to the Athletic Coun­cil. With the new stadium additions in sight for 1948 it is doubly impo1·tant who serves on the Athletic Council. The right man, ·with concerted student back­ing, could probably do much to obtain better seats for the student body. 
Tran cending all other phases of stu­dent government in contact with the en­tire student body is Texas Student Pub­lications, Inc., publishers of The Daily Texan, The Texas Ranger, and The Cac­tus. Editors and Associate Editors of the three are elected along with the other officers. It is their duty to gather, interpret, and disseminate all informa­tion concerning University affairs. All three appoint their own staffs, with ap­proval of the Board of Publications. Ad­ditional safeguard is provided here. Two Assembly members and the President serve on the Board. 
Student government may be described briefly as a balanced mechanism de­signed to absorb a multiplicity of ideas, complaints, and desires, and translate them into constructive action. For this purpo e the Assembly meets on the sec­ond and fourth Thursday of each month. 
SEPTEMBER 19-47 
Every person enrolled in the University is privileged to attend, just as he is en­titled to vote in the fall and spring elec­tions. 
With the preceding illu trations and example in mind it becomes apparent that, though it i far from perfect, the StudenUi' A ociation fill a huge gap in Univ r ity life. Whether it functions smoothly and with preci ion is directly dependent on its con tituency, each and every tudent. 
The fir t requisite of an effective stu­dent government i far-reaching support and active co-operation of the entire student body. Ten thousand voices will certainly bring more results than a hun­dr d. It is disappointing to note that only 5,484 of 16,823 voted in the general 
I ctions la t spring. 
RANGING 
(Continued fr01n Page 11) 
sight. There would have been one ad­vantage--we could have called the other story " hack-time at Texas." 
So here is the first Ranger for this y ar. 
--0­
There's a certain Mr. Moerke, uper­visor of the Ranger among other things, who keeps screaming "Deadline'" at us, insisting we get all art work to the en­gravers and copy to the printers. At this moment he is standing in the door say­ing, "Finish that column and let's go to press!" 
So ---­
New Arrival: Could you direct me to the library? Moose: Sorry, I've only been here four years myself. -Caveman 
BEST CIRCLES 
(Continued fr01n Page92) 
Even in passing, however, Murgatroyd will have left his mark. The latest re­port is that the English department has voted favorably on a propo ition to use the device for determining semester grades on the theory that it will reduce cheating. There wa pronounced oppo­
ition to thi sy tern until one of the more ob ervant members of the faculty pointed out that the lower numbers wer tretched over mo t of the scale, while the higher numbers were all crowded into a smaller portion. 
The final result of Murgatroyd's in­tru ion into the field of higher education mu t b left for history and a specially appointed student investigating commit­tee to decide. As this story went to press, the members of the committee were still bravely hunched over the wheel in various states of attire. The only item of significance was the scarc­ity of Union suits in thi part of the country. 

Right Here On the Drag! 
The widest assortment of clothes for University Men 
Make a habit of coming to Norwood's first for fine 
clothing. Whether 
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let us tailor it especially for you. 
You'll like our selection of domestic and imported fobrics 
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if it is a wide variety of well-cooked and pleasant­ly served food that you want 

1s really reason­able prices that you seek in these days of high costs and meager portions 
if you want the place 
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then___ 
the answer to all your quests is TWO AIR-CONDITIONED 
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RECORD 
( ontinued fro1n Page 44) 

rests' v r ion on the original BG side. "Words" is good dance with Zig's horn showing too much restraint and too much phrasing in the Harry James manner. More originality would have helped both 
tunes  enormou ly.  
But  that'  the  chief  ailment  of  the  
mu  ic  fi Id  today.  

