THAT WA'O CLOSE, CHIEF, 8UT YOU SURE HANDLE D THINGS RIGHT! . .. HAVE COME& IN HANDY A CAMEL! -WHETHER YOU'RE According to a Nationwide survey: MORE DOCTORS SMOKE CAMELS THAN ANY OTHER CIGARETTE When 113,597 docrors were asked by three independent research organizations to name the cigarette they smoked, more doctors named Camel than any other brand! 6r-PER/ENCE/$ THE lJEP/TEAC#Eli* LONG EXPE.R.1 ENCE. HAS TAUGHT CLYDE GORDON NEVER TO SH0°W FEAR TO AN ANIMAL.HE STANDS HIS GROUND ••. SPEAKIN(} SOFTLY, INSISTENTLY ... WHILE DIVERTING HER ATTENTION WITH B>ROOM HANDLE • 10 TRUE, TOO, IN CHOOSING A CIGARETTE! WITH SMO~ER AFTER 5MOKER WHO TRIED AND COMPARED-CAMELS ARE THE 'CHOICE OF EXPERIENCE"/ Let your "T-Zone" tell you why! l1 VE LEARNED FROM EXPERIENCE T for Taste ••• T for Throat , .. that's your prov­ing ground for any cigarette. See if Camels don't suit your '"1'-Zone'' to a"'£.'' ©~"17~~ CllAl&IJ'-the ~01t-e of''5penence/ TEXAS RANGER HOW WE SET CHINA BACK FIFTY YEARS A FTER World War II, China was bomb-gutted, hungry, and tired. The Chinese people realized that it would take years t-o rebuild their homes, fac­tories, and libraries. But they were a proud people and did not like to openly ask for aid from foreigners. People in the United States, however, turned sympathetic faces toward the East and wished they could do some­thing to help their friends across the sea. Someone suggested sending books to China to help educate the knowledge­hungry Orientials. Signs were posted, pleas were made, and soon the books began pouring in. A Ranger staff member recently checked the Books-For-China box in the cavernous hall of the Main Building and this is. what was found. (It is undoubt­edly typical of the reading matter which is constantly being foisted off on the helpless Chinese.) " Elementar Mathematik," 1925 " Elementary Biology," 1919 "lch Lerne Deutsch," 1935 " La Loca de la Casa," 1925 "How to Cure Concrete" " De utsches Worterbuch" "Official Registration Instructions For the Period September 16-21 , 1948" "Ogg and Ray-American Government" "Connie Loring 's Ambition," 1925 " Mechanics of Materials," 1903 "Orthoepist," 1881 "Dinty the Porcupine," 1888 " Le Bourgeois Gentilhomme" "Vote for Doris Daniels" blotter When the first shipment of books ar­rived, the faces of the Chinese looked sad, but then came the dawn. One clever Chinaman suggested setting up an In­ternational Book Store in Hong Kong and a second one in the Northern Shan States. The Chinese were then very suc­cessful in selling their unusual collection of books to American tourists. And with the money derived from the enterprise, the Chinese were able to buy food and clothing. Moral : Very few Chinese read French and German, but all Chinese like to eat occasion· ally.-G . W. • 2 NOVEMBER, 1948 BEAUTIFUL FUR ADORNS FASHIONS LOVELY LADY COATS A touch of fur adds so much to your winter coat . . . gives it an air of elegance and sophistication. Choose your coat fitted or box; trimmed in beaver, persian lamb, mink tails, muskrat or ermine. In wine, grey, black or green. 65.00 to 119.00 No tax FASHIONS-Second Floor TEXAS RANGER To Find the Right for mother for Father for Brother, Sister for the whole family -for ANYONE, anytime ... Come in and browse or let us choose t he gift uniquely yours. 2262 GUADALUPE Phone 6-5253 The automobile motor began to pound, and finally stopped. The worried boy friend said to his companion: I wonder what the knock could be? Maybe, said the blond girl friend, it's opportunity.-Future • "Pardon me, Mrs. Astor, but that nev­er would have happened if you hadn't stepped between me and the spittoon." -Town and Country • A member of a psych class on tour asked an inmate his name. "George Washington," was the reply. "But,'' said the perplexed student, "last time we were here you were Abra­ham Lincoln." "That," said the inmate sadly, "was by my first wife."-Harry Truman • Chaucer and I wrote a dirty story Bawdy and lewd from the start. But mine, people said, was pornographic And Chaucer's was classical art. -Milton • Visitor at Asyllum-Do you have to keep the women inmates separated from the men? Attendant--Sure. The people here ain't as crazy as you think. -Inmates Magazine • Why, mother, what makes you think it was cold out on the porch last night? I heard you tell your boy friend to keep his shirt on.-Winterset • Waiter, what is this? It's bean soup. I don't care what it's been, what is it now?-Lampoon • Prof: What are you late for today? Frosh: Class, I guess.-Alcalde • Guest: Just straight ginger ale. Host: Pale? Guest: No, just a glass. -Reader's Digestion NOVEMBER, 1948 Curved Windshield in '49 Nash "~'')~ .}:?~ The new 1949 Nash ·Airflyte' cars feature a one-piece curved safety glass windshield, distortion-free and designed to minimize glare. Elimination of the conventional divided windshield greatly increases visibility. The front grille, a massive racing-type air scoop, conforms to the new broad low hood. P. K. WILLIAMS NASH CO. "On the Avenue" CONGRESS AT SECOND 8-4688 "1ouchdowu!" Our delicious food ... meats, vegetables, appe­tizing salads, and variety of desserts ... score every time. That's why you'll enjoy your meals in the pleas­ant atmosphere at Milam's. TWO AIR-CONDITIONED MILAM CAFETERIAS CONVENIENTLY LOCATED 21ST AND WICHITA 8TH AND CONGRESS THE PIN-BALL PLAYERS' Pl N-BALL PLAYER Sing a song of pin-ball, Man against machine; Sing of snwll cigar-stores Wreathed in nicotine. In this strange arena Myriad ?nillions stand, Unsurpressed emotion Rocks the manic band. When the ball is rolling, Hear the ?nighty roar: "Sock it in the special! Bounce me! Seven more!" When the ball is stagnant, Hear the bitter shout: "Sloppy!-Sloppy pin-ball! 0 farm that rookie out!" But sing of Major Pin-Ball, Man against machine, Thrill to humming specials Flashing red and green! Others tramp to rivers, To icy peak and shore; We get our athletics At any corner store. No more charley horses, Ankles on the bum; All we ever suffer ls pin-ball player's thumb. But let us clean the game up, Sport is not for thugs; No more Sockless Jacksons Passing wooden slugs; Ban the gangs that gamble; Keep the Series clean; Outlaw pocket magnets, Tilting the machine. When I hang m y spikes up, Will I have a "day"? Will the fans present me With watch and Chevrolet? And before I'm buried, Will I see my name Blazoned on the portals Of Pin-Ball's Hall of Fame? -Yale Lampoon • Aggie Senior 6 NOVEMBER, 1948 fabulously new I evening elegance Dramatic black crepe punc­tuated with iridescent red taffeta. Tinted to match regency pump by Palter De Liso. Sparkling highlights in rhine­stone. Choker and bracelet with hair clip and earrings to match. From our holiday collection of formals. TEXAS RANGER PHOTOS IN THE RANGER ARE MADE WITH EQUIPMENT AND SUPPLIES PURCHASED AT­ AUSTIN PHOTO SUPPLY 2264 GUADALUPE AND 110 E. 8th STREET (at present being remodeled) TWO STORES TO SERVE YOU WITH A COMPLETE STOCK OF CAMERAS, MOVIES & SUPPLIES. Also Expert Camera Repair Austin Photo Supply TOIL IN HOLLYWOOD (PRESS AGENTS) LOTS OF MUSIC No one can accuse Columbia's action­musical, "Texas Sandman," of lacking music. Ten catchy songs, new and old, are cleverly interwoven with the rapid­fire action of the picture. They are "Hap. py Birthday Polka," "That Lucky Feel­ing," "Sweetheart of the Blues," "Texas Sandman," "Not Today," "Ain't No­body's Business What I Do," "Bread and Butter Woman," "Whoopie Hat Bri­gade," "Johnnie Comes Marching Home" and "Washboard Galloping Rhythm." TITLE CHANGES "Riders of the Whistling Pines" is the final title for Columbia's Gene Autry starrer previously known as "Ridin' the Old Pine Trail." John English directed, Armand Schaefer producing. The Johnny Weissmuller starrer which had the work­ing title of "Jungle Jim's Adventure," will be known as "The Lost Tribe." Sam Katzman produced, William Berke di­recting. LIFE IN HOLLYWOOD (EQUINE) One of the fiercest horses on the screen is Mist-A-Shot, a bad, black, actor, who is usually seen trampling the villain or trying to steal a girl friend from some famous film horse. In "Black Eagle" he has to fight a man who is after him with a two-by-four plank. He rears and boxes with his hoofs; knocking the two-by-four right out of the picture. Actually, how­ever, he is one of the gentlest animals in the Hollywood stable on equine perform­ers. Injured some years ago in an auto­mobile accident, he received a permanent limp and was almost out of the acting business until trained to fight. The "doubles champion" of Hollywood is Champion. Although nearly every big­time film star uses a double to perform hazardous feats for him before the cam­era, Champion, who is Gene Autry's famous horse, has four doubles in train­ing. Human stars use doubles because their studio employers won't allow them to risk their necks (and the employer's huge investments) pulling spectacular stunts. Champion's four doubbles are trained for camera work so that one of them can step into Champ's place in case he is sick, injured or when he is retired. While many human stars would not be able to perform the stunts executed by their doubles, nope of Champ's dou bles can equal his tricks-yet. But they' learning. LIFE IN HOLLWOOD (HUMAN) Columbia's prop men had to hurriedly rustle up two "King size" couches for Corne! Wilde's and John Baragrey's dressing rooms on the set when theJ were filmine: "The Lovers." . . . 8 NOVEMBER, I LINCOLN MERCURY Friendly Service Co1ivenient and Expert •,., • Reasonably priced • Promptly handled • Courteously rendered • Just four blocks from the heart of downtown Austin • HOWARD KUHLMAN Austins Exclusive Lincoln-Mercury Dealer 50 I WEST SIXTH ST. PHONE 8-9346 , MAY I HELP YOU?' Noel Coward: That silly little song they were playing in the cocktail lounge settled it for me. Delicate eddies of gossamer memory flit­ted through my brain, and I was getting up to leave when I knew. Pamela. She was just behind me when I turned around. "Rexford," she whispered, un­believingly. · "Well, Pamela." "I've been looking for you." "Oh?" "Yes." "Home at last?" "Yes." "Fun?" "No." "Oh." "You?" "No." "Oh." "Missed you like the devil." "Me too." "You mean . . . ?" "Yes." "The piano ..." "I know, our song." "Quite." "Drink?" "Let's." James M. Cain: I jumped off the back of the garbage truck as it roared past the roadside tav­ern. The sign that said EAT attracted me. I felt lik~ eating. The door was open and I went in and sat down. The place was full of people. Then she came through the door. She had black hair and was carrying a bowl of chili. She looked like the grandmother of eevry chili-carrier in the world. When she brushed by me I could smell it. I brought my fist up against her chin and her teeth crumbled. She gave me a look. She knew I was her kind. "Quick," she said. "In the kitchen. I'm killing my husband for his insurance and I need help." One or two customers looked up. "Hell no, lady," I said. "I'm a nice, clean kid." • "Any identifying marks on the body?" NOVEMBER, 1948 Gig 'em Aggies • She knew I wasn't her kind anymore. She rushed back into the kitchen and dragged out her husband. "That's him," she cried, pointing at me. He nodded, pulled out a knife and threw it at me. In that second I knew I wanted her, but now it was too late. I would never have her. The knife was coming towards me. Here it comes. Oscar Hammerstein II I first saw you With melody mist in your hair, I first saw you Silhouetted in juke-box glare. In a moment I knew You were the one, That for me there would never be more. In a moment I knew My search was through, As you slipped from your stopl to the floor. I first saw you With melody mist in your hair, I first saw you- Though I can't seem to place ju~~ where ... Eugene O'Neill: Scene: The boiler room of a ship at sea. No one is on duty except Yan}\, ~ho is shoveling a mixture of Prince Al­bert, Time magazines, and coal in through a furnace door. ~very once in a while he stops to shout Who makes her go? No one answers, so Yank yells I make her go. Up above the furnaces there is an iron balcony. John and Mary come in from the outside and shut the door. Yank does not see them. He keeps on shoveling and shouting. Mary: I don't like it in here. John: Nonsense. Besides, I promised to show you the ship. I'll take care of you. Mary: Well, all right. (Sees Yank.) Ugh! Who is that down there? John: Oh, that's Yank, He makes her go. Mary: He looks like a beast. ls he the kind of. sailor who has a girl in every port? (Continued on page 12) The figure divine! That's you in your miracle working Half Hi-A. Up-of course! It's a heavemly u·plift. Daring-just a bit. It's a Half Hi-A, you know. So comfortable, so wonderful in the smooth way it stays in place. It's the perfect bra for lpwcut dresses-for 1fue important Empire silhouette for you. White or black nylon satin. Sizes 32 to 38. $5.00 TEXAS ~~N_GER Neat duet ••• for campus or career life. In moth-proofed 100% virgin wool. Tone on tone slipover ••• plus solid -cardigan ••• in . luscious new colors. Sizes 34 to 40. MAY I (Continued from page 11) John: Yank is very popular with the ladies. He's a big spender. And if he likes a girl, he always throw~ a fifty. cent piece down the front of }f;er dress. Mary: Let's get out of here. John: Not yet, Mary. I brought you here because it is the only place where we can be alone. I'rn mad about you. (He shows her that he is mad about her.) Mary: Stop it, John. I'm leaving. (John doesn't stop it.) Help! Help! Yank (looking up): Whatsa matter, lady? Mary can't answer. Yank quickly climbs up a ladder, and taking careful aim with his shovel, brings it down on John's head. John stops it. Yank car­ries him down the ladder and tosses him into the furnace. Mary is horri­fied. So is Yank, but it's too late to do anything about it, except make it up to Mary. He pulls a fifty-cent piece from his pocket and throws it down the front of her dress. Mary (near hysteria): Oh! You ... you hairy ape! Yank thinks this over for a_ moment, then decides to take back his coin. As he chases Mary out of the door, he stops to shout once more, Who makes her go? John (from furnace): I mak'e her go. Curtain. -Wampus • Prof: "This exam will be conducted on the honor system. Please take seats three seats apart and in alternate rows." -Peek • Aggie Sportsman • DID YOU KNOW? A handy fire extinguisher can be macje for your car for less than twenty-five cents. Place a can of beer under y9ur car hood, keep an ice pick in your glove compartment. When your engine catc~es fire, leap out of the car, shake th~ Cf.n, punch . a hole in it, and the s~as will quickly extinguish the. flame. $50,000 and a SU;bscription to :(leader's Digest has been sent to Eugene Knadler for this month's Did You ffnow. Send yours today. EXCERPTS FROM A SPEECH BY T. S. PAINTER TO THE FACULTY ON OCTOBER 19 I T is with a feeling of a good deal of satisfaction that I come before you this afternoon to report on the activities of the past year, especially here on the Main Campus .... It is now a pleasure to review our activities, and I hope that you will share with me a feeling of pride over the magnitude of your accomplish­ments.... The necessity of recruiting so many staff members gave us an extraordinary opportunity to strengthen greatly our departments and to enhance further the reputation of this institution nationally, an opportunity which no previous ad­ministration had had and which no fu­ture administration is likely to have. This opportunity boded good or evil depending on how we use it. . . . I would like to quote from a letter I received from a man who was willing to leave a permanent appointment at one of the great privately endowed univer­sities to come to the University of Texas. He wrote: "You will probably be interested in knowing that among the more important factors which made me select the appointment at tl:ie Uni­versity of Texas over several oth­ers was the interest and attention which you personally gave to me and others who were candidates for staff appointments. I know of no other president of a large uni­versity who devotes so much of his time to the selection of faculty members. Secondly I felt there ex­isted at the University of Texas a professional friendliness and a mutual esteem among the staff members whom I met while in Austin. I thought you might find these personal reactions of some value in your task of selecting staff members." . A faculty of active scholars is a : happy faculty. • Apair of smoothies , .• soft as down •. . and high in style. Tone on tone striped slipover ••. with contrasting cardigan. 100% virgin wool ••. and moth·proofed. Sizes 34 to 40. "Horseshoes; Cowboy" TEXAS RANGER T HE Ranger has had its eye on the Stauffer System for figure control for some time now, and recently when the papers announced a free trial offer from the local outpost of this booming institu­tion, we seated Alice King, our fashion photographer, in George Warmack's flan­nel-lined hack and took her down to con­duct an on-the-mat investigation for us. the things that bind. See, what you get is passive exercise. We have six leather­covered tables in separate booths that exercise all parts of your body. The ta­bles have sections in them that vibrate, and all you have to do to get your ex­ercise is just lie there. We have one ta­ble called The Horse which gives you the equivalent of a five-mile ride in five We hasten to add that Alice's figure is far from being out of control at this point. The Austin branch of the Stauffer Sys­tem at 406 W. 17 is housed in a flat­topped modernistic structure whose front wall is a panel of glossy wood and whose entrance is located at one side, in a wall of glass. We found the reception room filled mainly with blue-haired matrons, placidly awaiting their turns. There was a flurry of motion in the rear of the studio as we entered, and we heard a lady say, "Oh, I didn't know there were men out there!" We were greeted in a leisurely fashion by Austin's Stauffer representative, Mrs. Jack Ezelle, a slow-moving blonde wom­an who seated us, handed us some infor­mation pamphlets, and excused herself momentarily as she retired into an inner sanctum. As we waited we turned our gaze from the Stauffer Girl of 1947, one of many enticing pin-ups on the wall, and glanced at our pamphlet. "What Will The Stauffer System Do For Me?" we read. Undergoing something of a shock, we found that the only drawings con­tained in the pamphlet were sketches of the female skeleton and some uninviting profiles of women in obvious need of assistanc~. We were seeking an explana­tion of ·this unglamorous propaganda when Mrs. Ezelle returned to us with apologies. "I'm sorry I took so long," she said, "I had to wait on one machine." Mrs. Ezelle was informed of Alice's exploratory mission, and she graciously sent Alice away to the machines under an assistant's supervision. For a moment we wondered if this weren't asking too much of Alice, the last person in the world we'd have maltreated, but Mrs. Ezelle soothed our fears as she described the Stauffer System in a low and pleas­ant voice. "It's all absolutely painless," she as­sured us. "No heat, no rollers, no steam, no electricity." "It isn't even necessary to disrobe," continued Mrs. Ezelle. "We just loosen I~ minutes. What we try to do is correct the causes of overweight. We stimulate cir­culation, we improve posture. A lot of trouble with figures comes from poor weight distribution through bad pos­ ture." (We point out that one result of poor posture, according to the pamphlet, is an unsightly protrusion at the base of • Romeike • JOE PHIPPS is the only post-war Ranger writer we know whose work is being preserved in book form. Two stories which we printed last year ("Coming Home in Style" and "Stars Ain't Worth Seeing") are being combined with a number of others to make up a novel which Farrar-Straus & Co. will release next year. After winning second place in the Dallas Times-Herald college writer's con· test last year, Joe was approached by one of the judges with a contract for the novel. It will contain twelve short stories and numerous vignettes based on some of the rather earthy characters who first appeared in the Ranger. "Fishing Trip" is not in the book. It was one of the many unpublished manu­scripts we found lying around Joe's country house in north Austin where he secludes himself and makes money. the neck, called "the dowager hump.") "And how do you correct poor pos­ture?" we asked. "Through gentle exercise. That way we build firm tissue and just coax the pelvis back into place." We commented on the excellent weight distribution of the girls in Stauffer pub­licity, all done by Valjene of Dallas, by the way, and Mrs. Ezelle said that, in­deed, some people do finish a course look­ing like the ads. However, the Stauffer system is not too emphatic about weight reduction. Truly, the pamphlet states that "In starting your course in the Stauffer Sys­tem, you are in a way placing an order for a new streamlined body." But it goes on to remind us that "the priceless charm of physical attractiveness is not to be achieved by weight reduction alone, and your goal should n'ot be just a mere mat­ter of pounds. The enchantment of youth lies in a slender body, brisk step, steady nerves, and the clear skin and sparkling eyes of a heathily coursing circulation, etc... " Mrs. Ezelle informed us that this in­nocuous approach to beauty was formu­lated in California-of course--some eleven years ago by a man known as Dr. B. H. Stauffer. Dr. Stauffer, whose head­quarters are in Los Angeles, is known far and wide in figure-conscious Cali­fornia, and his system has received some invaluable testimonies from film stars who have given his machines a fling. But Dr. Stauffer has continued to branch out, and today his good services are available not only to the pretty people of the West Coast, but are found in most any sizeable town in the U.S.-probably wherever there's an Arthur Murray studio. Mrs. Ezelle said that Austin has had a Stauffer System studio for nearly two years, and that she became the local representative four months ago, upon rnccessfully completing a course of study prescribed by the Los Angeles office. She is assisted by two operatives, also hold­ing diplomas, who find the work of guid­ing patrons from booth to booth and delivering simple ungrammatical instruc­tions like "lay down" very pleasant and interesting. All equipment used in a Stauffer studio is standardized, and there are specifications concerning the booths, but the building itself is a matter of the representative's choice. "I've been told by customers that this is one of the nicest units they've ever seen," said Mrs. Ezelle. Hours at the studio are from 8-6, fiv' and one-half days a week, and Mr :1 Ezelle says that the machines are seldo idle. The fee at Stauffer's is very mo erate: On~ may take twelve treatmen~ of fifty minutes each, for $15, or, in more stubborn case, twenty-four trea , ments for $25. (Continued on page 5~ NOVEMBER, I~~ T HE Nash automobile people are spend­ing quite a sizeable sum huckstering their latest efforts at streamlined com­fort-the new Nash "Airflyte." Although in every other way resembling half a dozen car models now on the market, the Nash has one feature its makers are pushing which seems to be exclusive. They are quick to point out that the front seat unhinges to form a double bed. The thing that puzzles us most is the group to which the advertising copy writers are directing their appeals. They claim the bed is perfect for "sports­ men." ----0---­ While on the subject of auto ads, it might be mentioned that the Packard company tried a new technique in a full page color spread in several magazines last month. Nowhere in the ad was the name of the product mentioned. The car makers said they were so confident peo­ple would know which car was best that they would only give one little hint-a small boxed slogan in the lower right hand corner with the words, "Ask the man who owns one." Here in the office, we've been speculating on the prospect of the idea catching hold with other ad­vertisers, who are always adept at copy­ing their