"My wife ran off with the but! r." 
"What a shame." 
"I'm satisfied. Furthermore, my house 

burned  down  and  I  haven't  any insur­ 
ance."  
"Too bad."  
"I'm  atisfied,  and  to  cap  everything  

off, business is so bad I'm going bank­rupt, but in spite of everything I'm satisfied." 
"How is that possible with all your misfortunes ?" "I smoke Chesterfields." -Yellow Jacket 
Bride: "You mustn't expect me to g·ive up my girlhood ways all at once." 
Hubby: "That's all right. Go on tak­ing an allowance from your father just as if nothing had happened." 
Fred: Ethel, I'm ashamed of you. I saw that Frenchman in the hall kissing you repeatedly. Why didn't you tell him to stop? 
Ethel: I couldn't, Fred. 
Fred: You couldn't? Why not? 
Ethel: I can't speak French. 
The daughter of a noted financier threw her arms around the neck of the bridegroom-to-be. "Oh, George," she said, "dad's going to give us a check for a present!" 
"Good l Then we'll have the wedding at noon instead of two o'clock! " 
"But why, dear?•:., 
"The banks close ~t three." 

"Albert Is quite a ladiH ' man." 

56 SEPTEMBER 19'47 

"Are you sure you 	are a freshman student from Yokum? " 
MONKEY BUSINESS 
A young Marin , after fighting World War II in Pacific jungle , cam back to hi Alabama farm with a pet monkey. H found that th monkey could pick 
tton faster than he could. So he asked 
hi village banker for a loan with which 
h could buy 100 monkeys and train 
th m to pick cotton at far lower cost 
than by human hand . 
"No," aid the banker, "it's too risky. As o n a you got your monkeys train d, tho e dam yankees would come down h re and free them." 
-Pathfinder 
If I am tudying when you come in, wake me up. 
"Do you drink?" 
"No." 
"Then hold this while I tie my h c." 

Angry father: "What d you mean by bringing my daughter in at thi hour of th morning?" 
ay blad "Had to b at class at s v n." 
"They all laugh d when I tood up in the night club-how wa. I to know r wa und r th table?" 
Wife: "The new maid ha burned the bacon and eggs, darling. Wouldn't you be sati fled with a couple of ki es for breakfast?" 
Hubby: "Sure, 	bring her in." 
A Texan entered a aloon with his wif and three-year-old-on. He ordered lwo traight whi Ides. 
"H y, paw," a ked the kid, "ain't maw a-drinkin'?" -Pup Tent 
PHOTO CREDITS 
Cover: Betty Wallace and Ed Felder. 
Page 24 : James F. Laughead . 
Page 25: Cal Newton. 
Page 36: Betty Wallace. 
All Others: Stanley Depwe. 


THE AMERICA NATIONAL 
BANK 

E:, stablished in 1890, the American Notional Bank has continuously served the Univer­sity end the state of Texas. From a small beginning the deposits of the American National have grown to a total of over $40,000,000.00. 
7he American Notional invites you to open a checking or savings account and to be­come acquainted with its many convenient services. 
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MEMBER OF 
FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION 

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MEMBER OF 
FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM 

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TEXAS RANGER 


"Of course, John, I want to go with you Saturday." 
THE DREAM 

A SHORT SHORT 
By TOM HUNTER 


H put on a little power and taxied out to th end of the runway. As he waited for I ar:in e from the tower he ran throu,,.h the check-off Ii t and a thrill of anticipation went through hi body. He had tried to pretend that it was ju t another flight but as the moment ap­proached when he was to travel faster than the speed of sound he began to feel nervous and excited. 
A thought cros ed his mind; a silly thing that made him grin. Suppose that 
tory wa true and he did overti::ke time and began to grow younger? Laughing at himself for even considering such a thing he concentrated on the final prep­<Hations for the take off. 
In the air at last; now to ee what she could do. The moment he had waited for was at hand. Of cour e it was just another hop that he was paid to make; paid enough so that he could take it easy for a while. But still there was some­thing about it that gets you, the thrill of flying, of flying fa ter than any other living thing. 
. . and WE get 25 to 30 miles a gallon 
at moderate highway speeds 

He had reached altitude now and leveled off for his run. He made a quick mental check and eased on the power. Faster and faster; the needle of the air speed indicator began to climb. He gave her some more power and checked his instruments. She was really traveling now and handling perfectly. He gave it all there was left and the plane surged forward still faster. 
A giddiness swept through him and he saw patches of black. Suddenly a curtain dropped before his eyes. He was no longer in the plane. It was a room, varrue:y familiar, and he was ~t~nding in the center. There wi::s a girl in the corner crouched against the wall. She was a red­head with a cute little turned up nose, and she was frightened and trembling. There was someone else in the room. It was a man with a gun in his hand and 
u. leer on his face. A voice came from behind the gun, "So this is your lover boy; well, see how much good he is to you now." The gun spoke twice, he felt the bullets thud into his body and he f 11 to the floor. 
Suddenly the blackness cleared. He was in the plane and shaking his head to clear his mind. He took a quick look around the cockpit, everything was okay. He had no idea how long he had been out. ow to land this ·thing and go back to his hotel for a good rest. 
He stretched out on the bed with a tall cool glass in his hand. Everything was right with the world. He had the 
SEPTEMBER 1947 


"Would you mind cashing this personal check? " 
Baby Ear of Corn: Mama, where did 
come from? 
Mama Ear of Corn: Hush, dear; the talk brought you.-Pen State Froth 
check for the te t hop and there was a bottle of good Scotch on the dresser. 
His thoughts were interrupted by an urgent knocking at the door. He roused himself and turned the latch. It was the little redhead with the cute turned­up no e from down the hall he had been running around with. 
She brushed by him into the room. She was nervous and frightened. "Please, you've got to help me!" she pleaded. There wa a violent banging on the door, she ran to the corner and crouched there. The knob turned and the door slowly opened. 
ON THE COVER 
Sweetheart Del Bradford, laden with law books, is ready for an­other year on the Forty Acres. Del is from Rock Springs, isn't married, hasn't ever been mar­ried. So far as we know, this is the first time a full-color cover has been used on the Ranger. Scarf and sweater from T. H. Wil­liams. 
Let us help you keep up your neat appearance. 
• 
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• 
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SINCE 1901 
805 CONGRESS AVE. 
Phone 353 1 


A group of u practical lad were drinking our breakfa t and di cu sing off-th -hou ld r bl u es (tho Yoga­controlled cr ations.) 
Our conversation ultimat ly took on the tone of a dirg and " nafu' d" cla s 
chedule became th general ubj ct in tead of that three-lettered word which is usually th predominant topic in such conversations. (One ard nt devotee of Freud was o di appointed and confu ed that he went to class.) We tried to outdo 
ach other telling about our weird sched­ule assignments but it was a fairly even contest. Few, if any, of our classes met in building conventionally associated with the course, and each of us met classes during hours which we normally should have been eating, sleeping, 0 1· drinking. 
One of the boys who was studying to be a genius took a firm step in that di­rection when he asked the pregnant question, "Who assigns rooms and hours for courses, anyway, and how do they do it?" That did it! Chances are that all of us had grappled subconsciou ly, at least, with thi obvious explanation of our woes, but it had never occurred to any of us to pursue it to a valid con­clusion. ' 
It ha b en rumored that th Board of Regents make out th final announce­ment of cour e . The main hypothesis of this school of thought hold that the Regents m t in a graveyard during .full moon and accomplish their nefarious purp s by m ans of a warped Ouija board print d in an crit. 
A variati n on this th m that became popular during the war year maintain d that the Regent ma termind d an un­derground organization d signed to find out the most unpopular rooms and hours. Each room and each hour was ·wTitten on individual kernels of wheat and stuffed into separate cannons; then the courses were printed on grains of rice, one to each grain, and stuffed into another can­non. During final examinations, the can­nons are fired and the grains and ker­nels which )anded closest together and contained the proper inscriptions were read and prepared for publication. Ac­cording to thi war-time sp culation, the puffed wheat and puffed rice was gath­ered and sold to local chophouses ther ­by killing, or at least seriously injuring, numerous birds with one stone. 
There were other assumptions which we won't go into at present. Besides, an entry for "hashish" ha never been 
WALLACE ENGRAVING CO. 
• 

PHOTO -ENGRAVERS 
DESIGNERS 
PHOTO -L ITHOGRAPHERS 
• 

Engravers for the Texas Student Publicationsf Inc., 
Publishers of 
THE TEXAS RANGER 
THE CACTUS 
THE DAILY TEXAN 

• 

.