cohorts. If so, then we might all look forward to seeing whole pages of coy innuendo such as "Oh, you know which cigarette we're talking about" or "It's the one in the black and blue pack­age." It would be too much to hope, we suppose, that radio advertisers might take up the idea. • I T finally havvened : An irate veteran who for some reason or other was not receiving his pension checks on schedule marched into ari eastern office of the Veterans Administration and shot two workers-the disbursing officer and a guard. A cagy lawyer could undoubtedly pack the jury with veterans and get the lad off scot free. Of course the veteran will have to start all over again on those checks. • O NE of our faculty friel'l,ds, after apol­ ogizing for relating a:qything in the sayings of kiddies department, told us the following. Now that you've been warned, read on. He (our faculty friend) yvas holding a picture book for a very young child in the family while the you11g9ter made up stories. The kid captioned pne pic­ture, "And on and on they went, eating Easter eggs and drinking beer." F UNNIEST thing we saw during the election was the morning-after scram­bling of one of those Burma-Shave type signs which originally had read Ding­Dong-Vote Long. • An Aggie is trustworthy, loycil, hel7Jful, friendly, co1irteoiis, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brcive, clean, and reverent. • S ACCO and Vanzetti (RIP) were well represented·· on the campus during the last thirty days. First, in chronologi­cal sequence, was the appearance at lo­cal bookstores of former U.T. English prof G. Louis J oughin's brainchild, The Legacy of Sacco a,nd Va,nzetti. This scholarly treatment of the effect of the • famous trial on American life and liter­ature is enhanced with a thorough ac­count of the legal aspects by Dr. Edmund Morgan of the Harvard Law School, who has visited now and again at U.T. The New York Ti1nes book reviewer was enthusiastic about the work, saying "After the most exhaustive study yet made, Professors Joughin and Morgan conclude that Sacco and Vanzetti were the victims of a sick society in which prejudice, chauvenism, hysteria and mal­ice were endemic. Few who will read this moving work will doubt that they have proved their point." Second was the exhibit of Ben Shahn's fine series of paintings on the subject­an almost cartoon-like representation of the various people involved. (That of Judge Thayer was especially sharp and cruel, we felt.) Third was The Male Animal (see "Do­ing a Show," p. 19). This Thurber-Nu­gent treatment of the role of the sexes and the problems of University profes­sors seemed particularly appropriate for presentation here. A lot of the dialogue is strikingly apropos, such as this ex­cerpt. ED Who's getting this new stadi­um? Who brought Coach Sprague here from Southern Methodist? JOE ... this thing is bigger than stadiums and coaches. ED Nothing's bigger than the new stadium! TEXAS RANGER s . .. whether you're a longhair or a real gone guy or just a plain pop fan, you'll find the records you want at the co-op. incidentally records make swell Christmas gifts for young and old . . . and since you get cash rebates on your purchases at the co-op, you can make this a RECORD CHRISTMAS for your friends and family you con't go wrong with : ~ Ati i 0 rca-victor, stromberg-carlson, general electric, and motorola you'll find all of these famous brands in our radio shop . .. they come in consoles, table jobs, portables, and combinations of course, you get rebates on them .. . by the way, if that old radio of yours need a little perkin' up, bring it by our radio repair shop on the mezzanine you con buy radi os and record players on our easy payment plan now no interest no carrying charges . . just 1 / 4 down .. . bal-\\ once in six monthly payments . . plus a 10% cash discount in place of rebates .. . ask about it today. it's so easy! -------rTHE STUDEN(S OWM STORe--------• u n 1v-1R1119_1_0_-0_11 2246 G UADALUPE NO VEMBE R, 1948 16 TEXAS RANGER STUDENT MAGAZINE OF THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS Our November cover girl is the only Chi Omega pledge from Weatherford registered at the University under the name of Jeanne Meredith. To get the picture, Alice King seated her on a log in nearby woods, then asked softly, "How would you like to be Ranger Girl of the Month?" Floyd Wade • editor Ben Jeffery associate • JUST ABOUT 14 EVERYTHING Bill Bridges managing editor • Bill Yates cartoon editor • George Warmack humor editor • DOING 19 A SHOW Bob Bain staff photographer • Alice King • picture editor John Bustin • jazz columnist LONG 23 NOVEL Lynwood Abram • musicologist Vernen Liles copy editor • Winston Bode • feature editor BABE IN 25 THE WOODS C. w. Nelson art editor • Harrell E. Lee editorial supervisor • Cal Newton • business manager FRANK 27 MEDINA F. R. Moerke • advertising manager Bill Logan, Bill Yates • advertising salesmen PICK 28 A CARD • staff assistants Ed Miller, John Foshee, Morris Midkiff, Jr.. Bill Polvogt, Rowland Wilson, Bill Lacy BOLD 29 LOOK • writer contributors Victor Junger, Joe Phipps • Published by Texas Student HIP 31 BOOTS Publications, Inc. Editorial Office: Journalism Building 5. Business and Advertising Offices: Journalism Building I 08. Application for second class mailing permit pending at the Post Office, Austin, Texas. Subscription rate: $1 .50 per year. UNIVERSITY 48 BANK Single copy: twenty-five cents. • Printed by Von Boeckmann-Jones Co., Austin, Texas TEXAS RANGER ~todrlcd hy ll<'tt )' J o Rogt'r!)O n Photos hy Olli~ Slahl 24th at Guadalupe Ranger volume 61 number 3 "DOING ASHOW"• "God has given you one face, and you make yourselves another." Aging himself forty-five years, actor adds grease-paint wrinkles, crepe-hair eyebrows, and moustache. ) ' / I /I /1 , THE CAST IS THE HEART OF A PLAY (LEFT) Weeks before play is due to hit the boards, self-conscious actors and actresses stumble through un­familiar lines at tryouts for "The Male Animal." Director (far right) searches for types to represent his ideas of play's cast. (RIGHT) Tryout winners scan call boa rd in MLB lobby for announcements of coming re­hearsals. From now until opening night they will think of little else but their play, spend most of their nights at work on ;t, • Eighteen hundred miles from Broad­three plays being worked up for presen­pl'esentation, "because it takes more be­way, in a University of Texas building tation, and a student in the cast· of She lievable playing-you can't fake any­whose aging walls echo the garbled gram­Stoops to Conquer might very well be thing and get away with it." In a thea­mar of five modern languages, the voice working on the light crew for The Hasty ter-in-the-round production, the actors of the Department of Drama is heard in Heart. say their lines completely surrounded by our land. Let's take the Thurber-Nugent com­the audience. Those who think of drama students as edy, The Male Animal, which ran a week Try-outs for the cast wel'e held for addle-pated aesthetes who have found an ago in the Theater-in-the-Round to il­four days. First Mr. Cass had the appli­ easy way to get a degree will be shocked lustrate. Picked by the department, it cants read spe1~ches they picked from ·at our dogmatic assertion that outside became the problem child of Assistant other plays to show what they could do. the Law School these would-be Oliviers Professor Byrle Cass, who carefully The second day thi~y were called back and Cornells put in more time for a studied its possibilities. He decided it was and given individual coacli.ing to deter­square of sheepskin than anyone else on great material for production in the mine their flexibility. On the> third day the Forty Acres. In October there were round, although harder than regular another call-bark was posted, and the (LEFT) Not much building is necessary for Theater-in-the-Round productions, since elaborate sets are dis­pensed with, but skeletonized version called for a stairway so crew members whipped one up. (RIGHT) Props are anything from a match to a bull fiddle and are always hard to keep tabs on in the frenzied, overcrowded activity backstage. In a hard-drinking comedy like "Th e Male Animal," glasses and bottles are a big per· centage of props. THE CREW, ITS MUSCLES Publicity plays a vital part in any production. Designing stencil with which posters will be mass-produced takes place in one of MLB's crummiest holes. Lobby displays are cut, painted, and pasted here too. AND• (IF ALL GOES WELL) script of The Mc,le Anirnu.i was used to catch the actors' possibilities in specific parts. The last day everyone was given a chance to read so that Cass could pick up anyone previously over!.,oked. Then Mr. Cass, department chairman Loren Winship, and various others met to approve the cast arid to select crews for the dirty work. Crew heads for light­ing, publicity, properties, and costumes were chosen on the basis of experience -drawn usually from the more advanced technical courses. The following day a group of unin- THE DIRECTOR BREATHES LIFE INTO IT hibited drama students clustered in the lobby of MLB and looked upward. An­nouncement Df the crew and cast had been posted on the department bulletin board. The grind was on. Since, you can't have many painted backdrops in a Round production, stage crew head Frank Crawford's major job here became the construction of a stair­case leading to the imaginary second floor. The important function of prop crew head was assumed by Betty Voert­rnan, who with three aides became re­bponsible for the appearance of chairs, (Continued on page 52) ASUCCESS Story: VICTOR JUNGER Photography: BOB BA!N AND CHARLES DELPHENIS Both cast and audience enter Theater-in-the-Round from stage door. Here, actress makes entrance during first act at dress rehearsal. While waiting for cues, players wait in the gloomy confines of MLB hall. OPENING NIGHT, PLAYERS PERFORM ALMOST IN THE LAPS OF THE AUDIENCE WHICH IS SEATED AT STAGE LEVEL ON THREE SIDES SURROUNDING THE SPARSE SET. RESULTING INTIMACY OF THE PRODUCTION IS ESSENTIAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEATER-IN­THE-ROUND AND ORTHODOX THEATER. 72 NOVEMBER, 1948 E NOS sat by the cabin window and looked out on the night. Slowly he lowered his chin till it rested on the outer ledge. He felt the gentle night breeze, and he breathed deeply of the cool, clean air to drive out the stink of coal oil and the stale odor of kids' pallets. His eyes, puffed and dry from the day's hot sun and cotton field dust, ached as he tried to make out Dan­iel's tall straight figure standing by the fender of the new Chevrolet. Enos rubbed his eyes and tried to think of nothing. The hound lay stretched on the hard­packed, bare, black earth in front of the stoop, the black spots of him a part of the earth, only the white making· a mot­tled arc on the ground. Enos heard the hound's slight whine and saw his tail wag lamely, probably at the thought of the jack rabbit he'd caught that day or maybe fear for the rattlesnake he'd run onto along the East Fork the next day. Then, spotting the glow of Daniel's cig­arette by the car, the dog walked care­fully toward the jntruder and Enos knew he'd be sniffing in the air for the strange smell and whethel' it was the smell of friend or enemy. Enos saw the whiteness of the dog's head circling his brother slowly, and knew the tail would be wag­ging only a little, ready to tuck between his legs at a moment's notice. Then Dan­iel's brown hand covered the hound's white head as the man patted the dog. A gust of wind rattled the bamboo stalks which clustered around the water hole fifty yards from the cabin, and Enos tried to think what fine fishing poles they'd make and how, when the cotton was in, he'd take the whole family on a two-day trip to the big bend where the East Fork flowed into the river, and they'd camp out and fish and cook their catch over an open fire. A bullfrog's hoarse call came from the water hole, and far beyond on the next farm, a dog's faint bark. Behind him in the stuffy room, Enos heard the