'4-0o-410 SAN ANTONIO STREET 
AUSTI N , TEXAS 
SEPTEMBER 1947 
found on the Regents' expense account. 
But why gue s or Ii ten to rumors? Recalling a story about some chap named Diogenes, I borrowed a lantern from a nearby sorority hou e and went in 
earch of the Truth. 
Di creet que tioning put me on the trail of the "Office of Official Publica­tion " which, to my urpri e, wa lo­cated behind the Regi trar' Office. It had never occuned to me that the Regis­trar's Office extended beyond Mr. Fich­tenbaum's or Mr. Mathew's desk. I ap­proached this inner anctum with fear­ful apprehen ion. Apprehension gave way to incredulity-the office contained nothing more fearful than women, and v ry attractive one at that. 
Mis Loui e Barekman, Editor of Of­
ficial Publications, introduced me to her 
staff: Mrs. Sue Allen, A i tant Editor; 
Mr . Maurine Plettman, Publications 
Secretary; Mrs. Sibyl Furga on, proof­
reader, and Mrs. Francis Brink, schedule 
as istant. Each of the e channing ladie 
is a graduate of the University, and judg­
ing from their appearance, one might 
logically a sume recent graduate . 
In hort order, Miss Berekman dis­
pelled the mysteries of scheduling which 
begin with each Department Chairman 
submitting a list of those course offered 
by his department. Included on this list 
are the various sections, an estimation 
of the number of students, and requests 
for meeting hours. The cour es are tab­
ulated by departments and hours and 
the total number of cour es at a given 
hour must equal the number of rooms 
available at that hour. If this doesn't 
balance, the extra cour es are changed 
to hours when there are room enough 
to accommodate them. Before the shack 
era, there were 120 room for each hour, 
now there are 145. This will facilitate 
a more ven distribution of hours. 
When the number of courses equal;; 
the number of rooms, each course and 
its probable number of tudents is en­
tered on a eparate fil e card which i. 
headed by the hour it meet . The cards 
are arranged according to meeting time; 
e.g., those meeting MWF , those on TTS 
8, MWF 9, TTS 9, etc. 
The next step i entering the cour es 
on a ma ter chart. Thi chart look like 
a glorified ch dule card, only with dif­
ferent designations. The top of the 
chart i divided into ection which con­
tain the meeting time (MWF 8, TTS , 
etc.). On the left ide are general divi­
ion headed by building ; each of these 
divisions are ubdivided into the name 
or number of the cla rooms in that 
building. uch data a capacity and 
special quipment (platform, projection 
faciliti s, etc.) if any, i noted by each 
room number. 
Mi s Barekman and her a istant then 
begin the actual work of as igning the 
cla ses, and slow pain taking work it is. 
They take each card, go down the column 
of the hour at which it meet , and enter 
(Continued on next page) 
TEXAS RANGER 


PRES ENTS 

LONGHORN THROW RUGS The famous Longhorn throw rug, an exclusive Seegert item, is in traditional orange and white of narrow gauge, short tufted make, from cotton grown in your own back yard. Made in Texas by Texans. Special designs available to order. 
30 x 50 $14.50 
36 x 60 $16.50 
A SAEGERT SPECIAL 
FLU ORESCE NT DESK LAMP 
A real light for hours of study without eyestrain. Con­venient and perfect for dormitory use. Complete with 14-watt bulb for : 

Seegert Bros., home of Majestic Radio, Mighty Monarch of the Air, also features study furniture, electric appliances of all kinds to add to the comfort of College. 