cornshuck mat­tress on his and Ivy's bed rustle and he knew she wa~ still awake, but he didn't say anything. A quiet--almost secret-­creak of the rotting boards on the front stoop caused him to turn his head. Tom­my Lee was standing there looking .to­ward Daniel and the dog and the new car. Enos pushed himself to his feet and leaned farther through the window, ready to call to his son. Then, almost ashamed, he stood frozen because of something inside he couldn't explain or couldn't quite recognize, hoping that the child wouldn't see him. Enos let his breath out slowly and pulled back, all the time watching Tommy Lee to see if the boy was conscious of his father. Enos sat down again, this time all of him in­side the shack, and he could no longer feel nor breathe the fresh breeze. Tommy Lee stood with one foot on the porch, the other on the round log cut crosswise that served as the step to the ground. Hesitantly the boy took the next step, standing finally with both feet on the earth, looking toward his uncle and seeming to wait for something. A strap from the boy's overalls was gone and the pants legs came only midway to his ankles. Then Tommy Lee held out both his arms like a toddler just learning to walk and ran in short, jerky, zigzagging steps toward Daniel. Reaching the older man, the boy threw his arms around his uncle's body, and Enos could hear the sobs as Tommy Lee buried his head. (Continued on next page) TEXAS RANGER FISHING TRIP Enos moved quietly through the room. When he was in the center by the round dining table he noticed the two eyes on the corner pallet where they caught the starlight from the open window. That would be John Franklin. "~lose your eyes, John Franklin, and go to sleep," Enos said, not able to keep the bite from his voice. He turned toward the open door to the front stoop, then stopped. He stood there for a few sec­onds before turning around. Then, slow­ly, he walked back to John Franklin's pallet. The boy's eyes were squeezed tight, making little wrinkles all around them. Enos knelt and put his hand on his oldest son's forehead, and, with his finger s, slowly brushed the tenseness from around the boy's eyes. "Now close your eyes, Son," he said more gently, "and get to sleep." Enos could hear Tommy Lee's voice, soft and high, when he stepped outside. · The boy seemed to be questioning his uncle. There would be a slight pause, then the glow of the cigarette as Daniel puffed on it, then Daniel's lower, even softer, reply. "Tommy Lee," Enos said, stepping to the ground. He did not want to keep the hardness from his voice. "I told you kids to get to bed. Now git!" He lightly swatted Tommy Lee with his open hand as the boy hurried past him into the cabin. A LMOST diffidently, Enos strolled across the yard toward his brother. He saw the straight shoulders and the near-lightness with which Daniel leaned back against the fender, and purposely slowed his steps as he let his own shoul­ders sag more than they had, and his walk became a shuffle. "Kid's don't ever do what you tell them," he said, but his voice wasn't really angry. The hound was stretched out on the ground at Dan­iel's feet, looking off into the night at something only dogs could see. He turned and wagged his tail faintly when Enos came up, inching his body over the ground without getting to his feet, and raising his head to lick Enos' hand as the man squatted on his haunches. Enos rubbed the hound's head, his hand cov­ering the long skull, his thumb catching behind one ear and his two smaller fin~ gers behind the other. The dog whined a little and squirmed, flicking out his long tongue over his nose to lick at Enos' wrist. "What's his name?" Daniel said. "Lord, I don't know." Enos tried to laugh. "He come with the place. You know how dogs are, first one and then another. We just call him 'Pooch.' We've called all of them 'Pooch' since the last three places.'' And then, for a moment, the fog was lifted and jagged and faint. The night was purple and beautiful as Daniel pushed through the mist, holding out his cigarettes and offering Enos one, strik­ing a match and lighting the cigarette. As if sensing what Enos really wanted, Daniel slid away from the shiny new car and dropped to his haunches beside his brother. Enos heard Daniel's knees pop and crackle and felt a tiny, light­headed madness coming on him as he thought that Daniel hadn't sat that way Daniel blew a thick stream of smoke from his mouth that mixed in with the mist. "The car's fine, Enos," he said. "I don't mind sleeping in the car." Enos felt himself nearly panting as he looked into the darkness of the under­brush toward the water hole. "Daniel," he said. "My boys are at a fine age­John Franklin and Tommy Lee. They talk and say things. Did you ever think how fine that is? Not being afraid to say things, not letting yourself go on wanting.... F eeling dried up and stiff ---~·~.-;------­ in a long time. For one wild moment, and brittle. . . ." He stopped suddenly Enos let his imagination soar. He would as if he'd released some horrible secret ask Daniel how men talked to each other that a man should keep to himself. in the cities, how could they say what "Enos, why didn't the doctor take care was on their minds unless they squatted of John Franklin?" Daniel said softly. on their haunches and talked. Then the Enos shook his head. "God, I don't mist and fog returned once more as know," he said. "I don't know nothing Daniel darkened the air with the smoke any more." from his cigarette. "Didn't he even give you some medi­ "Wish we had room for you to sleep cine?" some place," Enos said. "After calling "He didn't even open his bag after wa you• down here and everything, it don't told him John Franklin hadn't been a\Jl~ seem right not laying down a pallet or to walk for three days," Enos sai~ "l just don't know." ' something." Enos took a long drag from his cig­arette, staring off into the darkness to­ward the rows of cotton that led to the banks of the creek. "I got a nice stand of cotton," he said quietly. "I guess the nicest stand of cotton on the East Fork." "Doctors ain't supposed to do that," Daniel said. "Doctors are supposed to take care of the sick. They say they'll do that when they get out of school." The cigarette had burned short in Enos' hand as he took his last drag, the glow of it warm between his thumb and forefinger-. "He can't help it," he said, looking at the dying cigarette as he pushed it round and round in the pow­dered black dust at his feet. "He's an old man and he's got to do what folks around here tell him to do, I guess." Enos didn't look at his brother. "Folks wouldn't tell a doc not to treat a sick kid!" Daniel's voice was sharp. "You know that, Enos!" Enos looked at the• ground. Slowly he tried wriggling one of his fingers to see if it was still alive. "No," he said. "I guess you're right. They wouldn't tell a doc nothing like that." Enos' shoulder felt numb where Daniel grabbed him, and Enos felt warm toward Daniel. He felt like he was off in the sky reaching toward Daniel, and like Daniel was trying to reach him, and they just couldn't meet; but they both were reach­ing. "What's happening?" Enos heard the words only dimly, far away, and smiled because he knew that Daniel felt warm too, and was trying to reach him. Daniel was trying, too. "You ask me to come down and help you, Enos. You've got to tell me what's happening if you want me to help you." E NOS was a little boy again, like Tom­my Lee and John Franklin, and he was off in the sky talking somewhere to Daniel and so 1011g as he talked he'd stay there and he'd b~ 13afe, and the words fell from his lips. "Remember, Daniel, when we was little b~ys even, and living over at Sibley, how we w~s always after Papa to move over to th~ Fork and grow cotton, and Papa was always trying and never could get a place. Why, if we ever got to the Fork everybofly from all around would pass by the Tiner place and see that cotton growing high as a man's shoulder. And folks ' would come in from all around and tip their hats to Mama. Farmers would pass tp.e time by saying, 'Looks like we needed the Tiners to show us how to raise cotton.' And we'd have a surrey and ride down the road and folks would come out to tal~ to us because we had the richest staqq pf cot­ton on all the Fork. Retµepib~r h~w we used to talk about i~'. Da~iel? A,.r~ we (Contmued on Pftg~ ~4) girl of the month TEXAS RANGER 25 photographs: ALICE KING jeanne meredith A HARD-RUNNING Longhorn fullback jackknifes over the center of the line and is mashed into the ground by seven or eight hundred pounds of enemy beef. When the officials untangle the mass, the fullback can't get up. An eager center fielder in pursuit of a fly ball launches himself head-on into the geologic formation rimming Clark Field. Like the fullback, he can't get up. In both instances, the first to rush on the field is likely to be a little brown man in immaculate white trousers and sweatshirt and a navy blue skullcap. For when a Texas athlete is hurt, that's when his coach steps out and Frank Medina steps in. Medina is probably the greatest inno­vation in University of Texas athletic circles since the development of adhesive tape. When Dana Bible coaxed Frank away from St. Mary's of California in 1945 and set him up as Texas' one and only trainer, he got a gem comparable to a dozen all-state quarterbacks. From his headquarters in the Me­ morial Stadium locker room, Medina takes care of the sore and injured of every competitive sport the Longhorns particip11te in. "There's more science in that man than in the physics department," Bill Sansing, FRANK MEDINA: BACKSLAPPER by George Christian the sports publicity director, claims. "If kee stock, his parents having come from Frank believes. He especially marvels at a new idea in training comes along, the Indian colony in western North Car­the French and the Italians. Frank will be one of the first to use it." olina. He began his training career at "They train on wine," he says. "Those That statement is borne out by one Haskell Institute. guys drink more wine than they do glance at the equipment Medina has in Medina's talent has not gone unrecog­water, but it apparently doesn't hurt his "torture chamber." If pride makes nized. His yearly clinic on training for them. I even knew some of them to drink something a little better than average, Texas high school coaches and trainers it for breakfast. If an American did Frank has the best training set-up in has won friends all over the state, and that, he probably wouldn't be able to the country. he has a standing invitation to help stay on the track." "I've got ultra-violet rays, any number train the players at the annual East­Medina has praise for some of the of infra-red rays, short-wave diathermy, West football game sponsored by the foreign trainers, including the Scandina­two whirlpool baths, a steam room, and Shiners in San Francisco. Until this vians who, he says, had the best mas­a needle-point shower," he reports. "And summer, that game was his prize Christ­seurs in the world. But some of the teams it's all done up in white paint and chrome mas present. came to Britain with little more than a like a miniature hospital." But then he was invited to go along first-aid kit and a manager. Out of cour­Medina feels that his training gear is ·with the American Olympic team to Lon­tesy, Frank and the other American one of the most evident credits to the don as one of its seven trainers. trainers took on the added load of caringUniversity. "I've seen training equip­He thinks his month-long stay in for some of the United States' opponents. ment all over the country, but I've never Europe was "really wonderful." That, to Me9-ina, was all part of the seen anything to compare with what "There were seven of us to take care game. "The Olympics are the crown ofwe've got to take care of our men." of three hundred athletes and sometimes competitive athletics. The competition isBut the equipment would be useless the work was pretty hard, but those keen but clean. It's a good-will