YOUR CAMPUS FURNITURE STORE 
1710 Lavaca Phone 9409 bl 


CUSTOMER? 

A CUSTOMER is the most important person ever m this Store-in person, by mail or by telephone. 
A CUSTOMER 1s not dependent on us-we ore dependent on him. 
A CUSTOMER 1s not an interruption of our work-he is the purpose of it. We are not doing a favor by serving him­he is doing us a favor by giving us the opportunity to do so. 
A CUSTOMER 1s not an outsider to our business-he 1s part of it. 
A CUSTOMER is not cold statistics-he is flesh and blood human being with feelings and emotions like our own. 
A CUSTOMER is a person who brings us his wants. It is our job to handle them profitably both to him, or her, and to ourselves. 
At this store the Customer-that's YOU-is more important than money. 
WE WELCOME YOU 
von eoecHmAnn -Jones co. 

STATIONERS -PRINTERS 
110 EAST NINTH ST. 
TELEPHONE 2-1163 
it in the appropriate :;quar opposite the room of the proper building. 
So far a the room s lection are con­cerned, the cla ses which r quir special facilities (drama, ngine ring, home co­nomics, et .) and n ed ertain room are as igned fir t. She trie to plac the non-pecific cour es (English, hi tory, psychology, etc.) in the buildings with which they are associated, but there is u ually an overflow due to numerou 
ections. The e overflow cla es are plac d in the n xt be t r oms availabl at that hour to prevent possibl nig·hl cla s s. The late hours and mor incon­venient and uncomfortable room are used only a a last re ort. B ing ex­students, Miss Barekman and her assis­tants di like resorting to this last de ­perate measure and wish that all classes could be in a ir-conditioned buildings from 10 to 12 a. m. However, they admit this is a mad, impetuou dream. 
Hurrying back to rejoin my comrades, I pictured how happy they'd be when I related to th m the method behind what we thought wa madness. Now, when we (or you, for that matter) are in some midnight till one section, or propping our eyes open at 6 a. m., or when we're in "B" Hall waiting for the roof to fall in, the floor to drop out, or both (depend­ing upon what floor we are), we'll know how and why we got there-if that is any con olation. 
When I returned, the Freudian en­thusiast wa back, smiling happily-the conversation was normal. No one seemed to care about my interesting story nor wa anyone in condition to listen to it. Muttering something to the effect of "drop dead," I ordE!red "a dozen to go" and headed for "B" Hall to wait for my next clas . 
It would be a long time till midnight. 


62 
SEPTEMBER 1947 


ERCURY 

LINCOLN 
Convenient, friendly Service ... 

• 	
Reasonably priced 

• 	
Promptly handled 

• 	
Courteously rendered 


• 	
Just four blocks from the heart of downtown Austin 


• 

HOWARD KUHLMAN 

Austin's Exclusive Lincoln-Mercury Dealer 
501 West Sixth St. 	Phone 8-9346 
TEXAS RANGER 	1>3 

Attitude · ranging from indifference to downright hostility greet almost every <"ampus drive for fund in ach pring emester. Solicitors for many worthwhile chariti s fail mi. erably, imply becau e mo t of u · are ick and tired of seeing ex­tended hands and hearing pitiful plea . 
After hri tma shopping plurge and other debt-incurring devices have strained the budget over a period of a few month , it is no wonder that the $65-per-month men and their equally poor fellow student and faculty friends find each succeeding drive increa ingly di gu ting. 
Then the answ r to the Te. an's editorial question Why ot One Big Drive l11Stead of a Doz n? (The ummer Texan, Thur day, Augu t 7, 1947) is. obvious. There is ob olutely no logi ·al r a on why there houlcl not be "one com1>rehensive rnoney­raising drive" onduct d by a central agency, "a king each tudent for a contribution on time." dvantage other than deserved relief to plagued student body and fa ulty b come irnrnedately apoarent. 
Jn U1e first 1>lace, if a tudent could be as ured that he would be dunned for con­tribution only once during th year, it is rea onable to assume that he would be in lin d to give rather lib rally, and probably cheerfully. o-01>eration of the Board of Regents, the aclrnini tration, ·tudent government, and the Daily Texan in outlaw­ing all driv but the "big un" would give him that urety. 
till anoth r favorable argument terns from the likely de ire of a number of or­
ganizations to share the loaded ampus he t fund. ' ~th _e~pense of ~he _campaign di per ed among the participating group , the co t per md1v1dual orgamzahon would be con iderably le than if each conducted eparate drives. 
If th niv r ity of "a hington can rai e in one campaign a urn (nearly 16,000) which they ay far out tri1> that rai d in previou year by many drives, certainly it is po ible for the ni,·er ity of Texa to do a well or 1>roportionally better. The 
financial  re1>ort of Wa hington'  arnpu  he t  ornrnittee atte ts  to the  uccess  of  
their "one drive" and  tabli h  a  general patt ern which  The University  of Texas  
might well  follow.  

There is reason to believe that a University of Texa ampus Chest would ~e suc­ce sful a was that at "V a hington. However, next spring when we are tu.eel of . oliciting and being olicited i not the time for planning. The time to ~Ian 1s the pr ent-now, before irk ome carn1>aign begin, before Christmas shoppmg starts, while we till have a little ca h and a lot of patience. 
LOOKING BACK 

Thi olumn with its advantageou po ition at th ' nd of all th gore, P r­
piration, and lacrimae ( ob!) which make up the new Ranger, ha the fun ­tion of the backward lool. Not at the Ranger it elf; we are leaving you to your own onclusions. If you lik it, may­b you'd b tter not run through again­you might hang your mind. If you have cl cid d it's just enother on of those things, may w a k you to 1· onsid r? Esp cially, w think, you should giv Bill Rip ' Th IV heel anoth r S[ in. 
What we intend to look ba k on, though, is the Univer ity scene sine th Ranger last appeared. Thi month w have the whole summer to mull over. 
-0­
lf you weren't, you should have b en here. E pecially the girls. The shortag , bad ince the vets tarted coming horn from the war (or the battle of Sh p­herd Field), was wor e than ver thi 
ummer. Not in such a hurry to get a 
Iegree, the girls take vacations more seriou ly than the G. I. Bills, and life wa just a round of book and beer, with very little of the f minine oft tou h. 
It's not that nothing· happ n d. Th shacks went up-but they won't help th crowded cla sroom situi:.tion much. Al o the J.P. Porter Fire Escapes were tacked on to the Journalism Building. We call them that in honor of Texan and Ranger super-reporter "Scoop" Porter, who pointed out to the Administration last year that if the Journalism Building burnt to a crisp, several tudents might too. The Administration made the mis­take of arguing with J. P., claiming that 
J.B. never had burned down (in all th sc years, too) which should convince any reasonable human being that it n ver would. Porter, characteristically, refu ed to be rea onable, and so when the fire escapes went up, the Texan staff en­graved J. P.'s name in the cement land­ing of J. P. Porter o. 1, which is right outside the Texan and Ranger office windows. 
"Scoop's" poop on the Law School is not sensational in the true Porter tyle, but rumor has it that he's out to dig some pedestrian tunnels under Guada­lupe and San Jacinto, and our advice to the Administration is: "Go ahead and give in-you're licked before you tart." 
-0­
The compulsory blanket tax was hand­ed to the students this summer Loo. You probably noticed that extra fifteen buck added on your fees at registration if you happen to be paying your own way. We have personally decided that even though we haven't time to spend all Saturday afternoon getting a seat for a football game, we're going to be the1·~ this year-every time. And if that tean\ isn't good that we're forced to spend our money to see, are we ever going to complain! 
-BEN JEFFERY 
SEPTEMBER 1947 