tourna­without a man of Medina's caliber to Olympic people were the most splendidly ment all the way." operate it. He's been a trainer for eight­conditioned athletes I've ever seen. When een years, after he decided. he was too you get a group like that, your work is Here at home, Medina's prime consid­eration is to take care of the Longhorns. small to be an athlete. more of a pleasure than ever." Born thirty-three years ago in Ne­Some of the foreign teams were in Conditioning is the all-important fac­braska, Medina is of full-blooded Chero-just as good shape as the Americans, (Continued on page 46) TEXAS RAN GER 27 PICK A CARD ... any card. The chances are at least 5,000 to 1 that you can't pick ten football game winners in one week. A STUDENT walked up to the cashier tion of a football parlay card. The match­ in the small restaurant near the cam­ing card held by the cashier was the pus. Fishing around in his wallet, he smaller bottom portion. The cards look . found a yellow card which he presented something like this. On the front is to the man behind the cash register. The printed a list of football games, usually cashier looked at the card and after about thirty, to ·be played on the follow­thumbing through a similar stack of ing Saturday. The list begins with teams yellow, white, and blue cards in a cigar that are presumed to be evenly matched, box, found a yellow card which compared and ends with the teams that are most with the first one. Satisfied that every­unevenly matched. Each team is num­thing was in order, he took a five dollar bered, and to the right of each game the bill from the box and gave it to the handicap is marked. From top to bot­young man. tom, selections from the list may look something like this: "This really hurts me to take your money like this," the young man said I. Asthma Tech 2. Pulst! Normal Even 3. Potawattamie 4. Texas Gentilt!s + 6 jokingly. 5. Utah Tech 6. Tanganyika +1 7. Simian Institute 8. Piedras Negras + 12"It doesn't hurt me," the cashier 9. Tierra del Fuego 10. Kansas Seminary +1a 11. U. C. A. N. 12. Nevada Lyceum +1s smiled. "It's no money out of our pock­ 13. Lampasas 14. Rhode Island +20 ets." 15. 0. G. P. U. 16. Celibate Normal +aa 17. Shrdl U. 18. Westphalia +46 How had the student won the five dol­Below the list of games is a perforatedlars? And from whom? The answers to line so that the bottom portion of thethese questions reveal a story involving parlay card may be torn off and turnedhundreds of University students, thou­ in with the amount to be bet. Below the sands of Austin citizens, and hundreds perforation, on the part of the card to of thousands of dollars. Its simply a be turned in, is a list of all the numbersstory of across-the-counter gambling in which preceded each team on the top list. Austin that has been tolerated for a number of years. On the back of the card is the name The card which the young man had of the card and a card number written taken from his wallet was the top por-O!J. top and bottom for identification. In the middle of the card is listed the pay­off points. Most cards carry these points: 3 winners 5 points 4 winners 5 winners 6 winners 7 winners 9 points 13 points 21 points 31 points 8 winners 9 winners 10 winners 50 points 75 points100 points This simply means that if you make five selections on a card and all of them win, (ties lose) you get back thirteen times the amount you bet. If you had bet one dollar, you would have twelve dol­lars profit. On Wednesday or Thursday before the Saturday game, these cards are vi .. ., ..c... 0 (ABOVE) These tan saddle-stitched sport shoes (with buckle on the side) and other sim­ilar ones are slowly replacing saddle shoes in many college wardrobes. {UPPER LEFT) At first glance, a dark blue worsted suit doesn't seem exactly bold. But look again. It's a single· button drape, worn with a widespread collar shirt and blue polkadot tie. Which seems to prove that bold doesn't necessarily mean prison pin stripes or comedian glen plaid. (LOWER LEFT) If you aren't quite bold enough to wear a turtle-neck sweater {SEE PAGE 29), try these stripes on your bedroom friends. The trapeze artist, who has worn 'em for years, regards our man (a strict pajama-coat-inside type) with amused disdain. The man who mod­eled the bold look at the circus is BOB WATS 0 N from Wichita Falls. His main interest is golf -he's captained the UT team for three years-and he won the Southwest Confer­ence title last year, Bob also sells men's clothes for Norwood's, Plans to make a career of golf and/or clothing. NOVEMBER, 19'48 30 "WE ARE THE AGGIES, THE AGGIES ARE WE'' AREN'T WE? Every two years the agrarians come to town. From the corn fields and syrup stills of Texas, the boys of AMC will come to gawk at brick buildings, try to date fickle Texas coeds, and paint the town red. Once again their faces will flush as they fill the streets of Austin to overflowing. Laughing, singing, dancing, hang­ing signs. The cadence call will be heard above the stomping of feet from the halls of Kirby to the shores of Littlefield Foun­tain. At Seventh and Congr·ess they will spill over the curb into the Stephen F. Austin Hotel where they will mill in the lobby and chat about bovine diseases. At dark, on the eve of their big day, the Aggies will undobutedly visit the Forty Acres. As they roam over the campus, they will spend considerable time admiring Littlefield Fountain and the stadium. But by 2400 hours, the hoarse horse­men will all be back at the hotel singing "We are the Aggies, the Aggies are we." They .are, aren't they. TEXAS RANGER "TRUE TO EACH OTHER" Story and Illustrations: GEORGE WARMACK "Saw Varsity's horns off . · . saw Varsity's horns off." llOVEMBER, 1948 SHOUT WITH DELIGHT! They're all pleased with our splen­did 2-hour dry cleaning and I-day laundry service. LODGHORD CLEANERS 2538 Guadalupe CALL 3847 FOR DELIVERY SERVICE HARRIS WAYSIDE INN on Borton Springs Rood 1 Block West of Lamar GOOD FOOD well served at moderate prices FISHING TRIP was right. We was right all the time. And when this chance came to take over twenty-six acres on halves on the Tatum place, I knowed it was the chance of a lifetime. And we was right. We was right, Daniel. I'll get a bale to the acre. And when the crop's in, I'm going to get Ivy some silk material for a new dress like she wants, and she'll take what's left over and make little dresses for Mary Ann and Joy Lucy and Sue Ellen. We've talked about it. And when the crop's in, we're going on a fishing trip to the river and just camp out and not think about cotton for maybe two or three days. We've already planned what we're going to do, and Mister Jim Tatum is going to see that he didn't make a mistake when he let the Tiners move on his place. Mister Jim Tatum is going to know tha.t ..." Suddenly he felt the spasm coming up from his in­side, filling up all his guts, swelling him up like he was bloated, and the painful, awful sob starting in the bottom of his guts and welling up and him not being able to stifle it with the choking, racking cough so Daniel wouldn't know. It had to come out and he was ashamed and sat there on his haunches, the tears running down his face and into the dusty earth between his legs, the silent shaking sobs that just went on and went on and beat against his body as if they'd tear him apart before they could get out. It was like the top of his head might blow off if he didn't holler or cry out loud as he had as a kid. He just couldn't help it, and he sat there and cried. But softly, softly, quietly, the sobs died, and Enos felt the warmth from Daniel's arm that held his shoulders steady and he could no longer feel ashamed for a thing that couldn't be helped. • (Continued from page 25) "Daniel," he said, looking into his brother's eyes, "We can't get no more credit at the store in town. Mister Jim Tatum told Mister Renfro he wouldn't back us no longer because we already owed a hunnerd and fifty dollar." "Daniel," he said, wanting him to un­derstand and be a part of it. "Daniel, we been eatin' jack rabbits for three weeks. We can't even get molasses and corn meal on credit. They won't give us nothin'." He had turned on his heels to face his brother, and felt both his hands biting into Daniel's shoulders. Daniel must feel it, the pain, the horror, the "awful emptiness. "Daniel, he's tryin' to drive us off. He don't want to give us our halves. The cotton's planted and chopped and after one more hoeing will be ready to lay by. Daniel, he's tryin' to starve us out." Daniel had to know, had to feel it; and Enos felt his own hands, alive and bit­ing. "That's why the doctor wouldn't do nothing for John Franklin. It means over five hunnerd dollar to Mister Jim Tatum if we leave." He felt the sob again; he knew it would come. "Daniel, folks around here don't know, but Mister Jim Tatum is a stingy-mean man, and I don't know what to do." Enos buried his head on his older brother's shoulder and cried again. He didn't know, he didn't know what to do, and Daniel led him up to the house. And there was the patter of the hound-dog's paws on the ground behind them, and the patter was a rapid thud that kept time with Enos' heart, beating and straining against his chest. Enos was tired out with fear. Enos wouldn't look at him. He felt the (Continued on page 36) • • ' Here Is a Bank that Understands University People and Their Needs When University People . . . students, assistants, professors, employees . . . need the services o:f a bank, they come to the Capital National. When you need assistance, come in and discuss your needs with these understanding officers. WALTER BREMOND, JR., President JNO. A. GRACY, Vice-President and Trust Officer E. P . CRAVENS, Vice-President WALTER BOHN, Vice-President LEO KUHN, Cashier • THE CAPITAL NATIONAL BANK Seventh Street between Congress and Colorado • W. C. KENNEDY, Ass't Vice-President JOHNS. BURNS, Ass't Vice-President AUG. DeZAVALA, Special Representative F. M. DuBOSE, Assistant Cashier ROY B. STEW ART, Assistant Cashier Capital National Bank Building MEMBER FEDERAL DEPOSIT INSURANCE CORPORATION MEMBER FEDERAL RESERVE SYSTEM TEXAS RANGER 35 specialists in the Examination of the Eyes and the Fitting of Glasses. WARD & TREADWELL (!)p~ Seventh & Congress WHERE THE STUDENTS GET THEIR GLASSES JOIN THE GANG AT VARSITY INN friendly stu.dent atmosphere 6208 DALLAS HIGHWAY Phone 2-0477 for reservations FISHING TRIP bones like a skeleton wrapped in the dirty brown comfort and was surprised at the lightness of the boy. He wouldn't look at Ivy, either. He knew she was running up the wide, white hospital steps beside him, her face bent low over John Franklin's dull brown eyes, the boy only half-conscious what was going on. Enos tried to walk straight up the steps, looking toward th!:) shining glass doors, a relief inside of him that Daniel was there in front and would know what to do. "I'm Daniel Tiner," Enos heard his brother say. "I phoned from East Fork this morning about my nephew. He needs to see a doctor." Enos stood in the middle of the lobby, the boy in his arms, and the tattered brown comfort hanging uneven from John Franklin's legs. Enos felt dirty and unwanted in the white, clean lobby. The cool woman's voice: "Yes, Mr. Tiner. Won't you come this way, please." And like a dream lady, she tripped off down the hall, stepping from one cloud to an­other, Daniel tripping behind her. And bringing up the rear, Enos knew he was trudging through all the fluff and stir­ring up cloud dust the way he stirred up dust as he shuffled between cotton rows. He was solid and all this was airy. Even Ivy tripped along beside him. Her body, distorted and filmy, could do all sorts of tricks, part of her float in front of him and the wind would blow her back to the side. Only her face was the same and never changed. Her face was beside him and looking down at John Franklin and it was dry and parched like the • "He's fading (Continued from page 34) earth in August. Enos did not even feel his arms' loss when he had laid John Franklin on the examination table. His arms were