Look her·! Just studv thi dandy page. "Big-hearted Pcpfii-.ola jokes, gag~.. und tl1i11g~-alltH:h yo ur 11Hnl\'~ nddn·~. ~ ~d1\lol und 
' ill pay you for stufT you send in and we print: l.00, ' 2.00, 3.00 ·la --. \·11J it Lo Ea$)' \lonl' I <"[11.1r t111c11t, Pep~i-"olu '0111puu y, 
... even 15.00. lt do, n' t bavc to be funn y-but we won't buy it L 11 " b land ity, N. \. 
unlcs it i . Of cour e ifthe magic words " Pepsi-ola" appear, you You could earn a million dollar ( 1.0 0.000.00)-y u sh uld 
got a better ehan . All contribution become the propert of live so long. end in your otufT-now-tlicn wait for the mailman. 
P p-i-Cola Company. \X"e pay only for those we print. Ju t write \rill he brino-a r<"jc tion olip-r cash? Ile ~ure will ! 


'l'lu: nt· L 1i111e 0 11,r holdinu Lhat 
cut,· buby ou your lap, whi ·pcring 8\\ c •t 11othi11g in her ear, do try and remember the swc t nothings you get in return. They may get you nothing-then again they may. Something like these: 
"My H ctor, aged 22, was holding me on his lap the oth r night when he said thr ab olut<"ly cutest thing I ver h ard. Ile aid, 'boinnnngg!"' 
loria Jane hickenwing reports that l•'r('ddy, thP f1dlhack a"ed 19.Vz, spokl' his first word th other day, imrn<"dia t!"ly following a rirnmage. Fr ·ddy said '"Ouch."' 
ITenry 'Henr • O'Sut" of the . of Eirr says his ·oil<· n. adic, berated hirn for drioking 32 Pepsi-olas be­t" ecn classes. "Ilenrv," he aid, "Careful, or you'll ufT~r fr m bottle fatigu ." 
For tlii.• kirrd of stuff on should 
pn ' us. /Jut 11•e pny you-, I Pnch. 
.--------------------------------­
I I I 
' Little Moron Corner 
I Murgatro cl, the ~foron, wu busy
I 
I goi11~ around LO\\ n bu,·ing up all th 
I 
I Pq1,;i-ola h ould find. When hi 
I 
I fri<"nd llazelnul a,ked him whv, h 
I 
I aid, ttJones' drug Lor i gi in; two 
I 
I ('Ill ba k on e\'ery P psi bottlc-,.so 
I 
I I fi~ured if1 bo';'rrbt nough of t.hc111, 
I 
I l could be ri h.' 
I I 2.00 for thes -You should be 
I 
: n. lw111ed to acrept it. 
~--------------------------------~ 
EXTRA ADDED ATTRACTION 
t th nd of tb ar w 're going to r view all the tuff we buy, and the item we tbi1tk was b t of all i goiDg to get an extra 
$100.00 


·LS. if ou draw it .. . if we buy it. 

HE-SHE GAGS 
Ir you can writ HE-llE jok you proliahl have a terrific future a a radio gag \Hit r. Y u'll make a coup! of «rand a \\tek easy. But until th n Pepsi-ola "·ill pay you three Lucks for He-he jo~e'l. Try and make th m funnier thAn the e pitiful example : 
H e: Jim's uch a B.~\T.O.. that they call him Pepsi. 
be: I gu • that because he's such a good mix.er. 
* * 
Hottla H : \Yho i~ that tall, good-look­ing bottle ov ·r there? 

Boula lw: Oh, tha t' P psi-ola .. drunk cv ry"h re ou know. ­
* * 

he: If you were any kQld of a hoy 
fri end you'd a those thrl.'f" liule 
word that mak me tT'frill. 

)ie: 0. K. "Ila e a Pep"i !" 
* * * 

He: 1 can't think of any more He-he 
gagfi. 
, he: Then it' Lime for a Pep~i. 
3.00 (three bucks) apiece for these • ..,