heavy and real things as he carefully pulled the comfort back and let it drape down from the white clean table. They were real, solid, down-to-earth things like Ivy's face and her wide, frightened eyes that hovered over John Franklin. Ivy's small, stained hands that fussed busily over the boy's body, straightening his overalls and tucking his shirttail in. Ivy did real things. "The doctor will be here shortly," the cool woman said. And Enos felt Daniel leading him away, leaving Ivy behind, fluttering over the skinny little boy who lay on the table, the boy's eyes dull and wanting nothing. T HEY sat on their chairs at the end of the hallway and slowly Enos re­turned from wherever it was he'd been and saw himself sitting in the chair, so old and bent he hardly recognized him­self. He was sitting there beside Daniel who looked as he had always looked. Enos looked at himself and saw his over­alls, still dirty and sweaty from yester­day in the fields, his shoes scuffed and spotted with creek-bottom mud, and sud­denly he was ashamed of his tiredness and oldness, and he returned to his own body and slowly tucked his shoes under the chair with the holes in the bottom turned toward the wall so nobody would notice. "Enos, as soon as we find out about John Franklin," his brother said, "I'm (Continued on page 38) • ... fading .. NOVEMBER, 1948 TEXAS RAN$E~ HEADACHES and BLURRED VISION corrected with properly fitted GLASSES Specialists in student visual problems DRS. BROUGHTON & STEEL OPTOMETRIC EYE SPECIALISTS 110 East 6th Phone 2-8634 Littlefield Bldg. THE TAVERN WHERE NEW AND OLD FRIENDS MEET. • 12th at Lamar Phone­2-3620 FISHING TRIP taking you and Ivy and the kids back to Dallas with me." Enos studied his fingers over and over, holding them out straight from his hands and looking at the black rims which cir­cled the nails on every finger. "Daniel," he said, without looking up, "I'm awful hungry. Could you maybe buy me a lit­tle stick of candy or something?" Then Daniel, holding him by the shoul­der and leading him down the long white hospital steps into the street. Another­worldness about the street with its honk­ing cars, and him and Daniel hurrying into the little cafe across the street. Enos felt himself tumble then catch himself on the small corner table and Daniel pushing the chair under him. Then, it seemed, the waitress was putting the huge steaming platter of scrambled eggs and sausage before him almost before he had sat down, and he knew he was wolfing it down, spilling some of the food on his clothes, but not caring, and all the time Daniel kept telling him. He could barely hear the words . . . place for Ivy and the kids ... eggs with lots of pepper ... rwt rnuch ... half a sau­sage . . . I'm payin' for my hoilse and car ... toast with jelly dripping over ... your kids'll have a chance . .. . All the words mixed together with eggs and sausage and good black coffee and the smoke from cigarettes like one big dish of stew served in a pewter bowl. Then Daniel was shaking his arm again. Why (Continued from page 36) NGER Easy on the eyes, easy to wear, easy on your pocket­1bodk-this double breasted interpretation of the season's most popular style among younger men, will appeal to your i n d i iV i du a I "dress sense," or din a i· y "horse sense" gives it a big· okay too. Its free, swining lines impart perfect comfort and appearance. It's a NOR­WOOD tailored number. F ea­tured exclusively by Tailor-Made from $50 NO. 1 S. V. NORWOOD AND SON 2548 GUADALUPE­THAT'S 2 BLOCKS NORTH OF THE VARSITY THEATER MEDINA (Continued from page 27) tor in how many injuries a team suffers during a season, Medina declares. "There's not another football team in the nation in as good physical shape as the current Longhorn eleven," he claims. "They started fall training in good shape and they've stayed that way," he says. "To my knowledge there's not a harder-playing team around, and yet we probably have fewer injuries than any team in the section." Broken bones and serious illnesses are another thing, Medina points out. "For example, one of our players is in great condition and he's tough as a boot. But now he has a chipped bone in his angle. And he's got the heaviest bones a person could have. An injury like that is plain bad luck." Frank's job is to prevent mJuries as well as to treat them. Though massage and the whirlpool baths, he keeps plenty of aching muscles from turning into something more serious. It's also his task to tape up the weak ankles and knees, and to diagnose and treat every minor ailment from athlete's foot to stone bruises. Medina has a couple of student assist­ants in Joe Worden and Jackie Jones who help him with the freshmen and the minor jobs, but the main load is on his own shoulders. "My job's made easier because we have such a good team physician in Dr. Charles Bintliff," Medina asserts. "He's on the spot all the time, and our work actually overlaps to a large extent." Where is the theoretical dividing point between Medina's chores and Bintliff's? "Well," Frank grins, "if a germ's in­volved or if a man is unconscious and looks like he might be pretty bad off, that's Dr. Bintliff's field. I'm not a phy­sician. I know first aid and I can take care of the minor hurts, but I stop there." No matter where Medina stops, every man who plays a collegiate sport at Texas knows a quick-thinking little man named Frank will be there first if any­thing happens to him on the playing field. The coaching staff puts the clock to­gether, but Frank Medina makes it tick. -THE END 46 NOVEMBER, 1948 Hotel Clerk to Prospective Guest : I'm sorry, but we don't have room serv­ice. INDIAN AND MEXICAN ARTS AND CRAFTS GIFTS .. that are Distinctive and Different handmade sterling sil­. ver, hand carved purses and belts, billfolds. THE UNUSUAL IN INDIAN AND MEXICAN POTTERY BASKETS AND NOVELTIES We carry a complete line of piecegoods. NELSON'S TRADING POST 4612 San Antonio Highway open Sundays 2 :00-6:30 closed on Mondays other days 9:30 -6:30 Guest: Oh, that's all right. Clerk: You'll have to make your own bed. Guest: That's all right. Clerk: You'll find hammer, saw, lum­ ber, and nails in the back room.-Bored • A Philosopher is a man who can look into an empty glass and smile. -Ray Milland • "They call me beaver 'cause I swim so well."-Eleanor Rose • A customer went into a barber shop. "What's the idea of your hands being so dirty?" he asked the barbebr. "Nobody's had a shampoo today," con­fessed the barber.-Slick • The spinster, shocked by the language used by the two men repairing telephone wires near her home, wrote to the com­pany to complain. The foreman was or­dered to report the happening to his superior. "Me and Bill Winterbottom were on this job," he reported, "I was up on the telephone pole and accidentally let hot lead fall on Bill and it went down his neck. Then . he called up to me, 'You really mm1t be more careful, Harry.'" TEXAS RANGER This Model: STRAP LACES, RED RUBBER SOLES. SOLD EXCLUSIVELY AT S. V. NORWOOD & SON 2548 GUADALUPE Invites You to DINE & DANCE at CEDAR CREST LODGE Located on top of a hill where you get a beautiful view of the "hill country." 4 miles from BARTON SPINGS on BEE CAVE ROA[). for party reservations CALL 2-1902 .. 31JF "WHATA'SHAME! I HOPE YOU PEOPLE ARE WELL INSURED!il~, , ·:1-1' She may not know ·~:rt-but she does know the value of insurance! One of our salesmen will be glad to call at your convenience. No obligation, of course. We have every type insurance-auto, liability, theft, fire-all of them. NASH PHILLIPS COPUS CO. REAL ESTATE -LOANS -INSURANCE 1011 Yz Congress Phone 8-6461 FAULKNER NAT'L BANK One Drag drug store cashed over a million dollars worth of checks last year. At ten cents a check, C. E. Faulkner makes money by letting students have it. W HEN he came to Austin sixteen years ago, Mr. C. E. Faulkner, the pro­prietor of Faulkner Drug Store No. 2, at 2552 Guadalupe, was told by Austin citizens that it would be inadvisable to set up his business in the University neighborhood. It was said that the stu­dents would drive him crazy. However, Mr. Faulkner says he guesses he was crazy to start with, for in all his twenty­five years of business, he finds that he has never known a more pleasurable pe­riod than that time he has spent serving University of Texas stud'ents. Possibly one reason for Mr. Faulkner's pleasure lies in the fact that a service offered by Faulkner No. 2, that of cashing checks, has met with notable success, and is to­day the distinguishing feature of that establishment. "Well, you know, I just kind of stag­gered onto cashing checks," Mr. Faulk­ner relates, saying that his first accom­modations were offered free of charge. He recalls that he cashed only a few random checks in the early days of Faulkner No. 2, a modest, corridor-like drug store which has outlived its prede­cessor, the now-discontinued Faulkner .,,,~ ~ . _ No. 1. (As there are several details con­nected with changing the name of a store, including a financial loss, Mr. Faulkner has never bothered with alter­ing the famous No. 2.) But since 1941, the year that Mr. Faulkner came to Guadalupe Street, his check-cashing service has expanded in prodigious leaps. War prosperity brought demands for such a service, and when veterans re­ceiving monthly GI checks began return­ing to school, as general University en­rollment increased to more than 16,000, a tremendous pressure became evident. Too, Mr. Faulkner has not been unaware of the nurses at nearby Seton Hospital, nor of the maids, janitors, and cooks of the neighborhood who work in various student dwellings, and whose checks re­quire attention from time to time .... As Mr. Faulkner points out, no one wants to fool with going to a downtown bank. So, as he began to· see that the need for liquidation of checks was great in his district, Mr. Faulkner started keeping larger and larger sums of money on hand for his customers, as it were, and to charge a fee of ten cents for each check cashed at his store, wheth­er drawn on a local or out of town bank. "You see," explains Mr. Faulkner, a tense, lean man with cautious bespecta­cled eyes and balding head, "business is just like a big wheel. To get on the wheel you've got to pick your angle and stick to it, always operating at a margin of profit." Apparently, Mr. Faulkner has chosen a good angle, for his obscure-looking drug store with its old-fashioned soda­fountain and dim shelves of curatives has become a channel through which dollars flow in torrents. Faulkner No. 2 cashed over a million dollars worth of checks in 1947 and is expected to do the same, if not better, in 1948. Mr. Faulkner keeps a special fund of $5,000 at his store ("I have it hidden away", he says) in anticipation of a day's drainage by his assorted patrons, who on the average draw $3,000 a day from his store. However, on occasions, this fund proves entirely inadequate, and Mr. Faulkner has to make a quick trip to an Austin bank, which incidentally, has found it necessary to charge Mr. Faulkner $100 a month for handling the checks, somewhat to his dismay. Of course, as every school boy knows, the University Co-Op., 'directly across from the main campus, is the mainstay of student and faculty check-cashers, who there present something like $13,000 worth of checks during a run-of-the-mill NOVEMBER, 1948 ....' ON ANY OCCASION BELDING FLOWERS SAY IT BETTER -SO ALWAYS SAY IT WITH !Bt:fdLn9 'Jfowt:'t1­ On the Drag In the 27th and center of town Guadalupe 125 E. 7th Phone Phone 7-4478 8-6444 HARPER METHOD Corrective treatments will give your hair and scalp new .life and sheen. • EUGENE RADAR PERMANENT WAVES The kind of curl you wish you were born with. • HARPER METHOD SHOP 2605 Phone Guadalupe 2-0737 day, but who have been known to de­ mand as much as $45,000 between 8:30 in the morning and 5 :15 in the after­ noon. And trailing the Co-Op at some distance, but still an integral part of the University district's devious banking system, is the Texas Book Store, the Co­ Op's rocmy neighbor to the iiouth. These stores, as is customary throughout the district, charge five cents on out of town checks but make no charge on local ones. But both establishments are closed in the evenings, as are the Hemphill Book­ stores, and they shut down for the week­ end at 1 p.m. Saturdays. There are a number of other places at the fringe of the campus-cafes, drug stores, book stores-which will take care of student checks within varying limi­tations, without, however, actually con­centrating on check-cashing as a serv­ice. It is characteristic of the lesser sources of ready cash that they refuse to cash checks on week-ends (even if they are open then), and that they look grimly upon the larger drafts. Mr. Faulkner, on the other hand, stays open 7 days a week until 11 :00 p.m. and warmly greets any personal check up to $50 and any GI check, whether $75 or $125. "I want the students to know I ap­preciate their patronage," states Mr. Faulkner, who says with some excite­ment that his service is getting bigger all the time. "Tell them to bring on their checks, the more the better!" And whenever they may choose to cash their checks during the week, on Sunday students without cavil are appreciative of Paulkner's Financial Oasis in a town where it is not inconceivable that a man who has spent unwisely on Saturday night could perish with hunger or the ; the actual performance. supervising the distribu­tion of props to make certain that noth­ing happened similar to an incident last year in the dress rehearsal of School for Wives. The hero came on stage to offer his leading lady a poem to read, but without a scrap of paper on his per­son. This left the ingenue the job of faking some lines until he went back to get the document. Appearing as an in­surance salesman in the Theater-in-the­Round production of The Show-Off, one actor had to come on while dropping a briefcase, paper and hat at precise posi­tions during the blackout which takes the place of a curtain. At one perform­ance his briefcase, instead of falling on the sewing machine which was its in­tended resting place, fell in the lap of a lady in the front row of the audience. Then there was the occasion three sum­mers ago when the lawyer in a play came on stage to have the heroine sign a con­fession. He was about to offer his pen when he realized he had forgotten to bring it with him-so he offered her the ink bottle. She casually dipped her finger and signed. About this time publicity crew chief Ashton Pitre was briefed by Cass. Stories for home town papers on cast members, interesting angles on crew operations, and so on were channeled to the Texan and to Austin and out-of-town papers. Posters and lobby displays were also planned by this crew. Meanwhile director and cast had held their first night of rehearsal-a complete reading of the play followed by a group discussion of flaws and suggestions for business. ("Business" is anything the actors do on stage other than reciting.) The second, third and fourth nights were • (Continued from page 21) spent blocking out the acts. That is, Mr. Cass told the actors where to stand, walk, or fall. On the fifth night a run­through of the entire play, followed by a long bull session, ended the first week. Meanwhile, ·and until the final curtain, stage manager Bristow Hardin had served as liaison between director and cast, keeping the cast to the script by acting as prompter. The assistant direc­tor, Carol Basheim, set up shop as con­tact between Cass and the various crew heads. Conforming in spirit to an Actors Equity ruling that performers are cer­tain of their roles only after a ten-day testing period, Mr. Cass established a time· limit of six days. No one was canned. The second. week more details were thrown in, scripts were abandoned and props (gin bottles, umbrellas, books) were used. Sound effects came with the third week of rehearsals, calling for Lila Sessions' contribution as crew head, which was mostly that of disc jockey. Most of the effects were off-stage record­ings of "Who," "Cornsilk," crowd noises and college fight songs. The fourth week called for polishing rough spots, colecting costumes, planning lighting, and three nights of dress re­hearsal. Although make-up for·this com­edy was no problem for most, pains were taken in applying Dean Damon's facial . foliage. Seems that in George W cishing­ton Slept Here Mr. Fuller's painted moustache was reproduced on Mrs. Full­er's face after a kiss. And in The Time of Your Life Kit Carson, stroking his applied goatee, found it drifting snow­like to the stage. The first dress rehearsal was used to test the crews and their equipment, the second the actors. The last was a pre­view for the other drama students and a final warm-up for the cast. Then on opening night house manager Enid Loftis and crew distributed the playbill, 165 people took their seats around the carpeted stage, the house lights went off, and the show was on. - THE END • ~::!---­ NOVEMBER, 1948.. FAMOUS LAST WORDS He ought to be, he was strained through a cheesecloth. • I'll wash the dishes! • "But it was in Mabel's hand writing!" • "The guy in the fur coat didn't pay me a cent." • "Now he poses as cover boy for th.e phone book." • Get out of that bed and pay your ice bill. • "Hey Luke, it's been two weeks now, let's take these things off." 9 "I'm just warming your supper." ----0---­ "Isn't this a stupid party?" "Yes." "Why not let me take you home?" "Sorry, I live here." -Town and Country • A motorist in Kansas noticed that a farmer was having trouble with his horse. The nag would start, trot sadly for a few yards, stop, start again, go for a few yards, then stop again. The farmer then would have to speak sharply to the poor horse, which seemed reluctant to go again. The motorist finally pulled up along­ side and asked : "What's the matter, mis­ ter, your horse sick?" "No, he hain't stranger." "ls he balky?" "He hain't that either. It's jest that he's afeered I'll say 'Whoa' and he won't hear me. So he stops every few yards to listen."-Capper's Farmer • A census taker asked the woman at the door: How many in your family? Five, snapped the answer. Me the old man, kid, cow, and cat. And the politics of your family? Mixed. I'm a Republican, the old man's a Democrat, the kid's wet, the cow's dry, and the cat's a Populist. -Capper's Weekly • She: "Take me out and show me a good time." He: "It won't do us any good to look at it."-See • Cannibal: "Did you know the chief has hay fever?" Medicine Man: "Serves him right. I told him not to eat that grasswidow." -Ugh SPECIALIZING IN PRINTING AND ENGRAVING IN FORMALS INVITATIONS NAPKINS MATCH FOLDERS SOCIAL STATIONERY COMPLETE LINE OF OFFICE SUPPLIES CARBON PAPER RIBBONS DUPLICATOR SUPPLIES FILING SUPPLIES FOUNTAIN PENS FURNITURE GREETING CARDS COME IN TODAY von eoecHmAnn-Jones co. STATIONERS -PRINTERS -BOOKBINDERS 110 EAST NINTH ST. TELEPHONE 2-1163 TEXAS RANGER pen • For full details contact magazine business manager or write: BRAND NU • 425 FIFTH AVE., NEW YORK lb-, N. y_ IF YOU HAVEN'T ENTERED SAEGERT BROS.' "BATTLE OF THE GRIDIRON" be sure and DO SO TODAY NO COST-BEAUTIFUL PRIZES ABSO­LUTELY FREE. SIMPLY PICK THE WIN­NER OF THE TEXAS-TEXAS A. & M. GAME BY QUARTER SCORES. PICK UP YOUR ENTRY BLANK AT 1710 LAVACA It's Jesse from A. & M. and Clarence from Texas GET FUNNY-WIN MONEY If you have a joke you think is screamingly hilarious and which you'd like to share with other life-of-the-party bores, send it to t-he Ranger Humor Edi­tor, together with ten cents in coin. Your small stipend will be placed in a cigar box with the money from other contrib­utors, and at the end of the month, the person sending in the funniest one will receive--you should pardon it-the pot. Our decisions will be final and all 'jokes become the property of George Warmack and friends. Don't delay! You may have the fun­ niest one in Austin. (No Life Savers, please.) • "Yes, this is a very nice little apart­ment, but I don't see any bath." "Oh, pardon me! I thought you was another of those University boys who want a place just for the winter." -Mother Bloor • T HE September subsistence checks be­gan appearing in mail boxes on Oct. 13. Small groups of veterans huddled together to open the brown envelopes and speculate on the methods used by the Veterans Administration in deter­mining the check amounts. The checks sums ranged from $105.00 to $13.27, and the recipients started asking each other how such a variation occurred. When no one seemed to know, one vet decided to learn the story first hand. ' He threw a few things in his B-4 bag and hiked to Waco. In Waco this is what he learned. Late in August the Veterans Admin­istration hired a crystal gazer, a sports writer, and a pin setter. These three men were locked in a room which also con­tained the names and addresses of every college veteran in Texas. The pin setter would call out a vet's name, the crystal gazer would gaze at the crystal, and the sports writer would call out a score. The sports writer started with scores of the 1937 World Series and worked south through the tennis season. The first score he called was 13-27, so a check for $13.27 was clipped to the name selected by the pin setter. The pin setter, the crystal gazer, and the sports writer worked for over two weeks getting the checks out. They have now gone back to their old jobs because the October checks will all be either $105.00 or $75.00 and these figures can be taken care of by the regularly-em­ployed basket weaver, fry cook, and un­dertaker.-George Warmack NOVEMBER, 1948 STAUFFER "We have all kinds of customers who come to us," says Mrs. Ei;elle. "Not ev­eryone who comes here needs to lose weight. I know that Blue Belle nominees have used the Stauffer System, just to keep in shape. And a lot of people come here to relax-a lot of students who are nervous and cramped from studying all day. The machines are wonderful for relieving tension. But you've got to put everything out of your mind when you get on a table. We don't like women to come here and rearrange their furniture or their wardrobe mentally as they make the rounds." Mrs. Ezelle says that as far as weight-reduction goes, a Stauffer course-varying in length with the re­quirements of the individu11l-has a more or less permanent effect, but that occa­sionally someone has to come back fo,r further attention. "After Christmas we get quite a crowd who have overdone themselves on sweets." We then asked a question that had been on the tip of our tongue for s0me time. "Do men ever use the Stauffer System?" we queried. • (Continued from page 14) "Yes," said Mrs. Ezelle, "my husband is in the process of setting up a studio for men here now." Mrs. Ezelle then excused he1·self again to attend two women who were emerging from the private quarters. "The attendant back the·re was so love­ly," we heard one woman remark to Mrs. Ezelle. There were other pleasantries and then Mrs. Ezelle said, ushering the women through the door in the glass wall, "Tuesday will be fine .... Bye!" We had begun to wonder how things were going with Alice when she, too, came floating out, face flushed and se­ rene. "How was it?" we asked. "Oh, I think it was nice," said Alice, smiling dreamily. "I would like to take a course sometime." "How was the horseback ride?" we pursued. "It was very relaxing. Oh, I took a hike too. The girl said it was almost ten miles. My, nearly to Bull Creek." -WINSTON BODE • STANLEY SPECIALIZES IN CAND ID PHOTOGRAPHY PARTIES, WEDDINGS, BABY PICTURES STANLEY DEPWE "The best in candid photography" 241 8 Guadalupe Phone 2-2752 RENT A CAR DRIVE IT YOURSELF NEW INSURED CARS HOUR-DAY-WEEK . MONTH LOW RATES HILLARD'S RENT-A-CAR of Austin HE RTZ DRIVE-UR-SELF LICENSEE e Driver's license, references and deposit required. PHONE 7-3441 127 East 7th Austin, Texas TEXAS RANGER The battleship was in port and visitors were being shown around. The guide was exhibiting a bronze tablet on the deck. Guide-And this was where our gal­lant captain fell. Little Ole Lady-Well, no wonder, I nearly tripped on the damned thing my­self.-Brass • Judge: "Officer, what makes you think this gentleman is intoxicated?" Officer: "Well, judge, I didn't bother him when he staggered down the street, or when he fell flat on his face, but when he put a nickel in the mailbox, looked up at the clock on the Tower, and said, 'My God I've lost fourteen pounds!', I brought him in."-Sheriff's Journal • A sorority is a group of girls, living in one house, with a single purpose . .. to get more girls, to live in one house, with a single purpose.-Panhellenic • "Did that course in English help your boyfriend any?" "No, he still ends every sentence with a proposition."-H. Hopper • Pro : No, use your brassie. Fair Golfer: But I don't wear any this hot weather.--Titter • "I saw you running to work alongside your bicycle." "Yeah, I was late and didn't have time to get on."-Click • The farmer heard that Henry Ford II was seeking tin for use in his latest me­chanical marvel. So he tore the roof off his barn and sent it to Michigan. A week later he received the following commu­nication: "Though your car was in very bad condition, we can promise delivery by the first of the month."-GM News • Customer-Have you any wild ducks? Waiter-No, sir; but we can take a time one and irritate him for you. -Long Island Bugle • Angry Father-What do you mean by bringing my daughter in at this hour of the morning?" Student-Have to be at class by eight. • -Pie Tired after a hard day, a distin­guished congressman in Washington handed the menu back to the waiter and said : "Just bring me a good meal.'' A good meal was served and the ·con­gressman gave the waiter a generous tip. "Thank you, suh," the waiter said, "'nd if you got any friends who can't read, yo' jus' send em to me." -Congressional Record • "We are having a raffle for a poor widow. Will you buy a ticket?" "Nope. My wife wouldn't let me keep her if I won." -Tom Brenneman's Magazine • • EIGHTY-FIVE Gino Bell' . cutting the 1~1,. campus barber h for sevent air of Universit, as been cord' y-three yea . y students mg to h. I rs. Gmo h hair to . is ast estimate as, ac-cloth . Wlnter-proof h. ' cut enough e his seve . is Austin h furniture H n children a d ome, t · e has I ' n stuff h· o pad th a so found 't is in Rollin e vacant lot next ti n~cessary gwood. o his hous ne of th e 0 larity an1onge reasonsu . for G.mo's p ransit cust mversity stud opu­ omers is th ents a dt no speak E . e fact th n tpect sits in G~ghsh. When a ha: he can­ with th mo's chair h . airy pros­the e familiar "H e is not greeted weather?" . " ow do . the T. . or, What d you hke uman-D o you th· 1 says "Ra id ewey deal?" Inst mk of sen ca .P o vendo los h ead, Gino mmo d uevos ·t el Herr , onde vas?" 0 m1 gros­ und D · r "C At fi ammen ist ' ompreo he is hrst ~he customer ~erveza grenen." earm is not s tinues with h~ correctly, but G~~·e that sation: s rather one-sid o con­ "Ut ed conver­ factu b h · m torso ac nicht geld " . revoltum ad n lowed b "H , Gmo is apt t ausea 1 Y arpe . o say f ousen ek n sie nicht un . , o ­h no . g lopfen." Th. d w1e au s­ys Gmo's custo is sort of talk mers at first an­ • CENTS A HEAD them think that . them, but this . Gmo is making . is not the ca fun of Gmo was b se. or · Germany at n m Italy. He m sent t . the age of oved to o high h ten a d was fift sc ool in Me . , n was tions ine~raand had to sp:~~o h':hen he the diff nee. All of th. is vaca­ . erences of th is travel a d mo into a stat e. Ianguages dr n G known as le . e of mental . ove be t k tterism. Noth. disorder a en as an . mg he sa know wh t h msult becaus h ys can a e is e e doe ' and child saying. . sn t 0 1 h ren reall n Y his w'f e reads th y understand h. I e n rec1t poetry. e newspaper a d im. as W es hen asked ·f the barber b . I he would r t' w· h . usmess G' e ire from IC tig er joven , mo replied "N' h c'est I em los P 1c t a guerre I esos gespend anslaugen . a enfant Raoule en . v1 empe . · · · m1 aubelo d . 110 mas. Mas I ist et filio m ~s kmdermund GI ~ paso a haben w e~. La vatican ist ona patri bier aufa~ e ~nd mesa. Auch g~oss und G' er tier troffen" ut nicht mo was · · duce the pri~~strumental in he! i cents S of haircuts t p ng re­ . ays G. o e· h stol."-G. W. mo, modestly, "Shapka na ig ty-five WE SERVE THE BEST MEXICAN FOOD • SEA FOOD • STEAKS PLAN YOUR NEXT HISTORIC OLD PARTY IN THE "WINE CELLAR" . Call 8-4321 for reservations 01d RESTAURANT AND GIFT SHOP Fred and Ina Leser Owners I bth at GuadaIupe TEXAS RANGER and makes "] ced blood, vlease." '/!:Tl GHT SPOTS > AND HOW TO GET OUT OF 'EM FREE! A box ot LIFE SAVERS for the best wisecrack! What is the best joke that you heard on the campus this week? For the best line submitted to the editor each month by one of the students, thci·c will be a free award of an attractive cellophane­-ranpcd a!'Oi.0 1·t nwnt of all the Life Sa ver flavors. A donkey brayed as a husband drove down a country road with his wife. "Relative of yours ?" he asked. Sweetly she answered, "Yes, by marriage." Lionel Berry 2715 Rio Grande Austin, Texas A .,9,~!:~::t~~~~. ' A A cheerful thing when it's something of Ty's. J B The shamrock and the blarney stone. Have helped to make its power known. c Ten to the sixth say they satisfy. Ten to the zero will echo their cry. ANSWERS WILL APPEAR IN THE NEXT ISSUE OF YOUR MAGAZINE RULES FOR CHESTERFIELD HUMOR MAGAZINE CONTEST 1. Identify the 3 subjects in back cover ad. All cluc1 arc in ad. 2. Submit answers on, Chesterfield wrapper or reasonable facsimile to this publication office. 3 First ten correct answers win one carton of Chesterfield Cigarettes each. 4. Enter as many as you like. but one Chesterfield wrapper or facsimile mustaccompany each entry. 5. Contest closes midnight. one week after this issue's publication date. New conte•t next issue. 6. Answers and names of winners will appear in the next issue. 7. All anewers become the property of Chesterfield. 8 Dcc11ion of judges will be final. LAST MONTH'S ANSWERS & WINNERS A The word Milder which is underlined (and is in comparative degree) in the phrase 0 1 enjoy Chesterfields because they're really Milder. " B The twenty-fifth letter of the alphabet is Y. Add a MAN and you have Y-MAN, or WYMAN. C Mac (or Mc), and "a pin to join two pieces" (dowel) gives you McDowell, with which name you may win. WINNERS . .. 1. John H. Miles 5. Ken Cochran 2. Jimmie Miles 6. Hugh Louis Graham 3. Robert L. Donaldson 7. Gus J. Korschewsky 4. G. W. Willis 8. Mike Brennan NOVEMBER, 1948 SUITED /a."-a eJau M ea/lee//,/ IMPECCABLY TAILORED TO FIT YOUR PROPORTIONS PRICED TO FIT YOUR BUDGET finest imported & domestic woolens. LOUIS N. ROSE FORMERLY SCHWARTZ TAILORS 009 BRAZOS MUSIC : VINTAGE (Continued from page 40) The most noticeable shortcoming of this album is the occasional muffling of the piano by the orchestra. But this is a fault of neither Curzon nor Jorda, but is rather an example of Brahms' weak­ness for overpowering orchestral effect. John McCormack's fans will be happy over the new Victor album, J ohn McCor­mac/c Sings Again. The album assembles a varied group of the late tenor's re­cordings. The selections point up nicely his extraordinary versatility, and also serve to show how oppressive this highly mannered, precious vocalism can be, par­ticularly in large doses. The recordings are undated, so there is no accurate way of determining at what period these cut­tings were made, but the voice sounds fresh throughout and there are no lem­ons in the set. Included are arias and songs by H.andel, Mozart, Puccini, Bizet, Brahms and a couple of the more popu­ lar songs which made him famous­"Macushla" and "I Hear You Galling Me."-Lynwood Abram Brahms Concerto No. I in D Minor {English Decca No. 47) John McCormack Sings Again {Victor M0­ 1228) • While in New York on a vacation trip my wife and I hailed a taxi and told the driver where we wanted to go. He raced off wildly and went careening down the street, swaying, bumping, and giving us several anxious moments. Noticing our concern, he shouted over his shoulder, "Don't worry folks. I ain't going to land in no hospital, especially after spending a year in one overseas." "How dreadful," answered my wife sympathetically. "You must have been seriously wounded." "No," he replied cheerfully, "never got a scratch. I was a mental case:" -Yank • Two men were standing on a street corner when a third man came up and said "Whhatt t-t-time is it? The man who was asked gave no reply. Again the man asked: "Wwwatt t-t-t-t-ime is it p-p-please." The other man turned and said "eight thirty!" After character number three had gone, characted num­ber two asked: "Why didn't you tell him the time, you have a watch!" To this the other replied, "Do yyyyyou t-t-think I want to gggget mf b-b-b-lock knocked off! "-F. R. Moerke • TOUGH TRAINING Jean Arthur, one of the stars of Para­mount's "A Foreign Affair," learned how to be a top romantic comedienne the lilard way. She started shrdlu etaoin shr ZESTO Austin's Finest Soft Frozen Cream *NEW * DELICIOUSLY * DIFFERENT FLAVORED * IDEAL FOR PARTIES * "HOTS WITH CHILI " AND FRESH ORANGE JUICE Drive Over and Have Our Economical Supper as You Sit in Your Car or Take 'Em Home with You. 816 W.12th I Block West of Austin High School Wlte'te l.Joutk ?neets ~xpe'tiettce The Bank Of Personal Service FIDELITY STATE BANK CONGRESS AT NINTH Member Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. U. S. GOVERNMENT DEPOSITORY TEXAS RANGER WEST LAKE DRIVE CALL 9397 ACROSS THE LAKE, JUST ABOVE THE DAM. THE EASIEST ROUTE TO YACHT HARBOR IS BY BOAT FROM­ BENNETT BOAT DOCKS WATER TAXI SERVICE-ROW BOATS-SAIL BOATS-"PUT-PUTS" 3826 Lake Austin Blvd. Phone 8-0238 PICK A CARD (Continued from page 51) turns the rest over to the operator when he comes around Saturday at noon to pick up the cards. All pay-offs are made on Monday when the Operator takes the winning cards and pay-off money back to the places where the bets were taken. It would be wild guessing to say how many places in Austin carry these cards, but there are half a dozen or more within easy walking distance of the campus. Most of them "don't know" how much they take in and pay out each week. One of the places just off the campus figures that he takes in about 160 to 175 cards each week, but figures on doing much better. Some of the bet takers have been betting on cards themselves, but haven't done very well. One of them was happy to announce that last year he broke even on his bets. Others say that they have Jost on every bet and have given it up. In all of the places betting is done in the open, across the counter. There is no sly handling of cards or money. Some places even have cards at every seat along their counters and on each table like menus. The police have stepped in to stop the circulation of the cards only once. Last year, late in the season, they clamped down. One operator said that this was because someone had turned out some cards on high school games and distrib­ LUBY'S CAFETERIA Featuring Home Style Cooking at Reasonable Prices. SERVING HOURS 11 -2:00 5 -7:30 CLOSED SUNDAYS 915 CONGRESS AVENUE ALSO IN AUSTIN DALLAS, WACO, SAN ANTONIO uted them around the high school. Most University students are familiar with the parlay cards, and a good many of them bet on the games every week. If you think Barnum was wrong, give it a try. -BILL YATES • AGAIN? There is the short story of the couple who brought the back seat of their auto­mobile into the police station and re­ported the automobile stolen.-Friends • "Did he walk you home from the stage door?" "He sure did," her friend answered. "How far did he go?" "That's none of your business,'' the other answered.-Theater Arts • "Shrdlu, shrdlu, lily etaoin." NOVEMBER, 1948 Three UT co-eds-I. to r., Carlita Wollbrett, Alicia Wiggs, and Martha Smith filling their trays with delicious food at the new A-BAR CAFETERIA, 2612 Guadalupe. Adv. ~ AND TO KEEP PACE WITH THE EVER-INCREASING DEMAND Chesteifle!d is /Jui/ding a1wtherfactor!I -it's large -it's modern and in the very heart of Tobaccoland where the Chesterfield Factory group and tobacco-ageing warehouses Copyrighr 1948, L1ccm & Mvm ToBAcco Co. See page 58 for list of last month's winners.